44 funny pick up lines that make women laugh

44 Funny Pick Up Lines to That Make Women Laugh

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how to quit being a loser with women


I’m Usually Against Pick Up Lines

I’ve always taught not to take pick up lines too seriously and never use them as a serious attempt to “wow” a woman you just met.

I see them more as jokes and you should too.

A lot of Pick Up Lines Are Really Dumb

I literally combed over about 1000 pick up lines just to pick out these 44 that I thought were the best and funniest.

They may seem funny to someone who doesn’t have a well-developed sense of humor, but to us guys who have a little experience with women, these are pretty damn good and funny.

Pick Up Lines Can Make You Fun If You’re Joking Around and Not Being Serious

When you already know a woman and you just want to goof off to make her laugh, I recommend laying some of these on her to get her laughing pretty hard.

She’ll usually say something like, “Where do you come up with this stuff?!” while she’s having a good laugh.

When she knows you’re not serious whatsoever, it’ll communicate to her that you “get it” and you understand a little bit about women and attraction.

I personally like to pretend I don’t know her at all and I’ll walk up, give her a dumb look, and in an exaggerated voice, like I’m trying to be smooth or cool, I’ll lay some of these ridiculous pickup lines on her.

This takes the tension out of the air, makes the interaction playful, and allows the both of you to laugh and have a good time.

It’ll also help her to see you as a fun, funny, witty, and the type of guy she likes.

These Pick Up Lines Are For Entertainment Purposes ONLY

Like I said, use these to have fun and to make her laugh.

If you’re ballsy and just want to have a good laugh at your own expense, then feel free to walk up to groups of women and throw these out there.

They’ll have a good laugh because they’ll figure out pretty quick that you can’t be completely serious.

44 Really Funny Pick Up Lines

  1. Did you get those pants on sale? Cause they’re 100% off at my place.
  2. Baby, I’m no weather man but I’m predicting you can expect a few inches tonight.
  3. Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.
  4. My magic watch says you don’t have any underwear on. Oh you do? It must be 15 minutes fast.
  5. I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt.
  6. Know why they call me Charmin? Because I’ll get in that ass.
  7. You smell like trash. Can I take you out?
  8. You remind me of my pinky toe. You’re small, cute, and I’m probably going to bang you on my coffee table tonight.
  9. I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
  10. Your body is 65% water and I’m pretty damn thirsty.
  11. Did you know I named my package “the truth”? It’s because women can’t handle it.
  12. Know what my shirt is made of? It’s boyfriend material.
  13. Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
  14. Damn my legs hurt. I must be running through your mind.
  15. You have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!
  16. You believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
  17. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
  18. If I was a skateboard I’d grind you all night.
  19. I’d offer you a cigarette, but you’re already smoking hot.
  20. Your dad must be a terrorist because baby, you’re the bomb.
  21. They call me Titanic cause I’ll go down on you.
  22. You from Japan? Cause I’m tryin’ to get in Japanties.
  23. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.
  24. We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You’re hot and I want to be on top of you.
  25. Good thing I brought my library card because I’m checking you out.
  26. If you were a fruit, you’d be a FINEapple.
  27. I want to do to your body what Congress is doing to government employees.
  28. You’re so hot my pants are falling for you.
  29. Are you a termite? Cause you’re about to have a mouthful of wood.
  30. I’m not Asian but I’ll still eat your cat.
  31. I’m a like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
  32. I hope you have a boyfriend because we need someone to make us breakfast in the morning.
  33. You must not have studied because I’m about to give you the D.
  34. I would tell you a joke about my wiener but it’s too long.
  35. You’re so hot that if you ate bread, you’d poop out toast.
  36. If we were squirrels, would you help me bust a nut?
  37. You have something on your butt. Oh sorry, it’s just my eyes.
  38. You must be a snooze button because I wanna tap you over and over.
  39. I’m no organ donor but I’d happily give you my heart.
  40. If you were a burger joint I’d eat you in and out.
  41. Is your dad Little Caesar’s because you’re hot and ready.
  42. You’re so hot you’re going to make my air-conditioning bill go up.
  43. You good at algebra? Will you replace my X without asking Y?
  44. If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot because I’d always miss you.

This Stuff Is Magic When Used in the Right Context

Like I said before, when I want to “play flirt”, act like an idiot, and make her laugh pretty hard, I’ll pull a bunch of these out and give them to her one after the other.

Then I’ll go back to acting like nothing happened.

As long as you’re having fun with it and you’re not using these pickup lines as a serious attempt to get women to think you’re cool, then you’re good to go.

Thanks for reading,

– Marc Summers

Guy Approaching Random Women With Pick Up Lines


how to quit being a loser with women


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Hi, I'm Marc

marc summers of major league dating
I sucked at attracting women. I made all of the mistakes, tried everything from TV, and did what I actually thought attracted women. The women I DID date were always below my standards and I usually got cheated on or dumped before I even knew what was happening. Despite being the nice, generous, and loving guy I thought women wanted, they simply didn’t feel attraction for me and I was miserable.

The last straw was when my girlfriend left me for her ex that just got out jail. It took her 15 minutes from the time she received the call to pack her bags and leave. I was so lame that I even helped her carry her bags to the taxi! That was when I knew I had to make big changes if I wanted to avoid ever feeling like that again. That was the day I decided to figure out and learn what actually attracts women and makes them want to be in your life.

Since then, I’ve written multiple best-selling books on attracting women and have helped countless men get instant results with women using what I teach. No matter how screwed up and hopeless your situation seems right now, I guarantee you I can help you make it better.

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J. David Love

Great read for us NICE GUYS!” It’s the gospel truth. Broken down very well. The cure for male pattern bitchness, umm….nice guy behavior.

