10 Ways to Be Different

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how to quit being a loser with women


We All Want to Be the Guy Women See As Different

One of our biggest concerns today, especially with social media, is standing out and looking different. We want women to think we’re better than any other guy they’ve ever met and we believe showing them we’re “different” makes us more attractive than the rest – but how often does this really work? Being TOO different or different in the wrong ways usually backfires.

Showing women you’re different isn’t showing off and bragging. It isn’t flashing money, driving an expensive car or truck, showing off your house, wearing expensive clothes, buying women drinks, acting tough, acting cool and tough, etc. It’s also not sucking up, being overly nice, buying gifts and flowers, taking women on expensive dates, convincing them to like you, and trying to win their friends over.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean there aren’t ways to make yourself “stand out” and have women see you as “different” and more attractive.

If you want to be different from most men, you must have a different MINDSET.

With a different mindset, women naturally tell you things like, “you’re so different from the rest of the guys I meet… in a good way. It’s refreshing.” After talking to you for 3 minutes, because of your different mindset, women notice something “different” about the way you look at her, respond, walk, talk, and carry yourself.

Follow these 10 steps and you’ll be on your way to having that different mindset that sets you apart from other men.

1. Stop Caring So Much What Women Think

how to be different stop caring what she thinks

Not caring too much what women think helps you out MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

Throughout the eBook and Audiobook How to Quit Being a Loser With Women, the theme of “stop caring what she thinks” comes up over and over again.

You probably have a friend, co-worker, or family member that doesn’t care what anyone thinks and their personality probably DRAWS YOU IN and makes you want to be around them. Do you think it’s any different with women? It’s not. Women are DRAWN IN and magnetically attracted to men who don’t care what what others think of them.

Normally, we think, “If I show her that I care and I’m really nice, she’ll like me more. If I don’t care at all, she’ll think I’m an asshole and she won’t like me as much.” But it doesn’t work this way. IT’S THE OPPOSITE!

When you stop caring, you’ll be happier and a TON of weight will feel like it’s been lifted off of your shoulders. Your, “How do I make her think I’m a nice guy?” mindset vanishes.

So, stop caring so much what women think and you’ll notice them responding to and behaving around you differently.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “What people think of me or say about me is none of my business.”

Develop the same mindset.

2. Stop Seeking Women’s Approval

Women are sick of men seeking approval. Deep down, they don’t like or appreciate men kissing their ass, bowing down to them, worshipping them, and putting them on a pedestal.

Imagine if you were a hot woman and had 90 men A DAY seeking your approval and putting you on a pedestal – you would quickly become annoyed. They DON’T WANT to be put on the pedestal so many men place them on.

So, when you try treating her like she’s special in order to make yourself look different, all she’s thinking is, “Here’s another lame guy trying too hard to get my attention…”

Instead, hang out with her, have fun, and treat her as an equal. Not above you and not below you.

3. Stop Making Women the Center of Your Life and Attention

When most guys meet an awesome girl that they really like, they get overly excited and make everything about her. They forget everything they had going on before and change their whole life to make her the center of their focus. They smother her, call and text her too much, and always want to include her in every single thing they do.

Women are tired of meeting men who do this.

Women don’t want:

  • To be the center of your life, focus, and attention. They want you to have a life, do your own thing, and to make them PART of it.
  • You constantly begging them to tag along so you can show them off like a trophy. Once in a while, they want you to go out fun WITHOUT THEM.
  • You calling and texting all of the time. They want you to give them room to miss you, think about you, and wonder about you.
  • To be put on a pedestal and worshipped. They want you to value YOURSELF and respect YOURSELF as much as you value and respect women.
  • Become balanced. Make women PART of your life instead of making every single thing you do about them.

    4. Control Your Thoughts, Reactions, and Emotions

    control your emotions

    Women are finding it harder and harder to meet mature men who have their act together and their mind in the right place.

    Since we’re spending too much time on social media and watching reality TV, our mind’s are becoming programmed to believe it’s normal to always be teary eyed, bitching, complaining, and acting like a wuss about everything in our lives.

