1. Caring Too Much What Other People Think Makes Them Not Like You
When you care what others think and you try too hard to get people to like you, they usually don’t because it’s written all over your face. Your eyes, body language, the way you move, and the way you speak screams you lack self-esteem and you need approval. It’s impossible to hide.
Wanting to impress and look as good as possible always has the opposite effect as intended – people like you even less and women feel less attraction for you.
Women instantly notice when you’re the type of guy who cares too much about being “liked”.
2. Everyone Is More Focused On Themselves Than You
“You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” — David Foster Wallace
We live in a self-absorbed society. Facebook and social networks now give everyone the power to be an “expert” and a critic, to be vain, and to think they’re best, smartest, and most knowledgeable. Their fake Facebook lives, their phone, and TV are their top priorities. More than ever, people overly in love with themselves, taking selfies, posting “deep thoughts” and “opinions” on social media, and trying to imitate rappers, singers, and celebrities to impress people they don’t know. They’re not taking the time to focus only on you because they’re too busy “branding” themselves and worrying about what EVERYONE ELSE thinks.
3. Caring What Others Think Hurts You
If you care too much what women and your friends think about you, you won’t have many of either.
When you care too much what women think, they’re less likely to stick around. When you care too much how much your friends like you and how “cool” they think you are, they probably don’t consider you a really “good” friend. They probably just hang out with you just to be cool, but they’re not likely to want to spend a lot time with you.
So to avoid this happening anymore in your life, here are 29 ways to stop caring what women and other people think about you.
4. EVERYONE Has “Haters”
It’s impossible for EVERYONE to like you. No one has ever been capable of getting everyone to like them.
They tried to do good and be good people, but even they had “haters”.
Not everyone is going to like you – even if you’re doing everything right.
Some people like hitting the “thumbs down button” for no reason other than it feels good to think they’re better than others.
When someone doesn’t like you and you don’t know why, just tell yourself it’s not THAT big of a deal.
The 25% Rule:
- One quarter of people you meet won’t like you and will never change their mind
- Another quarter of people you meet won’t like you but can be influenced to like you
- 25% of people WILL like you but can be influenced to not like you
- 25% of people WILL like you no matter what
It’s inevitable that not everyone will like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
5. What People Think Is None of Your Business
Usually, those who don’t like you have nothing to offer you. What are you losing? Nothing.
If they want to have their own private thoughts about you, let them. No one’s forcing you to communicate with them or do anything for them. There’s no need to take a WORTHLESS opinion and make it about yourself. It’s just mental weakness.
6. Life Is Short and It’s YOUR Life
You’re wasting your life if you’re unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled because you’re worried about what everyone else thinks. It’s not worth the loss of enjoying yourself and really finding true happiness and “inner” peace.
When you can’t stop being self-conscious and worrying about others judging you and having “opinions” about you, you’re wasting energy that could be used for something more productive and positive.
So instead of wasting your energy worrying what others think, just enjoy your life and let others think what they’re going to think.
7. Use Criticism to Learn, Grow, and Become Better
There’s often some truth to any criticism directed towards you.
The man who grows, changes, and evolves is the man who’s able to look in the mirror, accept feedback, and make it his mission to do better.
Criticism is not a personal attack or a sign that no one likes you. Don’t get defensive and blame others. It’s wise to ask yourself, “Why is this person saying or thinking this about me and is there any truth to it? What can I do better to avoid this negative this negative feedback in the future?”
Instead of getting mad, storming off, and thinking everyone around you is out of their mind, handle judgments and criticism in a more mature and responsible way.
When you really listen to criticism, you find areas where you can improve. When you ignore it, you don’t get better and your problem areas keep growing.
As an aircraft mechanic, when we found a crack on the structure of an aircraft, it HAD TO be repaired right then and there. If it’s ignored, the crack grows in size until the plane begins to fall apart and people die.
Listen to, respect, and accept criticism and if someone is calling out potential areas of improvement, humble yourself and begin working on them.
8. Focus on Your Goals and Priorities
When you’re focused on what’s really important, you’re not paying attention or noticing what others think.
Your focus is limited and it’s important to stay productive and making a difference in your life. If you have the time to worry what others think, you’re not focused enough on your goals and priorities.
Sharpen your focus on them. That’s where your happiness is found. That’s where you find so much happiness that others’ opinions don’t matter.
When you’re waking up feeling satisfied with yourself, nothing else matters.
