10 Tips for Texting Women
These Tips Work Consistently
Over the last 10 years, I’ve made a lot of mistakes texting women but I’ve also discovered what works better than the things most guys do.
EVERYTHING I know about texting women is this eBook and Audiobook Texting Titan! but for now, here are 10 tips to get you started:
1. Know Your Goal Of Texting Her
Every single time you text her or reply, it’s important to have a goal in mind. You can’t just blindly text with no end goal.
When I text women, most of the time, it’s to set up a time and date to hang out with them.
Text her, make some small talk for a few minutes, see how she’s doing, see if she’s available to hang out at a certain time and place, and then shut it down.
Your goal SHOULD be to get her on a date and to hang out with her in person – not to have a texting relationship with her. It shouldn’t be just to “chat” and to kill time.
When you decide you want to see her, text back and forth for a few minutes, tell her you want to hang out, and end it right there. Tell her you’ll see her then. If she says she can’t, then tell her “another time then” and STILL end the conversation.
2. Don’t Text Her Too Much
Instead of setting up the date and getting out, many of us hang around and keep texting. We “hang on” to the conversation as long as possible and to make something “happen” with it. Bad move.
The logical part of your brain says the more you text her, the more she’ll like you. But experience teaches that too much texting can lead to her being bored and less excited to see you.
Avoid making the mistake of texting too much and dragging out text conversations for too long.
3. Make Texts Quick, Short, and to the Point
Not only should you make the entire text conversation quick, short, and to the point, but you should also make individual text messages the same way.
Don’t use 50 words when 7 will do. It’s annoying to have to read all of it.
Keep your text messages short, but also avoid sounding like a robot. There’s nothing more annoying than “At store. Call back” because it’s so impersonal and robotic. Your texts don’t have to be THAT short.
“At the store. I’ll call you back” works just fine.
If she says, “wyd”, don’t reply back with, “Just went on a great run. It’s so nice outside! I’m really making some progress! I’m going to take a shower, make some food, probably listen to some music. What about you?” Instead, say something like, “Just got back from a run. About to shower and then eat. You?”
Same message, less cheesy, more normal sounding, and less of a headache for her to read.
4. Mirror Her Timing And Texts
You want visual balance. The text conversations that fail to create attraction are imbalanced – your text bubbles are bigger than hers because you’re saying more and she takes a lot more time to reply than you do. Everything is off.
On the other hand, the text conversations that lead to attraction and hanging out look much different – the bubbles are similar sizes because you’re matching the volume of words she’s using, the timing is balanced because you’re matching her timing, and everything is more “symmetrical”. Everything is more balanced.
When you text more often or more words and sentences than she does, it creates imbalance. The person “losing” is texting more words and sending more messages than the person who’s “winning” and getting the most attention. Pay attention to it. Keep the power balanced.
If you use more words than her, send more messages, text more often, and reply faster than she does, you’re, more than likely, giving your power away to her.
The more power you give away to her, the less she enjoys texting with you. The power you’re giving away is the power you NEED to attract her and keep her attracted – something you’ll learn in my eBooks How to Quit Being a Loser With Women and How Attracting Women Really Works.
When you lose this power, you lose the attraction. When you lose the attraction, you lose her.
If she uses 7 – 10 words in her text message, try to mirror it. It’s OK to use less, but not more. If she takes 3 minutes to reply, don’t reply within 5 seconds. Again, keep it balanced and mirrored.
When you text back RIGHT AWAY and she doesn’t even have time to look away from her phone, it’s painfully obvious you’re way more into her than she is into you.
5. Avoid Getting Overly Excited
It’s fine if you’re overly excited to talk to her, just don’t let her know about it. Don’t communicate it with your words, messages, and timing. It comes off as weird and a little creepy if it seems you have nothing better to do than to hold your phone, stare at your screen, and wait for her to reply.
Chill out, calm down, be cool, keep your composure, and relax.
The last thing you want her thinking is that something’s wrong with you because you’re too excited while texting her.
6. Don’t Overthink Your Texts And Her Replies
Spending too much time analyzing her texts and figuring out what they mean can easily screw you up and cause you to reply with the wrong message.
You don’t have to always think, “What doesshe means by this? Is she hinting at something?” No, she’s not. Most women will come right out and say whatever it is they’re going to say, and if they don’t, then don’t waste your time trying to solve the puzzle. If she gets mad because you don’t get what she’s “trying” to say, then tell her she needs to be more direct when texting and you don’t have time to solve riddles.
When women are texting, they aren’t thinking, they’re just texting. Most are constantly texting on their phones and they RARELY stop to think about what they’re going to text. They’re just relaxed, replying, and not too worried about it being perfect.
Do the same.
7. Don’t Worry About Being Perfect
While on the topic of being perfect – lose the idea of creating “perfect” text messages. The more perfect text messages are, the more fake and sketchy it can seem. Some guys, literally, spend 15 minutes figuring out how to say, “Haha. That’s funny” and deciding which emojis they should use so they’ll seem unique, cool, and special.
If something is funny but not funny enough to warrant a “lol” or “haha”, I simply reply with “dork” or “funny”. If something she says IS funny, my message is “Haha that’s pretty funny” And so on…
Keep it simple and don’t care about the perfect text message, reply, and what she thinks of your message. Be willing to make mistakes and look like a dumbass if that’s what it takes to get better.
Trying to be perfect when texting is a waste of time and can lead to major mistakes.
8. Avoid Being Boring
During your quick, short, and to the point text conversation with her, do your best not to be boring. It’s better to just stop replying and text her later than to keep texting her with or replying to a bunch of boring stuff.
Texting her with “I’m bored” is totally boring. When you do it, it’s a red flag you might be pretty lame.
Avoid talking about personal and “interview” stuff. If you think it’s a vital part of getting to know her and something that’s necessary, save it for when you’re hanging out with her face to face. It’ll go over A LOT smoother.
9. Keep it Light and Fun
Aside from the boring stuff, save texting about the heavy and emotional stuff for a later time.
Personally, I try to avoid the heavy stuff altogether until it’s absolutely necessary.
No texting about ex-girlfriends, bad relationships with family, or how your dog died in your arms. No negative and deep topics. Keep it light and fun.
Make jokes, make her laugh, and stay relaxed and cool about it all.
Don’t kill the vibe texting about dramatic and emotional stuff.
10. Accuse Her Of Flirting with You and Being a Pervert
75% of the time when I’m texting her, I’m accusing her of flirting with me and being a pervert.
It’s fun, funny, and more interesting when you’re accusing her of flirting with you and being a pervert. It beats ALWAYS talking about normal stuff and communicates you’re not afraid of her. It plants a seed in her mind that she ACTUALLY does like you and is comfortable having “sexual thoughts” about you.
The more you tease her and accuse her of liking you, the more she unconsciously starts to like you.
The more you accuse her of being a pervert, the more sexual thoughts she has about you. You’re bringing what you want into existence by teasing her about it.
When you have a chance to accuse her of flirting with you and being a pervert, take it – without being weird and creepy about it. It communicates you’re comfortable with her and not afraid to test the boundaries of your friendship with her.
Thanks for reading,
– Marc Summers