    Most of us haven’t mastered our emotions and we’re out-of-control of how we think, feel, respond, and behave.

    This is how more and more men are behaving when they don’t get their way with women or life. Instead of keeping it together, they’re freaking out and losing it. Think women are attracted to this?

    When you’re feeling overly emotional and “bothered”, take a time out. Step back, detach from the situation, and get yourself together. Not everything requires a reaction. Controlling yourself and your emotions helps you to appear, and be, more in control of yourself instead of looking like an emotional crybaby.

    5. Be Authentically Positive

    Being positive doesn’t mean you have to be fake or annoying. It just means that when you want to be negative or a downer, you can decide to keep your mouth shut or put a positive spin on the situation.

    You don’t have to put on a fake smile or act. You don’t have to constantly post positive and annoying things on social media. Just adjust your mindset to focus on the “good” in every situation instead of the bad.

    Jocko Willink, former Navy SEAL commander, says “GOOD” to EVERYTHING. He says, “One of my direct subordinates, one of my guys that worked for me, he would call me up or pull me aside with some major problems, some issue that was going on, and he’d say, ‘Boss we got this and that and the other thing’ and I’d look at him and I’d say, ‘GOOD’. And finally, one day he was telling me about some issue he was having, some problem and he said, ‘I already know what you’re going to say. You’re gonna say ‘GOOD”. He said, ‘That’s what you always say. When something is wrong and going bad, you always just look at me and say ‘GOOD”. And I said, ‘Yea. When things are going bad, there’s going to be some good that’s going to come from it.'”

    Here is Jocko explaining it:

    6. Be Brutally Honest Instead of Manipulative and Dishonest

    Women think a lot of today’s men are untrustworthy and full of shit because MANY OF THEM ARE. They lie, manipulate, and bend the truth to get women’s attention and approval.

    Become the opposite. Tell the truth even if it puts you in a bad position. It’s better to tell the truth have women hate you for it than to lie and gain their approval.

    If you manipulate women and lie to them, they will do the same to you.

    What goes around comes around.

    Brad Blanton’s book Radical Honesty helps you become more honest in your thinking, behavior, and communication.

    7. Raise Your Standards and Expectations

    how to be different raise your standards

    Along with more men being out of control of their emotions, more men have lower standards than ever before. We are instant-gratification minded, lack patience, and have NO SELF-CONTROL. Our standards are becoming, practically, non-existent.

    High standards means you only settle for the best – the best mindset, attitude, behavior, results, and life. It means you don’t accept any BS from yourself. It also means you only settle for the best people in your life with the best behavior and attitude. You don’t accept women into your life who are dramatic, manipulative, and cause problems.

    Women have more respect for men with high standards and he definitely stands out. When women respect you, they’re more likely to feel attraction towards you.

    Raise your standards.

    Cut the crap, grow up, and raise the bar.

    8. Be A Leader – Not A Follower

    how to be different be a leader

    A lot of today’s men are having a big problem following instead of leading. They’re not thinking for themselves and they’re saying, doing, dressing, and driving what everyone else is because it’s “cool” and modern. But, here’s the thing – followers don’t THINK they’re followers. They think they’re being original and unique.

    Women notice when you’re following and living your life the way everyone else is. That’s why they prefer the quarterbacks, politicians, captains, bosses, lead singers, etc. These men are taking charge and leading. They’re making decisions. They’re making things happen.

    MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS. Quit doing what you see on TV and social media. Quit doing what all of the other guys are doing. Quit doing what you “think” women approve of.

    Be yourself, do what you want, and lead your own life.

    9. Keep Improving

    how to be different improve yourself

    Most men have the same thoughts, say the same things, repeat the same actions, feel the same feelings, believe the same beliefs, and have the same reactions until they die.

    They don’t grow, change, improve, and evolve.

