Most Of Us Today Are Too Nervous, Anxious, Uptight, And High-Strung
Because of social media, advertising, television, and the internet, we are overstimulated, have more options than our brain can handle, and there’s so much noise happening that it’s easier than ever to always be in a freaked out, anxious, nervous, weird, high-strung, and sketchy state.
It’s easier to feel stress, worry, and tension.
In fact, being in this state of stress, worry, and tension is becoming the new norm – and most of us don’t even realize when we’re being high -strung!
Since being in a state of constant calm and relaxation is becoming more and more rare, learning to become unusually calm, chilled out, and not letting things get under your skin is something you can use to your advantage in your daily life and with women.
Being Cool, Calm, Collected, Relaxed, And Composed Communicates Confidence And Mental Strength
The high-strung, anxious, nervous, and fidgety guy makes everyone feel “off”, uptight, and uneasy.
The calm, collected, and cool guy makes everyone turn inward and ask themselves, “Am I doing too much right now? Am I being cool? Am I relaxed? This guy seems a lot calmer than I feel at the moment.”
He sets the standard for the temperament we should naturally have and he reminds others to calm down, relax, and to be cool – without saying a word.
When you’re unusually calm, cool, and collect, others are more likely to admire you, look up to you, and want to be more like you.
They’re more likely to want to be around you and bask in your calmness.
Your composure and calm demeanor makes others feel, in a way, “safer” and more secure.
Regardless of what’s happening around him, my good friend Phil is uncommonly calm, cool, collect, and composed from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep.
NOTHING gets under his skin and bothers him.
NOTHING gets him overly excited and anxious.
As a result, women and others like being around him and everyone wants to be his friend.
Women Love Calm, Cool, Collect, And Relaxed Men
Being in this calm, cool, collect, relaxed, and composed state causes women to want to be around you because your composure and temperament makes them feel “safer”, happier, calmer, and more relaxed because you’re just so “cool” about it all.
High-strung, stressed, worried, nervous, and anxious men freak women out and cause them to run away while very relaxed men make women more comfortable, relaxed, and happier.
When given the choice, women prefer the relaxed, cool, and calm guy over the guy who can’t keep himself together.
Being Calm, Cool, And Collect Helps You Avoid Mistakes
The saying “cooler heads prevail” is an important mindset to adopt because it’s true with every situation you’ll find yourself in.
When you’re stressed, worried, freaking out, and your emotions are taking over the logical part of your brain, it’s easier to make mistakes and make decisions that, in retrospect, aren’t the best for the situation.
Whether you’ve known her for years or you barely met her 5 seconds ago, it’s important to always remain calm, cool, collect, and relaxed so you can think clearly and not overreact to whatever is happening.
Personally, most of the mistakes I’ve made with women and dating were the product of being tense, anxious, and thinking too much and I’ve learned that when I’m in a tense or stressful situation with women, I get the best results when I’m able to remain calm, cool, and relaxed.
So to help you get on the right track to being the chill guy women love being around, here are 31 ways to be the calm, collect, and cool guy regardless of what’s happening.
1. Be Happy and Grateful for What You Have Right Now
When you’re unhappy with your current situation in life, where you’re at, and what you’re getting, it’s easy for negative feelings to cause you anxiety and stress.
Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, where you’re not at in your life, and what you’re not getting at the moment, make the conscious decision to express gratitude and be happy with where you’re currently at.
You may not live in the big house you want, but at least you have a place to live.
You may not drive the big truck or fancy car you’re aiming to get, but at least you have a way to get around.
You may not have that perfect job, but at least you have a job.
You may not have enough money splurge or to go on a vacation, but at least you have enough to pay your bills.
You may not be happy with your current physical appearance, but at least you have your arms, legs, fingers, and toes and you can improve your appearance.
There’s ALWAYS something to be happy about.
You may not have what you want at the moment, but you at least have what you need.
You can work towards whatever it is you want, but don’t beat yourself up and stress about what you don’t have at the moment.
