11 Signs She’s Interested (and 10 Signs She’s Not!)

11 Signs She’s Interested (and 10 Signs She’s Not!)

how to quit being a loser with women

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if she’s interested or if she just sees you as a friend or a “nice guy. What makes it even harder to tell if she likes you is there’s a lot of bogus information on the web written by men who have little to no real experience with women and women who don’t see and understand their own “wiring” or unconscious behavior around men. The advice is nice, sparkly, and romantic – but it’s not real world advice that actually helps you get the results you’re looking for.

So, the following 21 things are from real world experience with hundreds of women.

You won’t learn the “if she’s touching her hair she likes you” or “looking to her left means she likes you” type of stuff because I don’t believe it’s entirely accurate or that it applies to all women. I’ve personally never noticed a definite and predictable pattern of very subtle extremely specific behaviors when she’s interested or not.

With that said, here are 11 ways to tell if she’s interested and 10 ways to tell if she’s not.


11 Signs She’s Interested

1. She’s Always Talking to You

she likes you if she talks to you

This can be tricky because some women like talking to you because they’re just nice, sweet, and polite people or they like you as a friend. Other women aren’t as sweet and polite will enjoy talking to you because they’re genuinely interested in you. There’s a definite difference.

One woman I dated is very beautiful and friendly and a lot of men mistake her friendliness as her seeing them as more than a friend.

Pay close attention to whether she’s just being nice and polite or she’s actually giving you extra attention.

The obvious sign she’s interested and sees you as more than a friend is if she’s spending a lot of time talking to you and she’s going out of her way to do it. It’s a noticeable pattern that she’s investing her valuable time IN YOU when she could be spending it doing something else. Pay close attention, notice the pattern, and decide whether she’s being friendlier than most women would be. It’s very noticeable when she’s talking to you just to be polite vs. when she’s talking to you because she’s interested in you.

2. She Calls or Texts You FIRST

signs she's into you

This is HUGE.

When you’re on her mind, she’ll make it obvious.

Most women don’t call or text guys they like out of boredom – they actually think ahead and if they’re not interested in being more than friends, they avoid giving out the wrong idea. If she’s calling and texting you “just because” and she sounds excited to talk to you, it’s a big sign she likes you.

Think about it – she has so many other things she can be doing with her time, but instead, she’s spending it talking to you. Women only do this when they’re interested.

3. She’s Touching You

If she’s not interested, she’s NOT going to go out of her way to physically place any part of her body on yours – not even her fingers!

A big sign she’s interested is if she’s comfortable getting physical either by pushing you, rubbing you, getting close to you, or simply touching you.

Women are sensitive to touch and when a creepy guy bumps into her or touches her, she’s going to freak out and lose her mind.

So, if she’s the one putting her hands on you, then you can be sure she’s interested and not afraid to make it noticeable.


4. She Saying You’re Being a “Stranger”

signs she likes you - stranger

Saying you’re being a “stranger” is a big sign she’s been thinking and wondering about you. It’s a sign she’d like for you and her to be closer so you’d talk to her more.

If she wasn’t interested, you wouldn’t be on her mind and she wouldn’t notice your absence.

5. She’s Being Extra Nice

signs she's interested

If she’s going out of her way to get on your good side, she probably very interested. If she wasn’t, she’d just be “whatever” around you – but she’s not.

Since it seems like she wants something from you, it means she’s looking for your attention and approval.

Don’t be naive and get the wrong idea if she’s just as nice to everyone else as she is to you. Being nice doesn’t guarantee she’s interested – it’s when she’s EXTRA nice to you and everyone else notices it too.

6. She’s Making It Clear She’s Single

When she’s interested, she’ll MAKE IT KNOWN she’s single.

She wants to be sure you’re not thinking she has a boyfriend. If you are thinking it, she wants to be sure you know she’s single and available.

She’ll say things like, “Nope. 100% single. No man here.” or “Yea since I don’t have a boyfriend.” or “Nope. Not dating anyone…”

When she’s throwing the word “single” around while she’s talking to you, it’s almost GUARANTEED she’s deliberately making it known.

7. She’s Asking Personal and “Get to Know You” Questions

It’s not worth her time to ask personal and “get to know you” questions to someone she’s not interested in.