    Be different than most guys. Push yourself to improve your time and become stronger, smarter, healthier, and BETTER. Learn new things. Do new things. Feel new things. Try new things. Fail at new things. Succeed at new things.

    NEVER STOP IMPROVING.

    There is no limit to how much you can improve.

    EVERY PERSON on this earth can use some help and improve in one area or another.

    Want to improve your dating life? Download these eBooks & Audiobooks.

    10. Educate Yourself More Than Other Men on Women and Dating

    It doesn’t take most women long to figure out that most men don’t know exactly what they’re doing with women and dating. They don’t want to take you by the hand and show you the ropes. They want you to already know what you’re doing so you two can hit it off and have a great time.

    An education on women and dating gets you awesome and consistent results with the women you like.

    Learn everything you can.

    In Conclusion

    Being different from other men isn’t showing off and bragging about who you are, what you have, and what you can do. It’s having a different mindset and outlook that affects the way you interact with women.

    If you get these 10 things down and follow them, you’ll notice that women will see you as different from other men.

    Thanks for reading,

    – Marc Summers


    how to quit being a loser with women


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    5 Comments on “10 Ways to Be Different

    1. Yeah you could follow this advice and run yourself rampant trying to ‘improve’ yourself to get a date, which means you are still seeking approval, but…whatever.

      Just be yourself or at the very least treat females like human beings. And what are human beings, but malleable and almost impossible to predict.

    2. You’ve got to make the best of what you have. You’ve got to make the best of a bad situation.

      Looks do matter very much to a woman regardless of what they say. It’s commonly accepted that women are drawn more towards a man’s personality and status – but nothing could be further from the truth.

      Am I to believe that a woman is going to find ‘Joe beer pack’ with a big swollen beer belly overhanging his belt buckle with a double chin and yellowish teeth – attractive? Imagine ‘Joe beer pack’ has a fantastic personality – is a woman honestly going to overlook his physical appearance and love him for who he is? I think not.

      More than likely she will look at him and think ‘what a gross fat fucker’. She would never admit to this – but deep down that’s what she’s thinking. No self-respecting women would want to fuck ‘Joe beer pack’ because of his physical appearance. LOOKS DO MATTER IN REALITY.

      If your ugly Allen, you’re fucked. Men and women are visual creatures before anything else. The first thing we notice is the face and if it’s an ugly one – you’re completely fucked in every way possible.

      But there things you can do to improve an otherwise depressing and miserable situation. Improve your grooming, work out 5 times a week down the gym. Get lean and add some muscle. Do plenty of cardio and lose weight. These basic things can work wonders if you stick to them.

      As I said, it’s making the best of a shitty situation ultimately. Forget confidence. If you’re ugly – there’s no amount of confidence that’s going to make up for it. If you’re fat, there’s no amount of confidence that’s going to alter that situation.

      Everything is self-improvement. Sweating it out down the gym and making your body more visually appealing is definitely a good thing. It you’re ugly Allen – a nice body will serve as a positive distraction from the crappy face.

    3. Allen don’t talk ugly to yourself…. Look I’m a good looking guy in great shape I workout 3 days per week,but I don’t do well with girls,actually women do run away from me because I haven’t mentally improved myself,on the other hand one of my friends is in bad shape (skinny) but he dates extremely beautiful women that most men dream of,and It really messed with my head until I came to this site and understood the way it worked that.Just purchase one of Marc’s ebooks I guarantee you they will help you become the most attractive man in the room.I purchased one and every single day I’m working on myself mentally.

    4. I never get signs from any woman of any type whatsoever – they never acknowledge my existence at all. Every other guy (and I mean every other guy) is incomparably more attractive than me no matter what I look like, do or say. I am the most unattractive man possible, and nothing I could ever do could change this. This is not to do with confidence, it’s simple fact – as such I never talk to women – why bother?

      The only thing I *know* is that there is no way I’ll ever get any woman to even talk to me. Other guys get girlfriends, dates, etc., because they are attractive to somebody out there. I am of zero interest to any woman and this is a fact that can’t be changed. It’s hard to accept that nobody will ever want me, but no matter what I do, I’ll never be able to compete successfully for a woman’s interest against any other guy because every other guy is more attractive than me.