Be happy with where your life is – even if you’re aiming for something bigger and better.
Each step of the way, look around you and say, “I’m content with this because I know it could be worse.”
2. Only Worry About Now
Another part of being happy and grateful for what you have and where you’re at is not tangling up the past, present, and future.
Thinking, stressing, and worrying about what happened yesterday, last week, or last year won’t change it and it’s a waste of your time to do so.
Thinking, stressing, and worrying about tomorrow, next week, or next year doesn’t do you any good until you get there.
Yes, you can plan and prepare for the future, which is smart, but it’s pointless to stress yourself out over it.
You have the most power to control today and the decisions you’re going to consciously make in this moment.
If someone asks me about last week, I tell them it’s already done and over with.
If someone asks me about next week, I tell them I’ll worry about it then.
It’s pointless to worry about yesterday and tomorrow if you don’t have the power to change it.
Let what happened in the past go.
Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.
Of course, plan, prepare, and be smart about your future, but don’t stress yourself out about it.
Doing so frees up space in your mind and allows you to be calm, chill out, and happier.
3. Practice Patience
When you catch yourself getting anxious, stressed, and worried, consciously make the decision to calm down, chill out, and relax your mind.
Don’t react to the first emotions that come up.
Consciously think about what’s happening in your mind and if it would be wise to say or do what you’re about to.
Patient people don’t allow their mind to control them.
They decide that whatever comes up, they’re going to make the best choice – whether it’s to say something or remain silent.
If they choose to say something, they do it in a very calm and intelligent manner.
No matter what, be patient.
Let others finish saying what they’re saying or doing what they’re doing before you respond.
Think, “Is what I’m about to say or do what a very calm, cool, and collect person would say or do?”
Stop, analyze, make a conscious decision, and then proceed.
4. Be In Your “Nothing Box”
I saw this video, and it’s so true, that talked about how men, in their mind, are able to switch from one box to another and women get all the boxes tangled up.
When men are doing something, they’re in that one mental box and they’re good at shutting off all other thoughts.
When women are doing something, they have 20 boxes open at once and they get stressed, anxious, and worried because they’re thinking about 20 things at once.
When you’re at work, you’re in your work box. You’re not concerned about home or anything else. In that moment, you’re only concerned about work and the job you’re doing.
When you’re at home, you’re in your home box. You’re not concerned about work or anything else.
NOTHING else is happening in your mind except for the box you’re in.
When I’m at the gym, I’m in my gym box. I don’t care about anything happening in the next hour or outside of the gym. I’m in my gym box.
So, when you’re around women and on a date, consciously switch to your box where nothing matters and you really don’t care.
Turn off all other thoughts.
It’s called the “nothing box”.
Nothing is happening in your mind except listening to her talk and having a good time with her.
In that moment, nothing else matters or concerns you.
Forget all the other boxes exist.
Don’t worry about work, home, or anything else.
Literally, empty your mind and switch to your “nothing box”.
After consciously working on this over and over, it becomes second nature and helps you to become more calm, cool, collect, and relaxed.
5. Be Realistic
The most relaxed guys I know are the most realistic about everything happening in their lives and around them.
They’re not stressing out, worrying, and getting anxiety wishing things were different.
They’re realistic and have an “Oh well, it is what it is” attitude towards everything.
If they want more money, they don’t stress out thinking that the monetary system is rigged and they’re being screwed over by “the man” – they know they either have to work harder, work more hours, get a higher paying job, get a new career, etc.
Instead of stressing out and worrying, they make the decision to do something about it.
If they want to get better with women, they don’t stress out, worry, and get anxiety thinking that women are the ones with the problem – they realize that maybe they can improve themselves to become more attractive.
The most unrelaxed and anxious people are the ones who are out of touch with reality, they refuse to see what’s really happening, and they refuse to do anything about it on their end.
Once you can be realistic and accept everything happening in your life, everything will fall into place and you can begin living your life from a more relaxed point of view.