reasons she's not calling or texting back

Top 10 Reasons She Doesn’t Call or Text Back

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Based on experience w/ hundreds of women

Expert texting psychology and strategies

Avoid killing attraction and looking stupid

Avoid embarrassing and clueless mistakes

What to text, how to text it, when to text it

What you should NEVER do when texting

How to long to wait before texting or replying

Become funnier and more exciting

Every Man Has Struggled With Women Not Calling or Texting Back

Every man has clicked with a woman he thought was awesome, exchanged numbers with her, and then, SURPRISINGLY, never heard from her again! It happens every day, every minute, and every second and sometimes can’t be avoided no matter what you do.

From my experience with this situation, I can help you figure out what’s happening when women quit answering, calling back, and returning texts.

When She Won’t Call or Text Back, It’s Confusing, Frustrating, and Annoying

reasons she's not calling or texting back frustrating

It totally sucks when she’s not answering and calling or texting you back and instead of playing it totally cool, like we should, most of us freak out and lose our minds.

“What the f*ck! Did I do something wrong? Why the hell is this happening? Did I miss something? Am I not good enough? Am I overreacting? We start checking our phone more than normal and if we hear a sound, we pull it out of our pocket or run to it hoping it’s her calling or texting back! You know you’ve done it…

So when this happens, what’s really going on? It can be a real pain to figure out.

To help you, here are 21 reasons women have for not calling or texting back.

1. Life is Happening and Things are Changing for Her

reasons she's not calling or texting back life happens

Things come up, happen, and change in our lives that we don’t expect.

Sometimes women really do like you and, out of the blue, something makes her realize she needs to shift her priorities to more than just “guys” and dating. Things like health, family, kids, ex drama, career, death, loss of a friendship, etc. come up and she must shift her mind, thinking, and focus to deal with it.

It’s not that she forgets about you. It’s that she becomes so overwhelmed and involved in the situation that days and weeks can go by before she realizes she hasn’t called or texted.

2. She’s Actually Busy

reasons she's not calling or texting back she's busy

From experience with women not calling or texting back, some women actually do have very busy lives and they don’t live with their cell phone in their hand.

Some women only take their cell phone out once or twice a day and they usually keep it on vibrate or silent so it doesn’t distract them from their busy schedule. They’ll return calls and reply to texts at the end of the day but they’re not in the habit of calling and texting 24/7. If you’re involved with someone like this, patience is key. She’ll be impressed when you don’t freak out and have intense reactions to it.

3. She Thinks You’re Boring

reasons she's not calling or texting back she's bored

In How to Quit Being a Loser With Women, you’ll learn when I get her number, I don’t call or text unless she texts first OR I’m calling or texting to invite her out. I never call or text just to chat or make small talk. Since I don’t know her very well, I’m taking the chance of her getting bored and changing her mind about wanting to see or talk to me again.

This happens with TONS of men. They call or text too much, make boring small talk, and have nothing interesting to talk about with her. All she is thinking is, “Wow, this dude is turning out to be pretty lame.”

In turn, she gets bored and loses interest in calling or texting. When she ignores your calls and texts, she figures you’ll eventually get the hint and leave her alone.

4. She’s Losing Interest

reasons she's not calling or texting back she's losing interest

Her chances of losing interest are very high if you don’t bring enough excitement to the table. You now have to compete with the games in her phone, Facebook, Instagram, etc.

That’s why, again, I don’t waste time texting, calling, and making small talk. I only call or text if I’m inviting her out and I’m going to see her face to face.

5.  She Doesn’t Want to Talk to You

reasons she's not calling or texting back she's ignoring your call

Noticing a common thread?

She’s ignoring your calls, texts, and CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING not to text or call back.

You could think, “She’s an angel and there’s no way she’s mean or rude enough to be ignoring my calls…” BUT, you’d be wrong.

Most women don’t see ignoring calls and texts as mean or rude. They’re simply weeding out the weak and unattractive men.”

If you had 50 women calling and texting every single day and you only were interested in 1 or 2, you’d ignore most of the calls in order to manage your time. You’d figure the rest of the women you don’t like as much will get the hint.

6. She Talks to Other Men

reasons she's not calling or texting back she talks to other men

No matter how great you think she is, you can bet your top dollar that, even if she’s single, she’s already talking to or sleeping with someone else.

It sounds terrible but this is the way many women operate.

She may find you attractive and interesting, BUT if you’re not captivating her attention and causing her to feel more attraction for you than the other guy(s) she’s already talking to, she’ll put you on the bottom of her list and forget about you.

She has to be, even more, excited about YOU than she is about the guys she’s already talking to.

If she’s not, you shouldn’t be expecting her to call and text you back like she is.

