10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Fall in Love Too Fast

Share this article with friends

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on reddit
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on email

how to quit being a loser with women

Can You Relate To This Story?

falling in love too fast perfect girl

You meet an amazing girl. She’s a breath of fresh air and has everything you’ve been looking for – looks, smell, personality, humor, voice, skin tone, etc. She’s “perfect”. The total package. The real deal. On top of that, SHE’S REALLY INTO YOU!

You hit it off, become instantly inseparable, and EVERY DAY is spent hanging out or chatting on the phone. You feel like you’ve known each other for years and you can’t get enough… so you become attached quickly.

As the days go by, the intense “feelings” keep increasing and it’s pure euphoria. You’re way happier than you’ve been in LONG TIME, maybe happier than you’ve EVER been, and within days or a few weeks, the feelings become so intense and you’re flooded with so many emotions that you tell her you love her – WAY SOONER than you normally would. Luckily, she’s cool and admits she feels the same way and both of you are on cloud 9.

After it’s reached its climax, sadly, AS FAST AS it blossomed, the relationship, unexpectedly, falls apart.

You’re a freakin’ WRECK. You don’t want to eat, sleep, go to work, or even hang out with friends. You’re depressed because ALL YOU WANT IS HER BACK. But she doesn’t come back.


This isn’t the story of every man who falls in love too fast and I’m not saying love is a terrible thing. But, for a very large portion of us who have fallen in love too fast, it doesn’t end well.

It’s happened to me several times. I’ve fallen in love too fast, went all in, and ended up getting my heart stomped to pieces. I went in happy and came out feeling stupid.

As Corny As It Sounds, You Must Respect “Love”

Love is amazing and feels awesome. It’s wonderful when the girl you’re deeply in love with is by your side. It’s awesome when she’s on your mind 24/7 and you can’t wait to see her. That’s the top of the emotional scale. But love is also something that YOU MUST RESPECT and not be irresponsible with… like too many people are today.

Love should be a big deal to you and you don’t want to mess around be “in love” with every woman who shows interest.

If you’re not smart about love and you behave like a pre-teen girl meeting her boy band crush with every woman you “click” with, love will bite you in the ass every single time.

Here are 10 reasons you have to be smarter and more responsible when it comes to falling in love:

1. Falling In Love Too Fast Can Be Unstable

falling in love too fast guy in love

Like all creatures, we’re naturally wired to find a mate. It’s in our DNA. When we don’t have a mate, we naturally feel something is “off”. When we finally find the right mate, the thing that’s a little “off” becomes “just right”.

Love gives us extra self-esteem, confidence, and motivation. We can be down in the dumps when we’re single but feel like a million bucks when we’re in love. Like we’re unstoppable and can do or be anything! It makes us feel “complete”.

But, many of us are ADDICTED to falling in love and we lack emotional intelligence and control when we meet women!

When we meet an amazing woman, we go TOO HARD, TOO HEAVY, TOO FAST, fall in love quickly, and it falls apart just as quickly.

The faster you fall in love, the faster it can fall apart.

Just like in business, if you grow too fast or make too much money too fast, your chances of sustaining the business or money decrease. But, when the business grows slowly and steadily along with your money, the chances of your business and money sticking around are higher. Those who get rich overnight are usually broke within 5 years.

It’s the same with love and relationships. It works better when you’re smart and taking it slow, easy, and steady.

The Cycle of Falling in Love Too Fast

falling in love too fast depressed

When the quickly blossoming relationship doesn’t work out, it’s the lowest of lows. You’re depressed, hating life, and wishing you could stop the negative feelings and emotions. It’s the “roller coaster” effect experienced from falling in love too fast and getting overly attached someone we barely know.

This is the roller coaster effect:

  1. You meet her
  2. Get too excited about and “giddy”
  3. You fail to practice self and emotional-control and things move too fast
  4. Feelings of “love” sprout prematurely
  5. You’re on cloud 9
  6. Something “bad” suddenly happens
  7. Instead of keeping your cool, you freak out and try to fix it, but nothing works
  8. It ends up “not working out”
  9. You go through depression, sadness, hating life, and feeling like a failure
  10. Eventually, you accept what happened and decide to move on
  11. You meet another great woman, get too excited, and the cycle starts over

Balance and stability is key when it comes to love and attachment.

2. Falling In and Out of Love Is Dangerously Addicting

falling in love too fast your brain

Using drugs is like giving your brain a giant piece of candy. Dopamine floods your brain and you feel really good all over. So good, in fact, that the more times you do it, the more drugs you “crave” to combat your brain’s desensitization to it!

