Relationships Aren’t Black and White
When we don’t understand relationships, attraction, or even love, it’s easy to think everything is black and white.
It’s easy to think that the other half “should” do what we think is logical or common sense.
BUT there is no “should” or “have to” in relationships.
I believe the health, stability, and success of a relationship is also based on how you “react” to your girlfriend rather than just how you “cause” her to react to you.
It’s a mixture of both.
I’ve learned that women, dating, and attraction is a chess game – you must always think a few steps ahead, consider what her “reaction” may be to your move, look at it from all angles, and then strategically make your next move.
Outside of a relationship, you actually have some wiggle room for error.
If something stupid happens, you can walk the other way, never look back, and there’s not much she can say or do about it.
No feelings involved. No one gets butthurt.
But in a relationship and when you have a girlfriend, the stakes are MUCH HIGHER and the consequences much more drastic.
You’re more vulnerable, more open to being hurt, and more open to damaging your overall relationship with her.
When she’s your girlfriend, there are lots of feelings involved and you and her are attached.
A mistake on your part can result in both sides being hurt, the attachment torn apart by you being dumped, and it can have negative physical and psychological effects on both sides.
The majority of the time, getting dumped by your girlfriend is anything but awesome.
Getting Dumped Sucks, Hurts, and Is a Terrible Experience
I’m not here to knock you for feeling down or to tell you to “man up!” because I personally know that getting dumped by your girlfriend is one of the hardest things to go through.
Almost nothing compares to the pain and devastation that comes from being dumped by the woman you really want to be with, that you’d do anything for, that made you feel “complete”!
But now that we’re here, it’s time to reflect and figure out what happened and where things went wrong.
I didn’t write this article to make you feel even shittier, to throw stuff in your face, or to make you feel like you don’t deserve a girlfriend.
I wrote this article because A LOT of the time we NEED to know “what” happened and “why” we got dumped.
Knowing or at least having a good “idea” of what happened is one of the only things that will bring a bit of relief, help us feel better, and help us relieve the “pressure” that’s built up from being heartbroken.
“Why did she break up with me?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Why didn’t I see this coming?”
“Why is she being so cold hearted?”
“Why doesn’t she care about me?”
Our mind feels up with so many questions and the last person we can expect to be honest and tell us the truth is HER!
And it isn’t because she’s mean or a liar – it’s because many women simply don’t know how to explain what’s happening in their mind and why… as crazy as it sounds.
The first step to healing and moving forward with your life (or getting her back) is to FULLY UNDERSTAND the situation, the actions that took place, and the thought processes between the both of you.
The first step to you feeling better is understanding your own behavior and how it possibly affected her in a negative way.
Your Girlfriend Didn’t Dump You Because She Wanted To
Remember that in a relationship, every action requires a reaction.
We’re always reacting to her and she’s always reacting to us in one way or another.
If you react in a good way, she reacts to your reaction in a good way.
If you react in a way that isn’t attractive, then she’ll probably unconsciously react by feeling less attraction for you.
As time goes on, and the more things you do that don’t exactly agree with her natural and unconscious “wiring”, the less and less attraction she feels until it’s unfortunately all gone and she feels she needs to dump you.
How Her Mind Works
Her mind doesn’t work in the “logical” way yours does.
She’s not figuring stuff out and making decisions based on logic and what seems rational and sensible.
She’s making her decisions based on how she “feels”.
She’s making her decisions based on what her “emotions” tell her to do.
“Well she has a brain just like me! Why doesn’t it work the same?”
“Why is she not seeing things the way I see them? “Why is she on a TOTALLY different page?!”
Because your brain is indeed different from hers – physically!
Her Limbic System, which helps her process and be in tune with her emotions and is concerned with mood and instinct, is larger than ours in size.
Since our Limbic System is generally smaller, we tend to be less in tune with our emotions and since we use the left side of our brain typically more than she does, it means we’re more logical when it comes to thinking and figuring things out.
So right now, you’re thinking logically about being dumped by her, and she’s thinking “emotionally” about having dumped you.
Two different mindsets!
And she has no conscious control over how her brain works just as you don’t have as much control as you think.
That being said, it leads me to the subject of ATTRACTION.
Her natural and unconscious “wiring” is what is guiding her actions – not her logical thinking.
Because of her “wiring”, she NEEDS to “feel” emotions in order to feel attraction for you and when you and her first met, she probably “felt” a lot of things for you.
These “feelings” kept progressing and getting stronger until one day, you more than likely quit causing her to “feel” the emotions that make her attracted to you.
It wasn’t something you did on purpose – you just weren’t aware and/or you don’t understand attraction.
She Has to Be Feeling Attraction For You In Order to Be With You
So when she stops “feeling” things for you, the attraction is gone.
When the attraction is all gone, you can bet the relationship is as well.
She doesn’t want to be stuck in a relationship with a guy that she feels NO attraction for and you can’t blame her for that.
It’s hard for her to feel bad about dumping you because her natural and unconscious “wiring” is guiding her actions and decisions – not her logical thinking mind.
Her “wiring” is always telling her to “find attraction”.
It’s not telling her to find a guy who’s “unattractive in many ways but cares about you”.
She’s being driven by unconscious and deep-rooted desires and instincts and most of what she does isn’t conscious or logical.
So when her natural “wiring” is no longer being stimulated and fed what it really wants, she’s internally driven to dump you and move forward.
It’s crucial for you to understand what’s happening in her mind so that you can reflect, see where you went wrong, and make the appropriate changes to either get her back, or lower your chances of being dumped in the future.
So from what I’ve learned from experience and getting dumped myself, here’s the 21 most likely reasons that your girlfriend dumped you.