7. She Only Sees You as a Friend

reasons she's not calling or texting back most guys friend zone themselves

The amazing friend zone is a place full of guys who she won’t call or text back because they don’t know what they’re doing with women – and now you’re stuck with them!

There are a ton of reasons women friend zone guys but the main reason is always consistent – you didn’t make her feel enough attraction for her to WANT to call and text you back.

8. You Call and Text Too Often

reasons she's not calling or texting back calling texting too much

Sometimes we don’t realize we’re calling or texting too much and once we do, it’s too late to do anything about it!

If you’re calling or texting too much, she’ll start ignoring your calls and messages and not returning them.

How much should you call or text women?

This eBook, Texting Titan!, teaches you EXACTLY how much you should and shouldn’t call and text her.

9. You Call / Text Too Much or Too Often

In Texting Titan!, you’ll learn it’s important to mirror her texts – if she texts only a few words, you text a few words back. If she texts a complete sentence, don’t text 3 paragraphs back. It creates an “imbalance” and overwhelms her. I communicates you’re way more excited to talk to her than she is to talk to you.

Appear to be as calm, cool, and laid back as she is.

Texting can be a game of chess – you have to carefully plan and execute your next text and anticipate how she’ll receive and respond to it before you send it.

10. You’re Getting Too Serious Too Fast

reasons she's not calling or texting back too serious too soon

Some of us don’t know or understand how to smoothly, gradually, and gracefully take things from one level to the next with her. We like to shoot from the hip and take shortcuts.

Women are like cats and if you move too fast or make sudden movements she’s not expecting, she’ll run and hide under the couch for a week and only come out at night.

If you want her to continue calling and texting back, don’t start talking about your feelings, getting emotional, and asking her how she “feels” about you.

She’s looking to enjoy the process, not be cornered and put on the spot by it.


reasons she's not calling or texting back she will get back to you

When she’s truly attracted and interested, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT is happening in her life, SHE WILL FIND THE TIME to get back to you.

When she isn’t calling or texting back, it’s best to accept the reality of the situation and give it a break, or move on. Don’t waste your time chasing women who aren’t interested.

If she asks you to stop calling and texting her, SHE USUALLY MEANS IT! If you don’t stop, it’s called stalking and it makes you a weird and creepy guy.

There’s millions and millions of single women all around the world and you’ll find one who takes the time to call and text you back. Especially if you work on becoming a better man every single day.

Thanks for reading,

– Marc Summers


Based on experience w/ hundreds of women

Expert texting psychology and strategies

Avoid killing attraction and looking stupid

Avoid embarrassing and clueless mistakes

What to text, how to text it, when to text it

What you should NEVER do when texting

How to long to wait before texting or replying

Become funnier and more exciting

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33 Comments on “Top 10 Reasons She Doesn’t Call or Text Back

  1. Hi All you guys and gals. Dating is nice and also can be costly and life ruining. I feel it is best to go slowly and hopefully you can end it off if necessary. If it doesnt feel right it probly is not riight. To the gals make him wait If he can’t wait there is some thing wrong. And to the guys if you are desperate try to desensitize your self before the date (you know what I mean) Then you will have more control and she will be more relaxed. Try to get real and express your life goals and needs. If you don’t complement each other then just let it go into the friend zone. If you are looking for a one nighter that may be unrealistic Some states are community property states so watch your assets (some times spelled ass-ets) .

  2. You forgot a hugely important one: you’re not giving enough effort to make me feel this isn’t one sided and/or I feel I don’t mean as much to you as you do to me.
    Another reason:
    I told you what I want/need, and you didn’t give it to me.

  3. I reconnected with this woman from a former job. She was always following me around when I worked there and and trying to strike up a conversation. We conneted over our love of horror films and film in general. I got another job and came back to visit and asked her out. She said yes. The date was in 2 weeks. In that time we mutually texted, flirted and talked on the phone for long periods of time. I attempted to meet her after work for coffee, and the plans were set, but she canceled at the last minute. We both get off work at 330 PM and I told her I would be at the shop at 4. She replied that her friend suddenly wanted to see her. I understand and sort of considered it to be a strike against her since she could’ve let me know sooner. If I made plans to be with a woman, and something happens I would let her know. She just flat out told me she forgot. Nevertheless, our date was still scheduled to go to the movies. We went, talked, laughed and even got a little close in the theater. I was paying attention to all her body language for the entire date and she just seemed closed off at times but open at times. During the ride there she there she crossed her arms as if she was cold. I jokingly pointed it out to her and she said she was not cold. After the movie I placed my arm around her and asked if she enjoyed the movie, she said yeah and she gracefully pulled away as if she didnt want to be touched. At this point I knew she either wasnt ready for such or unsure. On the ride back we talked and enjoyed each others company; at least that is what it seemed like to me. I tried my best to make sure I wasn’t the o ly o e doing g the talking. Upon dropping her off, we both hugged and she said to text her when I get in. I did and that’s when I noticed her texts wasn’t as responsive. She said she was tired and going to sleep. No big deal and I understood, it was a long day.
    Over the next few days, the texts has just been pulling teeth. I’ll text her saying hi or what’s up, and I get nothing. The conversations now are sparse. I text and her response are minimalistic at best. I have literally nothing to follow up with her responses, it’s like they are close ended. I respond but she doesnt. I say good morning and nothing. When she does texts it’s over some incident that happened at her job. As before I used to respond right away, but now I’m sort of playing her game and getting back to it later.
    It really is frustrating to begin something where you think its mutual amd great but then she pulls away almost completely. I know we can go through the typical things as “she may be tired, she may be busy, or something happened” and all that I totally understand. But to do a 180 and completly be silent, I’m a little unsure. Now all I get is “I’m going to call it a night because I’m tired.”