      • Allen, don’t put yourself down, I think of myself the same way you think of yourself, I can’t get anywhere with a girl, but I never give up, I research what they share on social media, creepy I know, but it helps me when it comes to everyday conversation with a girl. I made the mistake of jacking off in class in 8th grade, that was three years ago and paid the price for it, but I never stopped trying to get somewhere with a girl I like, even if I am shy and scared, but you’re not alone.

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    Hi, I'm Marc Summers

    marc summers of major league dating

    I used to suck big time with women, dating, and relationships even though I was nicer than other guys, tried my hardest, and followed all of the dating advice. The women I landed, unsurprisingly, weren’t very picky or hard to get and I regularly got cheated on and dumped. Despite being the nice, generous, thoughtful, and loving guy I thought women wanted, once they got to know me, the attraction disappeared.

    The day my girlfriend left me for her ex 30 minutes after hearing he got out jail was the day I decided to get serious, figure out EXACTLY what I was doing wrong, and make some changes.

    The next 5 years of my life were spent focusing only on studying psychology, human behavior, effective communication, and leadership, and meeting and dating one woman after another to test out and fine tune what I was learning.

    You know what became obvious very quickly?

    Your dating and relationship problems have nothing to do with the women and have everything to do with your mindset, behavior, habits, and decisions.

    Once you figure out what’s wrong and fix the problems in each one of these areas, your dating life will become easier, less stressful, and more rewarding. 

    To share the powerful information I learned and make you better with women, dating, and relationships, I’ve written multiple best-selling books and have helped over 1-million men get better results. No matter how screwed up and hopeless your situation seems right now, I can help you improve it.

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    Abdil

    I love this book it has a lot of gems to help you become the man you need to be. Most men are feminized today by our society and we need to get back to our alpha state. We must protect our confidence and our Balls. Be true to yourself and everything else is secondary.

    Tyson

    Marc, Man, I’ve read/heard/viewed lots of dating advice over the years. I’ve never been interested in quick pick-up strategies just to get laid. I wanted to understand how to attract women and to better understand what makes them tick. NOTHING has ever given me the “code-cracking” feel like your “How to Quit Being a Loser…” and “How Attracting Women Really Works” pieces do. I was pretty floored after hearing them. I listened to the “Attracting Women…” piece as soon as I got it, and the “Loser…” one on the way to a festival last weekend. I didn’t even completely finish it on the outbound trip, yet I saw instant results when interacting with women there. I also saw some pretty unbelievable results after finishing it when traveling back home and subsequently talking with some women I was already interested in. Their demeanor totally changed. I was getting a lot more playful interaction, and even photos (nothing sexual, but enough to make it clear that they weren’t bored). I even jumped right into some playful sex talk by turning a couple innocent messages of theirs into innuendos, then “scolded” them for it. They seemed to respond pretty well to it. It’s as if they could tell over text messaging that I didn’t care what their response was. An unexpected plus was that the feeling of not caring actually felt good. That anxiety that always comes with response-based thinking was gone. It was pretty liberating. I felt the temptation to attach the possible outcome to the playful sexual messages come up and quickly blasted it away, telling myself, “Whatever. This is funny. If she doesn’t like it, she’s missing out on some fun. Her loss.” It seemed like the women could tell the messages were coming from that place and they had fun with it too. Of course it’ll take some time to really perfect this stuff, but it became instantly apparent that this is the way to attract women and to keep them engaged and interested. And the great thing is that it’s a new way of being that makes sense, not some lame bag of manipulative tricks. I’ll bet tons of women read/hear your stuff and love it. One of my closest “wing-men” is actually an off-limits female (married to a friend I’ve had since high school). She told me once that I should tease women in a cocky way more often (her example being that I should say things like, “I know how hard it is to control yourself when thinking about me”). I saw how it could be funny, but I never really understood at the higher macro level until reading/hearing your stuff why and how that sort of banter should be used. For that, Marc, I’m grateful. Just now ordered your “99 Bad Boy Traits” book. Looking forward to that stuff too. Keep it up, Marc! I’ll be sharing your website and YouTube page with guys I know who struggle with this stuff too.

