I’m Usually Against Pick Up Lines
I’ve always taught not to take pick up lines too seriously and never use them as a serious attempt to “wow” a woman you just met.
I see them more as jokes and you should too.
A lot of Pick Up Lines Are Really Dumb
I went through about 1000 pick up lines just to pick out these 44 that I thought were the best and funniest.
They may seem funny to someone who doesn’t have a well-developed sense of humor, but to us guys who have a little experience with women, these are pretty damn good and funny.
Pick Up Lines Can Make You Fun If You’re Joking Around and Not Being Serious
When you already know a woman and you just want to goof off to make her laugh, I recommend laying some of these on her to get her laughing pretty hard.
She’ll usually say something like, “Where do you come up with this stuff?!” while she’s having a good laugh.
When she knows you’re not serious whatsoever, it’ll communicate to her that you “get it” and you understand a little bit about women and attraction.
I personally like to pretend I don’t know her at all and I’ll walk up, give her a dumb look, and in an exaggerated voice, like I’m trying to be smooth or cool, I’ll lay some of these ridiculous pickup lines on her.
This takes the tension out of the air, makes the interaction playful, and allows the both of you to laugh and have a good time.
It’ll also help her to see you as a fun, funny, witty, and the type of guy she likes.
These Pick Up Lines Are For Entertainment Purposes ONLY
Like I said, use these to have fun and to make her laugh.
If you’re ballsy and just want to have a good laugh at your own expense, then feel free to walk up to groups of women and throw these out there.
They’ll have a good laugh because they’ll figure out pretty quick that you can’t be completely serious.
45 Funny Pick Up Lines that Actually Work to Make Women Laugh
- Did you get those pants on sale? Cause they’re 100% off at my place.
- Baby, I’m no weather man but I’m predicting you can expect a few inches tonight.
- Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.
- My magic watch says you don’t have any underwear on. Oh you do? It must be 15 minutes fast.
- I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt.
- Know why they call me Charmin? Because I’ll get in that ass.
- You smell like trash. Can I take you out?
- You remind me of my pinky toe. You’re small, cute, and I’m probably going to bang you on my coffee table tonight.
- I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
- Your body is 65% water and I’m pretty damn thirsty.
- Did you know I named my package “the truth”? It’s because women can’t handle it.
- Know what my shirt is made of? It’s boyfriend material.
- Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
- Damn my legs hurt. I must be running through your mind.
- You have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!
- You believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?
- If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
- What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
- If I was a skateboard I’d grind you all night.
- I’d offer you a cigarette, but you’re already smoking hot.
- Your dad must be a terrorist because baby, you’re the bomb.
- They call me Titanic cause I’ll go down on you.
- You from Japan? Cause I’m tryin’ to get in Japanties.
- Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.
- We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You’re hot and I want to be on top of you.
- Good thing I brought my library card because I’m checking you out.
- If you were a fruit, you’d be a FINEapple.
- I want to do to your body what Congress is doing to government employees.
- You’re so hot my pants are falling for you.
- Are you a termite? Cause you’re about to have a mouthful of wood.
- I’m not Asian but I’ll still eat your cat.
- I’m a like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
- I hope you have a boyfriend because we need someone to make us breakfast in the morning.
- You must not have studied because I’m about to give you the D.
- I would tell you a joke about my wiener but it’s too long.
- You’re so hot that if you ate bread, you’d poop out toast.
- If we were squirrels, would you help me bust a nut?
- You have something on your butt. Oh sorry, it’s just my eyes.
- You must be a snooze button because I wanna tap you over and over.
- I’m no organ donor but I’d happily give you my heart.
- If you were a burger joint I’d eat you in and out.
- Is your dad Little Caesar’s because you’re hot and ready.
- You’re so hot you’re going to make my air-conditioning bill go up.
- You good at algebra? Will you replace my X without asking Y?
- If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot because I’d always miss you.
This Stuff Is Magic When Used in the Right Context
Like I said before, when I want to “play flirt”, act like an idiot, and make her laugh pretty hard, I’ll pull a bunch of these out and give them to her one after the other.
Then I’ll go back to acting like nothing happened.
As long as you’re having fun with it and you’re not using these pickup lines as a serious attempt to get women to think you’re cool, then you’re good to go.
Thanks for reading,
– Marc Summers