    What did I do wrong?
    Or what did she do wrong?
    I know it’s only been about a couple of weeks and I feel really stupid stressing over absentee text backs, but I dont want to waste my time. Not only that I enjoy getting to know people through conversation, but when there is no mutual response it’s difficult. Conversation should just flow and it’s a little annoying when it doesnt. I’m just a little confused.

    I swear if someone says you have to be more interesting and keep her interested, such an arguement I believe is foolish, because it displays the finicky nature of the other person.

    At this point I just decided to make myself available and leave the ball in her court. I’ll text and attempt calls but if I feel that she doesnt want to talk then I’ll call it quits.

    • Not necessarily! Or not even at all in my case. It may mean (1) try harder (2) show me more or (3) match my level of interest. That’s the case for me at least.

      • Yes yes this is exactly I stoped answering a text of a guy , who I am really interested in! But I respect myself more😉

      • Yes this isn’t true in my case I can be super interested and still walk away, usually it’s because it feels too one sided or they aren’t matching my effort

  4. I completely agree with these list. When you have a friend, both of you talk happily and joke but it dies down in the following week. Women can be pain in the ass sometimes. I can’t deal with a girl who is too damn serious these days and who doesn’t engage with me in conversation when trying to make things interesting. Making a long text could be one of the reason why my friend doesn’t reply to me. When stuff like this happens, move on.

  5. this was kind of girl hater ish you act like girls are fully organized proper hustlers of men they barely know what to say when opening their mouth

    • Hi. I partially disagree. There are a lot of decent men out there and women, but men do get jerked around and ghosted after they have spent time getting to know a woman being honourable as well good to her. We reap what we sow in society and some women never introspect on themselves yet easily blame the guy to say he never did this or that right etc.

      Talking from my own experience I have done two local and three long-distance relationships from the U.K.
      I have always been a confident guy who has worked hard on his goals and health. I have been treated badly before by
      narcissists and players who lie and deceive you and even though I experienced that it never made me become jaded, needy or insecure.

      I eventually met online and got on great with a Chinese woman from California who had a young daughter. after six months due to our work commitments, we arranged to meet up and booked our flights to meet halfway in the U.S, then wham out of the blue just “Ghosted” it has been four weeks to where i am getting no response via text or email back even when I had just emailed and text to make sure she was ok.
      I have four more weeks until i fly out this December 25th / 2019 yet paid and booked a luxury hotel for the both of us.
      Now I face the prospect of being on my own.

      Not only do I find this quite mean but also immature and cruel to do that to anyone who has not only been respectful to you but also given you space not rushing things by being a gentleman. It left me really gutted.

      So when i hear women go on about how bad guys have treated them, they need to take a step back and think of us decent guys out here who also get discarded like trash and hurt.

  6. i appreciate your insight in tackling relationship issues Mr. Marc. if she was meant to stay in my life , she would have stayed or come back but if not she will go completely and that is out of my control. one thing i have learnt in life is that some times you have to let go and most of the time our welfare is in saying farewell to some circumstanced that are inevitable and certain to happen rather than wasting our time trying to fix it. i now have to take your stay Cool Calm and Patient(CCP) strategy. THANK YOU MARC.

  7. Jay said it best:

    Most of the time women don’t respond back because they are emotionally unavailable, selfish, cold. What’s often referred to as “broken women”. Thus they lack healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. They lack empathy and courage. So they cowardly and coldly ignore you, unless you meet whatever whimsical need they have at the moment.

    I live in NYC and have lived all over. THe women here are just that:emotionally unavailable, selfish, cold and broken.

