We All Want to Be the Guy Women See As Different
One of our biggest concerns today, especially with social media, is standing out and looking different. We want women to think we’re better than any other guy they’ve ever met and we believe showing them we’re “different” makes us more attractive than the rest – but how often does this really work? Being TOO different or different in the wrong ways usually backfires.
Showing women you’re different isn’t showing off and bragging. It isn’t flashing money, driving an expensive car or truck, showing off your house, wearing expensive clothes, buying women drinks, acting tough, acting cool and tough, etc. It’s also not sucking up, being overly nice, buying gifts and flowers, taking women on expensive dates, convincing them to like you, and trying to win their friends over.
But this doesn’t necessarily mean there aren’t ways to make yourself “stand out” and have women see you as “different” and more attractive.
If you want to be different from most men, you must have a different MINDSET.
With a different mindset, women naturally tell you things like, “you’re so different from the rest of the guys I meet… in a good way. It’s refreshing.” After talking to you for 3 minutes, because of your different mindset, women notice something “different” about the way you look at her, respond, walk, talk, and carry yourself.
Follow these 10 steps and you’ll be on your way to having that different mindset that sets you apart from other men.
1. Stop Caring So Much What Women Think
Not caring too much what women think helps you out MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
Throughout the eBook and Audiobook How to Quit Being a Loser With Women, the theme of “stop caring what she thinks” comes up over and over again.
You probably have a friend, co-worker, or family member that doesn’t care what anyone thinks and their personality probably DRAWS YOU IN and makes you want to be around them. Do you think it’s any different with women? It’s not. Women are DRAWN IN and magnetically attracted to men who don’t care what what others think of them.
Normally, we think, “If I show her that I care and I’m really nice, she’ll like me more. If I don’t care at all, she’ll think I’m an asshole and she won’t like me as much.” But it doesn’t work this way. IT’S THE OPPOSITE!
When you stop caring, you’ll be happier and a TON of weight will feel like it’s been lifted off of your shoulders. Your, “How do I make her think I’m a nice guy?” mindset vanishes.
So, stop caring so much what women think and you’ll notice them responding to and behaving around you differently.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “What people think of me or say about me is none of my business.”
Develop the same mindset.
2. Stop Seeking Women’s Approval
Women are sick of men seeking approval. Deep down, they don’t like or appreciate men kissing their ass, bowing down to them, worshipping them, and putting them on a pedestal.
Imagine if you were a hot woman and had 90 men A DAY seeking your approval and putting you on a pedestal – you would quickly become annoyed. They DON’T WANT to be put on the pedestal so many men place them on.
So, when you try treating her like she’s special in order to make yourself look different, all she’s thinking is, “Here’s another lame guy trying too hard to get my attention…”
Instead, hang out with her, have fun, and treat her as an equal. Not above you and not below you.
3. Stop Making Women the Center of Your Life and Attention
When most guys meet an awesome girl that they really like, they get overly excited and make everything about her. They forget everything they had going on before and change their whole life to make her the center of their focus. They smother her, call and text her too much, and always want to include her in every single thing they do.
Women are tired of meeting men who do this.
Women don’t want:
- To be the center of your life, focus, and attention. They want you to have a life, do your own thing, and to make them PART of it.
- You constantly begging them to tag along so you can show them off like a trophy. Once in a while, they want you to go out fun WITHOUT THEM.
- You calling and texting all of the time. They want you to give them room to miss you, think about you, and wonder about you.
- To be put on a pedestal and worshipped. They want you to value YOURSELF and respect YOURSELF as much as you value and respect women.
Become balanced. Make women PART of your life instead of making every single thing you do about them.
4. Control Your Thoughts, Reactions, and Emotions
Since we’re spending too much time on social media and watching reality TV, our mind’s are becoming programmed to believe it’s normal to always be teary eyed, bitching, complaining, and acting like a wuss about everything in our lives.
Most of us haven’t mastered our emotions and we’re out-of-control of how we think, feel, respond, and behave.
This is how more and more men are behaving when they don’t get their way with women or life. Instead of keeping it together, they’re freaking out and losing it. Think women are attracted to this?
When you’re feeling overly emotional and “bothered”, take a time out. Step back, detach from the situation, and get yourself together. Not everything requires a reaction. Controlling yourself and your emotions helps you to appear, and be, more in control of yourself instead of looking like an emotional crybaby.