9. Increase Your Self-Worth and Value
When you feel worthy and happy with yourself, you’re care less what anyone thinks. You’re doing your own thing, you’re feeling good, and their opinion doesn’t matter as much. When you know your value, nothing brings you down, stops you in your tracks, or makes you second guess yourself.
Knowing you’re doing the right thing brings a comfort that no one can take away from you with what they think.
How to Raise Your Self-Worth and Value:
- Workout and get in better shape
- Get a higher paying job
- Save more money
- Take care of your house, car, and belongings so you have more pride of ownership
- Get nicer clothes
- Educate yourself and learn more
- Get more sleep so you feel better.
- Push yourself harder to reach goals and make things happen
- Get rid of friends who drag you down
- Stop filling your head with junk and stop hanging around people who don’t make you better
- Work on your dating skills and build friendships with amazing women
Do what it takes to start feeling more confident, worthy, and valuable. When you do, you naturally stop caring what others think of you and you’re need to impress everyone goes away.
It’ll be easier to just “be yourself” and not care what anyone thinks about it.
10. Become More Dominant
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu
Dominant men don’t care what people think. Not dominant in the sense of bossing people around or being a bully.
In the eBook and Audiobook 99 Bad Boy Traits That Instantly Attract Women you’ll learn dominant means being dominant over YOURSELF and not accepting second class behavior. It’s holding yourself to a higher standard and being the version of yourself you know you’re capable of being.
When you’re dominant, you’re in charge of yourself and your behavior. You’re responsible for how you allow others to behave around you and treat you. If someone says or does something unacceptable, you stop them right then and there and say, “I don’t like that. Don’t do that.” When you do or say something that you know is unacceptable, you tell yourself, “Hey, not cool. You’re better than that.”
When you’re in control of yourself, you’re not focused what people think because it isn’t important. You make the rules for yourself and what you will and won’t allow in your life.
You’re not dominated by opinions. You don’t let anyone have that power over you.
11. Control Your Emotions and “Feelings”
It’s easier to be affected by what others think when you’re not in control of your emotions and feelings. Instead of controlling your emotions, you’re allowing your emotions to control YOU and influence your thinking, behavior, habits, and “feelings”.
Your emotions are so powerful that they will keep you from being happy if you allow them to and it’s important to recognize when your emotions are influencing your decision making. It’s important to keep your emotions in check and cultivate the ability to pause, breathe, and get yourself together.
When you’re getting anxiety over what others think, stop what you’re doing, take a time out, pull yourself together, let your emotions “die down”.
Don’t let what people think cause you to become overwhelmed by “feelings”.
12. Stop Being a Follower
Don’t copy your friends and do what they’re doing because you think it’s cool. Don’t dress, talk, and behave a certain way because it’s what everyone else is doing.
Create your own path, have your own thoughts and ambitions, do what YOU want to do. Live your life on YOUR TERMS.
When you wake up each day being the leader of your own life, you won’t care what others think.
13. Lose the Need to Impress
You don’t “need” to impress anyone. The best way to impress those around you is to not care about impressing them at all.
The “look at me” attitude gets you judged and criticized a lot more than when you don’t care what others think.
14. Avoid Validation Triggers – Like Social Media, Co-workers, or Friends
Social media brings out your need for approval. If you had a problem with seeking approval before, social media makes it 10 times worse.
Platforms like Facebook make it easy to get approval from people you don’t know. Take a selfie, say something funny or negative, and people are “liking” your post. You have automatic approval. You now have the tools to make the approval seeking habit so bad that it requires serious help to get rid of.
Social media is screwing up the brains of a lot of young people, stealing their happiness with themselves, and reinforcing bad habits that aren’t psychologically healthy or beneficial. So, if you REALLY care about what people think, get away from what “triggers” your need for approval. Get rid of your “I want to show this off to my friends” or “I want to show everyone how awesome I am” mindset.
This also includes hanging out with friends and co-workers who seek approval. Their mindset affects your mindset and it’s not good for you.
15. Stop Asking Others for Their Opinion
When you truly don’t care what anyone thinks, you won’t need to ask them for their opinion, thoughts, or judgments on anything.
Don’t ask, “So what do you think about my ____?”, “What’s your opinion on my ____?”, “What do you think about me?”, or any questions used to draw out the opinions of others.
Don’t communicate that you care about what anyone thinks.
When you say things like, “Nah I don’t care. I’m just curious” – you really do care.
Thanks for reading,
– Marc Summers