  8. Good article and list, but it’s missing the most important reasons. Most of the time women don’t respond back because they are emotionally unavailable, selfish, cold. What’s often referred to as “broken women”. Thus they lack healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. They lack empathy and courage. So they cowardly and coldly ignore you, unless you meet whatever whimsical need they have at the moment. These women are very confused so they will behave accordingly. While being ignored is painful, these women are doing us a favor. In psychology and in any healthy relationships training course, this behavior is often referred to as “stonewalling” and it’s considered one of the most hurtful and destructive forms of communication. Stonewalling is never acceptable and it’s abusive behavior. So when a woman does you the favor of showing you early on this type of behavior, she is giving you one of THE biggest red flags which should make you run for the hills. The pain of being ignored now is far less than the pain she will cause you later. I know this all too well. Finally, I’ve developed the courage to immediately walk away. So when I am ignored, I do what they cowardly cannot: I send them a text letting them know they are emotionally broken, being a coward, and in need of professional help. I thank them for saving me from greater heartache and future humiliation; and to please delete my number and do not contact me again; and that I am blocking their number; and that I wish them the best, which is the greatest pain in life because it’s the only thing that may compell them to change…It seems harsh, but the reality is, healthy people–male or female–deal with conflict in a healthy way and communicate effectively, no matter how hard it is to do.

    • Sorry I do not agree. Sometimes it’s the way to show the man that something must change after when communication does not work. When a woman is too honest and open that’s creating an advantage to man to hurt her. Thats is true and i am speaking from experiencies. So when you get ignored maybe you should first make a reflection what exaly could a trigger of the suc behaviour from a woman. Because everybody will notice the change in behaviour but never think what cause a trigger.

      • Ola, you do have a very valid point and this does happen. However if that is the reason should not the woman speak up and say so? he’ll know we’re still supposed to be mind readers right?

    • The ole it’s not them it’s me. Sad really. This isn’t the case and you’re judging all women when most aren’t cold hearted witches. If you go into it with that attitude that’s what you’ll get.

  9. Hello Marc, I read your article and it seems good advice. I guess sometimes we think that by learning new techniques or strategies and PUA stuff we will become dating heroes or something but there is always that component in real life in which hot women simply don’t seem very attracted to intelligent and successful guys like us and prefer dumb natural guys like the gym rats who know very little about these things and act on instinct. They are rather plain but they seem to prefer them best.
    It is kind of cliche advice to say that there are millions of single women out there and that “they’re just waiting for us to approach them”. That is really not the case. Most attractive women already have boyfriends or guys already chasing after them. You will eventually have to compete with other men for the woman you are intreted in. It is the fat and unnattractive women that are in the condition that you are stating and there is no way around that. hard but true.
    Take it from someone who has been in the game for around 15 years +, I really not focused on the game anymore and am very busy with work and my career. If it’s meant to be I guess I will eventually find the right woman without so much effort and begging, which is what most guys do.

    • Well said indeed. Many men seem to overlook the fact that is it usual for even a conventionally average looking woman to be bombarded by texts from guys. You can just imagine the case with conventionally attractive women. This is very true for online dating.

  10. Yeah I’f she’s or he ignores your messages then don’t bother contacting them again they clearly playing you to get a reaction and then blame you for being to much etc or they been on dating site and meet someone else plus if they do get in touch they will only ghost you again a decent person wouldn’t treat someone that way they should be honest but sadly people aren’t I can see why a lot people are single because they ghost you and they could of possibly lost the best thing they could of had so don’t waste your time with people that can’t be bothered to even sent one text a day they are pure jokers!

    • Swing and a miss! As said in the article, depends on the individuals and situation. Don’t jump to conclusions with minimal information.

    • “..and they could of…” Once I read this I stopped reading. Duh. If you don’t know it is actually “could have,” should you really be giving advice lol!? NOPE.

  11. thanks. im 17 and honestly, i can find a couple things i fit in with this. either way, great information that finally made me at peace


  13. Thank your for this list of problems men have to go through it helped me tremdously and I am forever greatful for the information you shared. If you ever need a donation my email is at the bottom

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Hi, I'm Marc Summers

marc summers of major league dating

I used to suck big time with women, dating, and relationships even though I was nicer than other guys, tried my hardest, and followed all of the dating advice. The women I landed, unsurprisingly, weren’t very picky or hard to get and I regularly got cheated on and dumped. Despite being the nice, generous, thoughtful, and loving guy I thought women wanted, once they got to know me, the attraction disappeared.

The day my girlfriend left me for her ex 30 minutes after hearing he got out jail was the day I decided to get serious, figure out EXACTLY what I was doing wrong, and make some changes.

The next 5 years of my life were spent focusing only on studying psychology, human behavior, effective communication, and leadership, and meeting and dating one woman after another to test out and fine tune what I was learning.

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Once you figure out what’s wrong and fix the problems in each one of these areas, your dating life will become easier, less stressful, and more rewarding. 

To share the powerful information I learned and make you better with women, dating, and relationships, I’ve written multiple best-selling books and have helped over 1-million men get better results. No matter how screwed up and hopeless your situation seems right now, I can help you improve it.

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