When she’s interested and wants to know more, she’ll ask personal questions to see if you’re the type of guy she could date or be with.

With all of the emotional thoughts floating around in her mind at all times of the day, if she still finds the time, energy, and motivation to learn out what you’re about, then it’s a big sign she’s interested.


8. She’s Always Staring

staring means she likes you

A lot of women stare and aren’t totally unaware that they’re doing it. They zone out to some other place and their mind fills with thoughts while they stare at you.

Think she’s gonna stare intently at a dude she’s not interested in? No way!

When you catch her staring, it’s probably because you’re a tall glass of water and mama is thirsty!

9. She Doesn’t Keep Her Distance

When she’s interested, there’s a good chance she’ll forget about this awesome thing called “personal space” and if she’s super hot, it can be awesome when she’s invading it.

A woman who’s not into you or doesn’t like you isn’t going to cross that invisible boundary.

10. She Compliments and Teases You

When little boys like little girls and vise versa, they tease each other, pull each other’s hair, chase each other around, and so on. We still do this as adults – only on a much more complicated and sophisticated level.

If she’s making jokes, picking at you, poking you, and teasing you in a lighthearted manner, it’s a good sign she’s interested.

When we like someone, we give them a hard time and play around with them – it’s human nature.

Also, women don’t dish out many compliments to guys they aren’t interested in – especially the women who receive all of the compliments.

If she’s dishing them out, she’s probably into you.

11. She Makes Lots of Eye Contact

interested eye contact

When she likes you and is interested, she’ll make lots of eye contact. Not only is she naturally and unconsciously doing it, but she also wants to see if she has your attention. She wants to see if you’re noticing her.

When she’s not interested, she’ll avoid excess eye contact because she doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea. But if she’s looking into your eyes more than women usually do, then you have her attention.


10 Signs She’s NOT Interested

1. She Avoids You

10 signs she's not interested

If she seems to go way when you’re walking in her direction or she acts like she didn’t see you, she might be avoiding you because she’s not interested.

If she, at least, didn’t feel one way or the other about you, she wouldn’t go out of her way to distance herself from you.

2. She Never Calls or Texts Back

ignoring calls and texts

Super obvious…

If she doesn’t call or text back, then you guess she’s probably not interested.

It’s not “Oh maybe she lost her phone”, “maybe she isn’t getting my messages”, or “she’ll get back to me when she’s not busy”. Don’t be delusional.

If she’s interested, she WILL find the time and means to call and text you back. She’s also worried YOU might lose interest in HER if she doesn’t!

Open your eyes to the obvious signs and stop hoping it’s a crazy coincidence. If it LOOKS like she’s not interested, you’re probably right.

3. She Keeps Her Distance

Remember the personal space thing?

If she obviously and deliberately keeps her distance, then she might not be interested.

Women enjoy closeness and comfort with a guy they like and are interested in so it’s bad news if you’re not seeing it at all.

4. She Gets Annoyed Talking to You

she doesn't enjoy talking to you

Her eyes are darting around the room, she’s looking around, looking at her watch, playing on her phone, and seems completely uninterested.

If you can see it and feel it in your gut that she’s interested in everything else but you, then you should probably end the conversation or date and save some time.

5. She Makes It Obvious She’s Taken

If she isn’t interested, she’ll MAKE IT KNOWN she’s taken or she’ll lie about it just to get you to leave her alone.

If she IS interested BUT has a boyfriend, she’ll all of a sudden have amnesia and forget to mention him.

By the way, I don’t support the idea of trying to date women with boyfriends because it’s just not a cool thing to do. Don’t be “that guy”.


6. She Doesn’t Care to Know Anything About You

Like I said earlier, if she’s interested, she’ll ask personal questions and take interest in your answer.

If you don’t notice this happening, it’s a sign you’re not the guy she’s looking for.

7. She Stares At Other Guys

not interested staring at other guys

It doesn’t get much clearer that she’s not interested when she’s obviously checking out other men right in front of your face. A woman who’s very interested seems to forget everyone else in the room and only focuses on YOU and HER.

If she notices all of the other guys walking around seems interested in them, she probably doesn’t like you.