When in love, your brain releases Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Oxytocin as well as other chemicals associated with pleasure and excitement. These chemicals give you a natural high and make you feel fantastic. Your “pain”, frustration, worries, and anxiety just vanish. But like drugs, if you overdo it and you’re irresponsible, falling in love becomes DANGEROUSLY ADDICTIVE.

Ever seen someone who was always in love with a different person every time you saw them and their relationships never lasted long? They meet someone, fall in love, get bored, go through the emotional roller coaster, post pity-seeking stuff on Facebook, and then find someone else to make them feel that “high” again. It’s an addictive cycle!

They’re addicted to the POWERFUL “love chemicals” that make them feel really good. When the feeling is gone, they fall in love too fast AGAIN to get another “hit” of it. They’re, for lack of a better term, “love addicts”.

3. Falling In Love Too Fast Can Indicate Low Standards

You’re pickier about who you get close to and develop feelings for when your standards are high and women don’t want men who latch onto every girl that comes along. It looks desperate and needy.

Become absolutely clear on who you do and don’t want for yourself and your life and stop settling for just anyone.

Without this line drawn clearly in your mind, you end up with someone you don’t want and who doesn’t, and never will, make you truly happy.

Within reason, the higher your standards are, the healthier falling in love is and the more content you’ll be.

4. Getting Attached Easily is a Sign of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem men look to boost their confidence and self-esteem with validation from other people. They’re using people and things to feel better about themselves. Falling in love too fast with someone you barely even know and, then, getting heartbroken hurts your self-esteem, even more.

Instead of patching up your self-esteem using the love, attention, and the approval of another person, DO IT WITH YOUR OWN LOVE. Give YOURSELF what you’re seeking in others. Figure out the source of your low self-esteem and begin fixing it. Start looking on the inside and see what changes you need to make to yourself to start increasing your level of happiness. When you’ve invested enough time and energy into fixing your self-esteem, the need for outside approval begins to vanish.

We don’t need to get attached or constantly be in love to feel better about ourselves. It needs to come FROM THE INSIDE. When the approval and validation is coming from an internal place, your chances of it working out with women increases dramatically.

5. Falling in Love Too Fast Communicates Co-Dependency

falling in love too fast codependent

Co-dependency is depending on others for what you should be handling on your own. You’re unhappy unless you have someone to latch onto – someone who accepts and is cool with your co-dependency.

Falling in love too fast is a sign you’re co-dependent because you easily get attached and fall in love without hesitation or second thoughts.

Besides not being codependent, you should avoid women who show strong signs of co-dependency. The last thing you want in your life is a woman who can’t function without you by their side. You also don’t want to be the guy who can’t do anything without her by your side as well.

Independent men evaluate situations and proceed with caution when it comes to emotions and experiencing “feelings of love”.

They don’t jump blindly into relationships head first.

6. Falling in Love Too Fast Can Be Psychologically Unhealthy

falling in love too fast unhealthy

Over time, the highs and lows of falling in love too fast takes its toll – psychologically. The emotions you feel when it doesn’t work out physically AND mentally drain you.

When you’re down in the dumps, you suffer – you can’t sleep, you’re worn out, and feeling lazy, fatigued, and worthless. On top of that, your mind isn’t clear, you’re not focused, and you’re mentally and emotionally drained. Experiencing this deeply negative mental state over and over damages you. Studies reveal that chronic or consistent depression can literally DAMAGE YOUR BRAIN. Positive thoughts and experiences stimulate the growth of nerve connections in your brain. Negativity and depression kills brain cells, neurons, and nerve connections.

So, falling in and out of love too fast leads to constant depression and kills your brain cells. It also can lead to PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD is a side effect of a traumatic event. Getting your heart broken over and over is traumatic, it cuts deep, and causes pain that can TAKE YEARS to go away.

7. It Communicates Immaturity

falling in love too fast immature

When approaching any kind of relationship, it’s mature to view it from different angles and proceed with caution. It’s immature to jump head first into something that can affect your life negatively if it doesn’t work out.

Too many of us go all-in without thinking about what we’re doing and it ends horribly.

The mature thing to do is to look at the pros and cons of the situation, give it heavy thought, and take it one single step at a time.

8. It Makes You Needy and Clingy

clingy guy in love

Rather than “needing” to be in love or attached to women, it’s better to be happy with being single and pickier in who you date and get into a relationship with.

Neediness takes your attention and focus away from reaching goals and improving yourself and places it all on being in love and having a relationship.

Being more concerned with “love” than becoming the best you can be is a big red flag and a sign that you should take a step back from it and reassess your life, situation, and priorities.