5. Be Authentically Positive
Being positive doesn’t mean you have to be fake or annoying. It just means that when you want to be negative or a downer, you can decide to keep your mouth shut or put a positive spin on the situation.
You don’t have to put on a fake smile or act. You don’t have to constantly post positive and annoying things on social media. Just adjust your mindset to focus on the “good” in every situation instead of the bad.
Jocko Willink, former Navy SEAL commander, says “GOOD” to EVERYTHING. He says, “One of my direct subordinates, one of my guys that worked for me, he would call me up or pull me aside with some major problems, some issue that was going on, and he’d say, ‘Boss we got this and that and the other thing’ and I’d look at him and I’d say, ‘GOOD’. And finally, one day he was telling me about some issue he was having, some problem and he said, ‘I already know what you’re going to say. You’re gonna say ‘GOOD”. He said, ‘That’s what you always say. When something is wrong and going bad, you always just look at me and say ‘GOOD”. And I said, ‘Yea. When things are going bad, there’s going to be some good that’s going to come from it.'”
Here is Jocko explaining it:
6. Be Brutally Honest Instead of Manipulative and Dishonest
Women think a lot of today’s men are untrustworthy and full of shit because MANY OF THEM ARE. They lie, manipulate, and bend the truth to get women’s attention and approval.
Become the opposite. Tell the truth even if it puts you in a bad position. It’s better to tell the truth have women hate you for it than to lie and gain their approval.
If you manipulate women and lie to them, they will do the same to you.
What goes around comes around.
Brad Blanton’s book Radical Honesty helps you become more honest in your thinking, behavior, and communication.
7. Raise Your Standards and Expectations
Along with more men being out of control of their emotions, more men have lower standards than ever before. We are instant-gratification minded, lack patience, and have NO SELF-CONTROL. Our standards are becoming, practically, non-existent.
High standards means you only settle for the best – the best mindset, attitude, behavior, results, and life. It means you don’t accept any BS from yourself. It also means you only settle for the best people in your life with the best behavior and attitude. You don’t accept women into your life who are dramatic, manipulative, and cause problems.
Women have more respect for men with high standards and he definitely stands out. When women respect you, they’re more likely to feel attraction towards you.
Raise your standards.
Cut the crap, grow up, and raise the bar.
8. Be A Leader – Not A Follower
A lot of today’s men are having a big problem following instead of leading. They’re not thinking for themselves and they’re saying, doing, dressing, and driving what everyone else is because it’s “cool” and modern. But, here’s the thing – followers don’t THINK they’re followers. They think they’re being original and unique.
Women notice when you’re following and living your life the way everyone else is. That’s why they prefer the quarterbacks, politicians, captains, bosses, lead singers, etc. These men are taking charge and leading. They’re making decisions. They’re making things happen.
MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS. Quit doing what you see on TV and social media. Quit doing what all of the other guys are doing. Quit doing what you “think” women approve of.
Be yourself, do what you want, and lead your own life.
9. Keep Improving
Most men have the same thoughts, say the same things, repeat the same actions, feel the same feelings, believe the same beliefs, and have the same reactions until they die.
They don’t grow, change, improve, and evolve.
Be different than most guys. Push yourself to improve your time and become stronger, smarter, healthier, and BETTER. Learn new things. Do new things. Feel new things. Try new things. Fail at new things. Succeed at new things.
NEVER STOP IMPROVING.
There is no limit to how much you can improve.
EVERY PERSON on this earth can use some help and improve in one area or another.
Want to improve your dating life? Download these eBooks & Audiobooks.
10. Educate Yourself More Than Other Men on Women and Dating
It doesn’t take most women long to figure out that most men don’t know exactly what they’re doing with women and dating. They don’t want to take you by the hand and show you the ropes. They want you to already know what you’re doing so you two can hit it off and have a great time.
An education on women and dating gets you awesome and consistent results with the women you like.
Learn everything you can.
Being different from other men isn’t showing off and bragging about who you are, what you have, and what you can do. It’s having a different mindset and outlook that affects the way you interact with women.
If you get these 10 things down and follow them, you’ll notice that women will see you as different from other men.
Thanks for reading,
– Marc Summers