8. She’s Completely Detached

When she’s interested in getting to know you, she’s engaged and present. She’s focused on what you’re saying, how you’re saying it, and where you’re going with it.

When she’s not engaged and present and completely detached, you can be sure she’s not interested. If she is, she has a weird way of showing it.


9. She Doesn’t Touch You or Get Physical

This one is “iffy” because some women are more reserved than others – which is perfectly fine.

Some aren’t comfortable enough with touching and getting physical or it goes against their better judgement.

Again, perfectly fine.

Others are worried it’s too “slutty” and they don’t want you getting the wrong idea of them.

Whatever it is, if she’s not getting physical but you also notice other signs she’s not interested, you can probably assume she doesn’t like you THAT much.

10. She Doesn’t Invite You

If she likes you, she’s going to drag you along and you will have to listen to her and her girlfriends shriek like Hyenas when they laugh.

If she’s always going out but always has an excuse why you can’t come, then she’s probably not interested.

When she likes you, she’ll always want to include you in what she has going on and she’ll want her friends to meet you and approve of you.

If you don’t see that happening, you know what that means.


When trying to see if she’s interested, use your brain, open your eyes, pay attention, and use common sense when interacting with her. Women aren’t insane algorithm robots we have to decode and decipher. They’re normal people and shouldn’t have to over-complicate things when attempting to figure out if she’s interested.

Thanks for reading,

– Marc Summers

how to quit being a loser with women

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13 Comments on “11 Signs She’s Interested (and 10 Signs She’s Not!)

  1. A girl I like,the day I ask to get her number she was very happy and told me if I do not call her,her spirit will not leave me to rest…latter on I started noticing she never want to talk, I shook her hand she complained I was distracting Her in church, she told me all this and never want to talk

  2. Guys, don’t take any of this stuff too seriously.

    Case in point: I recently went on a date with a woman I’ve been acquainted with for a long time who checked off so many boxes on the “she likes you” checklist that I was certain she was into me. When we chatted via text, our conversations were fun and a little flirty but also substantive; we met for a date, and she greeted me with a close, warm embrace; we spent two-hours walking around a park talking and getting to know one another better; she laughed at my stupid jokes — the kind of light, melodic laugh that guys love to hear; she made an effort to end “awkward silences”; she asked personal questions about my future plans (like did I have any plans to move out of state); we made eye contact when we talked; she smiled at me; she walked close to me; at the end of the date, she gave me another hug readily agreed to a second date and even named a time when she was available; when I texted her later and told her what a great time I had, she agreed and thanked me for meeting her…

    I was golden, right? Well, no. When I contacted her again a day or two later, she confessed that she wasn’t interested in dating anybody because of other priorities in her life. Bit of a “whammy”, to say the least, especially after all the supposed signals she sent out.

    So, yeah, just because some website tells you that a woman likes you, be careful you’re not setting yourself up for disappointment.

  3. I was very interested in a girl at work. I was totally infatuated from the first moment I saw her. She was a manager of another department when she started making unmistakable eye contact with me. She would stand there and give me these big dazzling sexy smiles, and she would keep smiling as I melted in her radiance; it appeared to be pretty deliberate. A few months later, she took over the department I was working in – gulp! So now I was in a situation where a girl, that I had a devastating crush on, and my “fucking boss” (pronounce it with a Jersey accent) were one in the same person. For those of you who have never been in this kind of situation, I can tell you that it is every bit as exhausting as you can imagine. About six months into it, one day I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally revealed to her that I liked her. I believed my chance of success or failure was about 50/50. The next day at work, I was called into the Store Manager’s Office and informed that I was being terminated for sexual harassment; that I would never be eligible to work for their outfit ever again. It was the department-store equivalent of a summary execution. What makes this worse is that this is not the first time I have been so ignominiously rejected by a promising love interest. It makes me wonder if every one of these eleven positive points must check out first before it is safe to proceed. Obviously, 4 out of 11, or 6 out of 11 is not good enough.
    As you can well imagine, I have given this a lot of thought. I took the 21 bullet points I found in this article, arranged them into a chart form, and modified some of the points. Listed below are two charts: The first chart is based on simple yes/no answers; the second chart is based on ratings from 1 to 10. The results surprised me. The first chart (based upon a yes or no threshold) gave me a weak positive score; the second chart (based upon a totally subjective assessment of my personal experience over the whole time I knew her) gave me a slightly negative score. So I’ll ask again: How many of these points must be positive and how strongly positive must they be before anyone can reasonably predict that the girl actually likes you?