Tyson

Marc, Man, I’ve read/heard/viewed lots of dating advice over the years. I’ve never been interested in quick pick-up strategies just to get laid. I wanted to understand how to attract women and to better understand what makes them tick. NOTHING has ever given me the “code-cracking” feel like your “How to Quit Being a Loser…” and “How Attracting Women Really Works” pieces do. I was pretty floored after hearing them. I listened to the “Attracting Women…” piece as soon as I got it, and the “Loser…” one on the way to a festival last weekend. I didn’t even completely finish it on the outbound trip, yet I saw instant results when interacting with women there. I also saw some pretty unbelievable results after finishing it when traveling back home and subsequently talking with some women I was already interested in. Their demeanor totally changed. I was getting a lot more playful interaction, and even photos (nothing sexual, but enough to make it clear that they weren’t bored). I even jumped right into some playful sex talk by turning a couple innocent messages of theirs into innuendos, then “scolded” them for it. They seemed to respond pretty well to it. It’s as if they could tell over text messaging that I didn’t care what their response was. An unexpected plus was that the feeling of not caring actually felt good. That anxiety that always comes with response-based thinking was gone. It was pretty liberating. I felt the temptation to attach the possible outcome to the playful sexual messages come up and quickly blasted it away, telling myself, “Whatever. This is funny. If she doesn’t like it, she’s missing out on some fun. Her loss.” It seemed like the women could tell the messages were coming from that place and they had fun with it too. Of course it’ll take some time to really perfect this stuff, but it became instantly apparent that this is the way to attract women and to keep them engaged and interested. And the great thing is that it’s a new way of being that makes sense, not some lame bag of manipulative tricks. I’ll bet tons of women read/hear your stuff and love it. One of my closest “wing-men” is actually an off-limits female (married to a friend I’ve had since high school). She told me once that I should tease women in a cocky way more often (her example being that I should say things like, “I know how hard it is to control yourself when thinking about me”). I saw how it could be funny, but I never really understood at the higher macro level until reading/hearing your stuff why and how that sort of banter should be used. For that, Marc, I’m grateful. Just now ordered your “99 Bad Boy Traits” book. Looking forward to that stuff too. Keep it up, Marc! I’ll be sharing your website and YouTube page with guys I know who struggle with this stuff too.

Mark

Bro! I have two of your audio books Declare War on Yourself and How to Quit Being a Loser With Women. Both have significantly changed my life. Your advice in How to Quit Being a Loser with Women was 100% spot on. Last year my ex wife decided she wanted a divorce and I spent a long time being depressed and feeling like a piece of shit. After about 6 months I finally decided enough was enough and I needed to change my life. Your audio book Declare War on Yourself came across my Facebook feed and I was hooked just from the title. It worked magic in my life. I must have listened to it 5 or 6 times. Which eventually led me to want to learn more from you. My dating life had been damn near non existent. I would continually get first dates but NEVER a second date. I am a pretty good looking guy, in great shape (I seriously work out almost everyday) I took your advice on hygiene, grooming and dressing but could not understand why I couldn't get a second date. Then I figured if you could help me fix myself than surely you could help me fix my dating life. So I gave it a try and downloaded How to Quit Being a Loser to Women. So after listening two or three times I felt I was ready. I have had a crush on the woman that cuts my hair for the past several months. I'm 36 and she's 27. She's a total smoke show and way out of my league. With the advice you gave in that book it help give me the confidence I needed. At first I gave her my phone number but she didn't call. Two weeks went by and I needed to get my haircut again and I just figured "fuck it, I'm gonna ask for her phone number, the worst case scenario I have to find a new hair stylist". So I asked her and she gave me her number. I took your advice and waited about 3 days. I contacted her and came up with a date idea that would be fun and different from everything she'd done before. We went to one of those places where you drink wine and paint a picture. I couldn't believe it, she said yes. Then for the next few days I kept it cool, didn't text too much, didn't talk about myself too much, just pretty much everything you would suggest. Then we go out and we have an awesome time. She asks me "what made you pick a wine and paint night?" and I said "I just wanted to do something different from all of the other guys that ask you out." she was impressed. Anyways, I finally get my second date with a woman who is extremely hotter than all of the other women who turned me down for a second date. So we went on our second date last night. She takes me to "her spot" which is this parking lot by the airport where planes fly over head taking off and landing. We share a bottle of wine and dance and we start talking about what we like about each other. She went onto say "I thought about it later and I was like, this dude has some balls to ask for my number after giving me his...and confidence and the way you carry yourself with authority is very attractive." She said a man could be completely ugly but if he has confidence and authority he is way hotter than any good looking guy. But then her next statement absolutely blew me away and it is the reason I am writing to you. She said "yeah, then I gave you my number and you waited like 3 days to text....what the hell were you doing for 3 days? like honestly it added some mystery to you. I couldn't understand why you waited that long." and I told her "Well I mean I was busy I had a bunch of stuff going on that weekend and I got a little distracted and I mean I didn't want to come off as desperate or needy haha". Then she says "There are guys I've given my number to that will text me as soon as they walk out of the door and that's a total turn off. If you would have done that I probably wouldn't have gone out with you".

Stephen

This book is awesome. It really helped me being out and capitalize on the “Bad Boy” Traits I already had. I highly recommend this book.

Michael S.

Mr. Summers. First and foremost I would like to say that your books, especially your the 99 Bad Boy Traits one, have impacted my life tremendously and have helped me throughout myself in my young adulthood. Your eBooks and the information you provide through the research example, quotes, and personal experiences have made my route a little smoother.

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