    JZ

    Dude, you rock. I appreciate your perspective, the information, tips, the advice... It's all been a helpful tool for me.

    Anayo

    I have benefited immensely from your work. I have learned to be more confident, self-sufficient and have realized the mistakes I had made in my previous relationship.

    Drew

    Marc, Thanks so much for writing this. All I can say is “wow” these were great and many didn’t come to my mind. I know I am on the right track, and thank you again for sharing your plan and goals, they were so helpful, and can’t wait to see this addiction broken and gone.

    Mark

    Bro! I have two of your audio books Declare War on Yourself and How to Quit Being a Loser With Women. Both have significantly changed my life. Your advice in How to Quit Being a Loser with Women was 100% spot on. Last year my ex wife decided she wanted a divorce and I spent a long time being depressed and feeling like a piece of shit. After about 6 months I finally decided enough was enough and I needed to change my life. Your audio book Declare War on Yourself came across my Facebook feed and I was hooked just from the title. It worked magic in my life. I must have listened to it 5 or 6 times. Which eventually led me to want to learn more from you. My dating life had been damn near non existent. I would continually get first dates but NEVER a second date. I am a pretty good looking guy, in great shape (I seriously work out almost everyday) I took your advice on hygiene, grooming and dressing but could not understand why I couldn't get a second date. Then I figured if you could help me fix myself than surely you could help me fix my dating life. So I gave it a try and downloaded How to Quit Being a Loser to Women. So after listening two or three times I felt I was ready. I have had a crush on the woman that cuts my hair for the past several months. I'm 36 and she's 27. She's a total smoke show and way out of my league. With the advice you gave in that book it help give me the confidence I needed. At first I gave her my phone number but she didn't call. Two weeks went by and I needed to get my haircut again and I just figured "fuck it, I'm gonna ask for her phone number, the worst case scenario I have to find a new hair stylist". So I asked her and she gave me her number. I took your advice and waited about 3 days. I contacted her and came up with a date idea that would be fun and different from everything she'd done before. We went to one of those places where you drink wine and paint a picture. I couldn't believe it, she said yes. Then for the next few days I kept it cool, didn't text too much, didn't talk about myself too much, just pretty much everything you would suggest. Then we go out and we have an awesome time. She asks me "what made you pick a wine and paint night?" and I said "I just wanted to do something different from all of the other guys that ask you out." she was impressed. Anyways, I finally get my second date with a woman who is extremely hotter than all of the other women who turned me down for a second date. So we went on our second date last night. She takes me to "her spot" which is this parking lot by the airport where planes fly over head taking off and landing. We share a bottle of wine and dance and we start talking about what we like about each other. She went onto say "I thought about it later and I was like, this dude has some balls to ask for my number after giving me his...and confidence and the way you carry yourself with authority is very attractive." She said a man could be completely ugly but if he has confidence and authority he is way hotter than any good looking guy. But then her next statement absolutely blew me away and it is the reason I am writing to you. She said "yeah, then I gave you my number and you waited like 3 days to text....what the hell were you doing for 3 days? like honestly it added some mystery to you. I couldn't understand why you waited that long." and I told her "Well I mean I was busy I had a bunch of stuff going on that weekend and I got a little distracted and I mean I didn't want to come off as desperate or needy haha". Then she says "There are guys I've given my number to that will text me as soon as they walk out of the door and that's a total turn off. If you would have done that I probably wouldn't have gone out with you".

    Pete

    I’m not going to lie. SO much better than I expected. There are dozens of men teaching this stuff and I almost didn’t sign up for this. But I’m glad I took a shot at it. There’s a lot of intelligence behind what you say and teach. I think this is for guys in all sorts of different situations where they want to better themselves and how people respond to them. I highly, highly recommend it.

