7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want

7 Reasons Why You Cannot Build the Muscle You Want

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As shallow as this might sound, being well-built is probably going to give you quite a bit of an advantage in the dating game. It’s no secret that both men and women do tend to be more attracted to those with more muscle.

It’s not the only factor of course. Being covered in muscle will probably land you quite a few dates and hookups, but if you treat people without care and affection, or if you have a selfish outlook on life, those dates won’t lead to much.

And this also isn’t to say that if you choose not to build muscle or get yourself in shape that you will never get anywhere in a relationship because that’s also very obviously untrue. However, from a biological and scientific perspective, it makes sense why it’s a benefit.

Instinctively, we are attracted to stronger people. Whatever our intentions our with the opposite sex, our subconscious is looking for good genes to pass on to potential offspring. And for women, a man who can protect his family, while for men a woman who can endure childbirth.

A dispassionate perspective on love, but a scientific one. And also, exercising and getting bigger and stronger is healthy, and it’s an unattractive trait to appear disinterested in taking care of yourself.

So with all of that in mind, you want to get the best of your bid to bulk up, and if you’re just starting out you might notice that you’re not quite achieving it. If you’re not building the muscle you’re after, there’s a number of potential reasons why:

1. Your Diet is All Wrong

7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want wrong diet

Food is just as important to building muscle as the exercise itself is. Not only do you have to be eating enough calories, you also have to be eating the right kinds of foods to ensure your muscles are getting the nutrients they need.

The lack of effective nutrition is the main reason why someone who is trying hard to work out and get somewhere with their body is not making any progress. Nutrition tends to be avoided because it seems complicated, but without it you’re wasting your time.

And the reality is that it’s actually not all that complicated. While you need a certain amount of things like fiber and carbs, the most important parts are protein and calories. And there are certain foods which will cover all of your nutrition if you include them in your diet.

Meats like beef and chicken, eggs, cheese, whole grains and oatmeal are among some of the most reliable sources of nutrients out there and you can’t go wrong including all of them.

2. Your Form is Lacking

7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want bad form

If you’re not that familiar with strength training and bodybuilding, the word ‘form’ probably doesn’t mean all that much to you. Form basically means the specific way in which your body does an exercise.

Bad form can lead to injury, it can allow you to ‘cheat’ the exercise in such a way that you’ll accomplish it but without the desired result and if you can avoid bad form then you can be more assured of good strength and muscle progress.

It can be difficult to master your form in every exercise you want to do and the urge to cheat will be there, but much like a bad diet, bad form is self-sabotage when working out and is ultimately just a waste of your time.

3. You’re Not Allowing Recovery Time

7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want not enough recovery time

Rest and recovery is an extremely important thing to include in your workout routine because it is necessary for your body to slow down in order for the benefits of the exercise to actually sink in.

There are a few different kinds of recovery. You need to give yourself recovery time within the exercise, meaning that you have to take a few minutes break between each set of work on a specific muscle.

There’s also the importance of not doing anything strenuous or high-energy for several hours after you’ve completed your workout. And then there’s the importance of not working out the same muscle group two days in a row. You can actually do damage to your body without good recovery.

4. You’re Surpassing Your Limits

7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want poor form

Now don’t get this point twisted, you do need to push yourself to make progress, but everybody has their limits. Everybody that you see in the gym that you admire? They’ve got their limits too, theirs are just quite a big higher than yours.

You need to work at your own pace. Don’t try and replicate what anyone else in there is doing, especially if you are just getting started. They’ve been doing this for anywhere from a couple of days to several decades longer than you have and you have to build up to that level.

Start out relatively slow. The thing is that even as a beginner, there are a huge amount of exercises that you can do, you just need to accept that you can’t quite match the intensity that others who have been doing it for longer can.

5. You’re Undisciplined

7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want - lacking discipline

Discipline is essential if you want to succeed in anything, and building muscle is no exception to that. If you make a decision one day that it’s okay for you to miss a workout just because you’re tired or because you’d rather do something else, you’re setting a precedent for yourself.

You do it once, you’ll do it again. That’s basically what the absence of discipline is. The willingness to abandon your commitments for no good reason. Self-discipline is not an exclusively exercise-related essential.

It’s a skill and a habit which you can teach yourself as a general rule and it will then serve you in all walks of life, exercise included. With this in mind, it can lead to another common obstacle to success:

6. Your Routine is Inconsistent

Having a set routine makes everything so much easier. If you don’t have one and you just decide you’ll get to the gym whenever you can and do whatever exercises you feel like, you won’t get very far.

You need a specific plan, one that’s well-thought out and developed with logic, which you then must stick to. Changing things on a daily basis, removing exercises randomly or skipping days when it’s inconvenient will make your overall progression inconsistent.

A big reason why this happens for some people is because of the fact that they have to actually get to the gym which for some people is a task in itself. Maybe you’d be better off developing a little gym for yourself at home.

This will make you less likely to skip days because the lack of a journey to and from the gym will make it so much easier to factor your workout into your schedule.

7. You’re Not Getting Enough Sleep

7 reasons why you cannot build the muscle you want - not enough sleep

This ties into the idea of rest and recovery that we discussed above. You’ll probably want to be sleeping for about 8 hours per night anyway if you want to function as a normal human being, but certain things also happen during sleep which are beneficial for muscle mass.

While you sleep, your body releases a number of human growth hormones which your muscles need to grow (obviously) and it’s also when your body begins the all-important process of protein synthesis. So in effect, most of the work is actually done while you’re asleep.

It’s important to note that even if you get yourself into great shape and you build up an awful lot of muscle, it doesn’t guarantee you a date or a relationship. You need to also work on having a relaxed and attractive personality.

But scientifically speaking, being big and strong is unquestionably a step in the right direction. And you’ll feel better if you exercise regularly anyway so it’s really a win-win.

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Hi, I'm Marc Summers

marc summers of major league dating

I used to suck big time with women, dating, and relationships even though I was nicer than other guys, tried my hardest, and followed all of the dating advice. The women I landed, unsurprisingly, weren’t very picky or hard to get and I regularly got cheated on and dumped. Despite being the nice, generous, thoughtful, and loving guy I thought women wanted, once they got to know me, the attraction disappeared.

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