9. Falling In Love Too Fast Makes Your Life Chaotic

You need peace and stability in your life and the ups and downs of always falling in love too fast takes away from it.

Falling in love to fast and jumping from one relationship to another leads to constant chaos, drama, sadness, worry, stress, and a lack of balance. You may be able to handle the storms for a while, but, over time, it ruins your happiness and peace of mind and drives you crazy.

In order to be the man women actually want, you must mitigate the chaos.

10. It Makes You a Weak-Minded Person

In the eBook and Audiobook How to Quit Being a Loser With Women, there’s a part called Learn To Be Happy and Single First.

If you aren’t content being single and believe being in one relationship after another increases the amount of happiness you feel, you’re weak.

You’re worthless to women.

If your life sucks because you don’t have a girlfriend, you’re bringing that “weakness” into your relationships and it’s contributing to its failure.

BUT, if you get your life together FIRST before getting attached and falling in love, you’re entering the relationship with a strong mindset and it’s more likely to work out. She’s much more likely to be happier with you.

Invest the time and energy learning how to be happy ON YOUR OWN, first, before jumping into relationships.

The Exception

falling in love too fast when its ok

If you’re using love to fill a “void” or if you’re addicted to falling in love then, yes, it’s a weak, terrible, and stupid thing to do.

But, if you, coincidentally, fall in love sooner than expected, you’re not desperate, you’re not trying to fill a “void”, you’re not being needy, it isn’t something you do often, and it’s 100% genuine, then go for it! We only live once. Enjoy your life.


It’s smart to take your time not rush into love and relationships too often.

If she’s moving too fast, SLOW HER DOWN.

Thanks for reading,

– Marc Summers

4 Dangerous Reasons Not to Fall in Love Too Fast by Matthew Hussey

how to quit being a loser with women

Share this article with friends

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on reddit
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on email

1 Comment on “10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Fall in Love Too Fast

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Hi, I'm Marc Summers

marc summers of major league dating

I used to suck big time with women, dating, and relationships even though I was nicer than other guys, tried my hardest, and followed all of the dating advice. The women I landed, unsurprisingly, weren’t very picky or hard to get and I regularly got cheated on and dumped. Despite being the nice, generous, thoughtful, and loving guy I thought women wanted, once they got to know me, the attraction disappeared.

The day my girlfriend left me for her ex 30 minutes after hearing he got out jail was the day I decided to get serious, figure out EXACTLY what I was doing wrong, and make some changes.

The next 5 years of my life were spent focusing only on studying psychology, human behavior, effective communication, and leadership, and meeting and dating one woman after another to test out and fine tune what I was learning.

You know what became obvious very quickly?

Your dating and relationship problems have nothing to do with the women and have everything to do with your mindset, behavior, habits, and decisions.

Once you figure out what’s wrong and fix the problems in each one of these areas, your dating life will become easier, less stressful, and more rewarding. 

To share the powerful information I learned and make you better with women, dating, and relationships, I’ve written multiple best-selling books and have helped over 1-million men get better results. No matter how screwed up and hopeless your situation seems right now, I can help you improve it.

Helpful Books & Services

dating and relationship advice for men

Dating and Relationship Coaching – via Phone, FaceTime, Skype, Duo, or WhatsApp

masters kit

The Master’s Kit – 25% off ALL eBooks & Audiobooks

woocommerce product how to quit being a loser with women ebook and audiobook

How to Quit Being a Loser with Women – Everything you’re doing wrong and how to fix it

woocommerce how attracting women really works ebook and audiobook

How Attracting Women Really Works 2nd Edition – What to think, do, and say to make women want you as more than just a friend

woocommerce product declare war on yourself ebook and audiobook

Declare War on Yourself – Boost self-esteem and confidence. Become more mature. Attract higher-quality women.

woocommerce product 99 bad boy traits ebook and audiobook

99 Bad Boy Traits – How to quit scaring away with nice behavior

woocommerce product 72 ways to get her back ebook and audiobook

72 Ways to Get Her Back – How to rebuild the attraction and get her back for good

woocommerce product texting titan ebook and audiobook

Texting Titan! – Proven strategies for texting women and creating attraction through text


Top Advice

Happy Customers


Hi Marc, thank you, thank you and thank you. Now i know why I was so terrible with women; I am what you describe as a nice guy. I am always trying to please everybody and feel valuable to all. I'm always smiling and trying too hard to always being a nice guy. I bought your Audiobook and loved it. Now I have to incorporate all that I have learned from your book in my state of mind, little by little. I'm not interested in being with women because I'm married. However, in my job I am implementing the bad boy state of mind to succeed in business. Thank you once again for opening my eyes and teaching me what I was doing wrong.