    Roger

    I did what you told me to stay cool and replying her message without neediness, after 3 days breaking up, she wants to be my girlfriend again, and we finally get together again. Thanks for that Marc.

    Delano

    GOLDMINE! Pure genius. If there was ever a book to teach men how to be men this is it. Character traits you need to improve each and every day. A must have for men growing and becoming stronger mentally.

    Jesse

    The information I have obtained from Major League Dating has changed my outlook on the opposite sex and given me insight on how to correct my own self-esteem issues. Thanks Marc! J.L.

    Jason
    Dude, your re - write of how attracting women really works, the first 1 you wrote was  a classic, but this one is life-changing! Well, first off  it's fucking amazing. Clarifies a lot thanks dude. Second, it's fucking dangerous in the wrong hands. Not, read all of it yet though,  had to turn my lap top off for a while. Had, so many light bulbs in my head switch on. Wont allow my woman to read this  she will fucking kill me.
    Michael S.

    Mr. Summers. First and foremost I would like to say that your books, especially your the 99 Bad Boy Traits one, have impacted my life tremendously and have helped me throughout myself in my young adulthood. Your eBooks and the information you provide through the research example, quotes, and personal experiences have made my route a little smoother.

    Vineet

    I would like to tell you that they have absolutely changed my life. The girl whom I liked but she didn’t like me has started to talk to me. I mean you were an angel to me, I now have personal priorities and goals sorted out. God must have sent you to me. I don’t know how can I thank you for being such a helpful person a mentor and a counselor.

    Mark

    I was skeptical at first, but to my surprise, this turned out to be GREAT. Marc explains in a great and precise way what is needed to become better with women you like and want to date. The thing is that becoming better at dating and women isn’t something you do for them, but for yourself. It’s a way of looking at the world and behaving in a way that will make YOU the happiest (and I can speak from experience). Women are very attracted to that and it’s an added bonus. Everything Marc teaches is clear, precise, and to the point. Highly recommended to any man, especially young men, for acquiring the right mindset. For the price, it’s a steal.

    Enrique

    Great book. Marc tells you what is right for you about this topic. Being a man, act accordingly the situation.

    Troy

    Marc, I cannot thank you enough, nor can say enough about your work being head and shoulders above the other information out there. I have been struggling with this so long, I look forward to this new chapter in my life.

    G.F.

    Just wanted to say your advice helped big time. 2 other coaches I’ve had made me feel so pressured because I felt like I had to do all this extra stuff. But talking to you settled me down and I was able to hang out with this girl for nearly 3 hours. No expectations no kissing, just a lot of laughing. And she texted me right after saying how cool she thought I was. Just wanted to say how much I appreciated your advice because unlike other advice I’ve gotten, this made me feel like I could genuinely enjoy her company, which I did. And now she’s definitely more relaxed about hanging out with me again.

    J.S.

    Hey bro finished ur book it’s outta control! You’re humble attitude behind most of your tips is really commendable! I’ve learned so much already but I’m going to have to read it a few times to retain everything. Btw, went out with a good mate of mine last night and approached every chick we could and had a blast! Best book ever! ?

    Richard

    Good info. This book is pretty easy to listen to. Each of the 99 points he makes are short and clear. A lot of the info used to make this book is based on truths and inner attitudes from some of the top pick up artists around. I’ve read and listened to a lot of different pick up/ alpha male books. This one makes packs a lot of info into some short easy to reference points. I have recommended this book to a few friends.

    Damon

    Hi, Marc. I enjoyed the book very much. I learned quite a bit, it put into perspective the things that I was doing wrong and gave good ideas on how to avoid those same mistakes in the future. I now know to not think of girls the same way or to make them my goal for success, my problem was that I was always over-thinking every situation, and I would let myself get too attached. After reading your book, I know understand that just because a woman likes you that doesn’t mean they’re attracted to you. I think that knowing that women respond to emotions is going to be a big help for me.

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