    11 Signs She’s Interested 11 Signs She’s NOT Interested
    She’s Always Talking to You She Gets Annoyed when You Try Talking to Her 0
    She Calls or Texts You FIRST She Never Calls or Texts Back x -1
    She’s Touching You x She Doesn’t Touch You or Get Physical +1
    It’s Obvious She Notices when You’re Gone x She Never Acknowledges Your Presence +1
    She Mentions Meeting In Other Settings x She Never Mentions Meeting In Other Settings +1
    She’s Making It Clear She’s Single She Makes It Obvious She’s Taken x -1
    She’s Asking Personal and “Get to Know You” Questions She Doesn’t Care to Know Anything About You x -1
    She’s Always Staring At You x She Stares At Other Guys +1
    She Regularly Enters Your “Personal Space” x She Maintains a “Social Distance” +1
    She Makes Lots of Eye Contact x She’s Completely Detached +1
    She Compliments and Teases You She Makes Insulting Insinuations 0
    +6 -3 +3

    11 Signs She’s Interested +110 11 Signs She’s NOT Interested -110 0
    She’s Always Talking to You +3 She Gets Annoyed when You Try Talking to Her -5 -2
    She Calls or Texts You FIRST +0 She Never Calls or Texts Back -7 -7
    She’s Touching You +5 She Doesn’t Touch You or Get Physical -5 0
    It’s Obvious She Notices when You’re Gone +3 She Never Acknowledges Your Presence -2 +1
    She Mentions Meeting In Other Settings +3 She Never Mentions Meeting In Other Settings -9 -6
    She’s Making It Clear She’s Single +7 She Makes It Obvious She’s Taken -5 +2
    She’s Asking Personal and “Get to Know You” Questions +1 She Doesn’t Care to Know Anything About You -8 -7
    She’s Always Staring At You +8 She Stares At Other Guys -1 +7
    She Regularly Enters Your “Personal Space” +5 She Maintains a “Social Distance” -5 0
    She Makes Lots of Eye Contact +9 She’s Completely Detached -4 +5
    She Compliments and Teases You +0 She Makes Insulting Insinuations -0 0
    +44 -51 -7

  4. What if “YES” and “NO” signs are combined in the same person?

    For instance, on a first date she keeps touching you all the time, devours you with her eyes, asks personal questions and is quite obviously interested, but second date never seems to happen and she makes no visible effort to arrange it, doesn`t text first and seems to have lost interest out of the blue? Playing hard to get or not interested anymore for whatever reason?

  5. Hello and Thanks for the advice. Neither one of us are young chicks anymore. We are both senior citizens. We both had our spouses pass on and trying to fill a void. She tells me that she doesn’t want to date, but when I stopped by her house she invited me in for coffee. I took her up on that. Naturally there were lots of Questions and after the coffee I had other business I had to take care of as she did also. She invited me back for another cup of coffee at a later date. We departed until sometime in the future. What does that mean?

    • It means even though she told you she doesn’t want to date, she’s interested at some level or another. She’s willing to dip her toe into the water and see what you’re about. The questions are to get an idea of what type of man you are. She’s running your answers through her brain, comparing them to her biases and judgement, and seeing how well you would fit into her life IF things continue to move in a positive direction. It’s a slow process. Just be patient. Some women take a while to warm up to you. But the fact that she invited you in for coffee shows that there’s, at least, a little bit of interest there.

  6. The trick is to stay out of the Friend Zone. Be friendly but don’t ever allow yourself to basically be the male equivalent of one of her girlfriends. Obviously be respectful of what she has to say it etc but be smart. Don’t be giving her money, take your time responding to texts, etc. If you drift into the friend zone it is hard to get out of it, keep your distance to a degree.

  7. A comprehensive post. Really enjoyed reading it. It’s usually not easy to decipher, what a woman really wants from you. But, a little of psychology always helps.

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