You have been quite possibly my favorite teacher in my life. I wish there was a way to repay you. Thank you very much for following your purposes.

Rainer O.

It really help me to recover, to be true patient is the key issue.


I’ve read a lot of pickup stuff online and you’re one of the only coaches who gives real applicable advice. Thanks for the help

CharlesFull on, no holds barred common sense.

Loved it. Committing that when I finished, that I would go back to the start. Along the lines of TS Eliot's famous line, 'We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time'. I have strongly recommended to my three adult sons that they listen to this. It's the type of book that your wished you got when you were twenty.


I learned so much about the nice guy and bad boy traits and how I have always thought being the night in shining armor would get me the results. I am 30 now and I have been trying to do the same boring lame approaches, date settings, and other non-sense expecting the same results. No wonder I sucked with women, no one ever taught me and I just thought it was something that I would just pick up naturally. WRONG!!!!

After reading Nice Guys vs. Bad Boys, I seen a girl sitting on a bench outside of where I work. I approached her and asked her name, told her mine and said, “I am going to be forward with you to not waste time, let have lunch tomorrow.” She gave me a shocked look and I just pulled out my phone and said, what is your number. She literally gave it to me, we went to lunch the next day, and I was just calm, collected, and asking her questions and getting her talking. Since then she has been blowing up my phone with text messages and I rarely reply to her it is crazy.

I know what I was doing in the past has not been working so I am working on myself, my goals, dreams and ambitions, and then woman. That is like the last priority in my life. I am also watching the desperation of nice guys around me and just scratching my head as to why and how I use to be like that. I will definitely share you site with them if they are willing to be helped, but sometimes it is hard to unplug someone from the matrix.

Words can not express how thankful I am that I have found this material, I see so many dating advice sites and books, but a lot of them were just not for me. Yours really spoke out to me.

Small steps to one big goal. Thanks Marc.


Marc, you need to be charging 5 times as much because what you teach is pure gold. I got so much more than I expected to and I will definitely be a customer for a very long time. You explain things so simple and the things I’ve been trying to understand for the last 10 years suddenly made perfect sense. I have studied ALL the dating experts and followed them over the last 10 years and you are by far the best I’ve come across. I also love that you don’t teach this BS pickup artist stuff that doesn’t work. All the BS goes out the window and you are straight to the point.


YOU ARE MY HERO!! This is my new beginning. All your advice has been helping me, and I’m about to drop my 2-year-sick-relationship, after understanding the importance of all you just said. Now I Know it’s a process but I’m really committed to this more than ever. I’ll be serious on myself, no more junk in my head, knowing how to handle drama, never ever bitching again, keeping my composure, controlling my feelings, and being a real man!! I don’t know how to express my gratitude


Thanks bro. I must confess, you’re a great writer. I mean your tips really seem like you’re talking to me in person and not like any ordinary website. Keep up the good work!


Thank you so much! It is a great read. I finally believe it is something I can use to finally stop doing what I know I should not be doing and help me reach the goals that I have always wanted to achieve. There is nothing like this out there and I am glad that I found you. God bless!

Will D.

Good information and coming from a nice guy with some inherent bad boy traits, it helped me to clarify the differences and to point out a lot of of mistakes I was making but wasn’t fully aware of. The information is applicable to life, personal, business, friendships, relationships, etc. take out of it what works for you.


Declare War on Yourself is my new bible. Each page is impactful and a catalyst for changing behavior. It does not contain any rah rah motivation talk, nor tear-jerking inspiration stories. Just plain battlefield success principles.


You are full of good information. Coming from a nice guy, you have helped me clarify the differences and mistakes I have been making but wasn’t fully aware of. This information is applicable to life, personal, business, friendships, relationships, etc. Take out of it what works for you.


Awesome book Im glad I came across this. This will help me to overcome this nasty habit. I’m on my way to a great lifestyle thanks to this book thank you.


I like what you teach because it is direct and it works. I feel like your advice was created just for me.


Hey Marc, thanks for the eBook. It is amazing. You say it as it is.


“I read the first chapter and I was hooked. Because of this book, Declare War on Yourself, my life is truly going in the right direction in all aspects. It has been awakening and your personal letter hit me the most.”


Marc, I cannot thank you enough, nor can say enough about your work being head and shoulders above the other information out there. I have been struggling with this so long, I look forward to this new chapter in my life.


Thanks for the tips…really helpful..been a regular reader since I subscribed..looking forward to reading more.

Mike L.

Marc, For what it’s worth, I’m a customer and a big fan. Your common sense, non-hype advice is on the mark every time. It gives much needed perspective. Thank you.