Top 10 REAL Signs She’s Playing Games and Not Serious About You

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Many Women Play Games at One Point or Another

Women claim to hate when guys play games, but then most, at one time or another, play games with guys they’re talking to.

When you’re noticing “red flags”, things not adding up, and everything seems to be “off”, that’s when you pull back or move on. Never waste time on women who aren’t serious. If handled correctly, her game playing will be more of a “test” and she’ll feel more attraction. If handled wrong, any chance of her ever seeing you as more than a friend will be destroyed.

Women’s Actions Never Lie

Listen to her actions more than her words.

Talk is cheap and most of us are, unintentionally, full of it. Especially today. Most of our behavior isn’t aligned with what comes out of our mouth. We use words to paint ourselves in a particular light but then we don’t back it up with actions. Because of this, it’s easier for women to fill your head with wonderful things about themselves than it is for them to prove they’re actually that person.

PLACE MORE FOCUS ON WHAT SHE DOES rather than what she says. She can bullshit you with words, but not with actions.

No matter how much you like her, how pretty you think she is, or how much you THINK she likes you, you have to put your feelings to the side and pay attention to what she’s doing – not what she’s’ saying. Her actions tell the real story.

Smart men watch what’s going on and judge by what they see rather than what they hear.

Beautiful women easily bullshit one gullible guy after another and they’ll automatically assume they can fool you too.

Don’t Be Afraid to Tell Her How It Is, Hurt Her Feelings, and Walk Away

When women are playing games, most men become afraid, full of emotions, and they let their emotions and desire for her get in the way of what they have to do in order to protect their happiness, sanity, and self-respect. Regardless of how amazing you think she is, if she’s being childish, disrespectful, playing games, and mistreating you, don’t be afraid to put your emotions away, call her out on it, speak your mind, and walk away.

If she gets her feelings hurt and thinks you’re a jerk or “asshole”, no big deal. She’ll get over it. Hurting her feelings is not as “bad” as you think it is. Most of the time, it’s the wake up call she needs to grow up and quit playing games.

It’s MUCH BETTER to hurt her feelings, call her out on her behavior, and risk her never talking to you again than it is to be the gullible, nice guy, and fool she thinks you are.

She’s more attracted to the jerk who isn’t afraid hurt her feelings than she is to the guy who’s too nice.

Let’s get to it. Here are 11 signs she’s playing games and wasting your time:

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1. She Never Calls or Texts First

When you’re texting and calling first and she never takes the initiative to be the first to text or call, you’re wasting your time. You’re allowing her to treat you in a way that is less than you deserve. Just because she texts back or answers when you call doesn’t mean you have to be OK with it.

When she KNOWS she doesn’t have to make an effort because you’re going to keep calling and texting first, it strokes her ego and makes her feel better about herself.

In Texting Titan! 120 Tips for Texting Women, you’ll learn the 50/50 rule – you make 50% of the effort and expect her to make the other 50%. When she’s not making 50% after you do your 50%, stop texting her and wait until she does her part. If she doesn’t, you can walk away knowing she’s a waste of your time. If you’re making 75% effort and she’s only making 25%, it’s unfair you’re being too much of a nice guy.

If she never calls or texts first and you keep allowing it, you’re putting yourself deeper and deeper into the friend zone.

2. She Takes Forever Call and Text Back

If you call or text and she ALWAYS takes hours to get back to you, and you know she isn’t insanely busy, then you, obviously, aren’t important to her – especially if her phone is always glued to her hand. When you sense you’re not a priority, call and text less often or just stop contacting her. If you mean anything to her at all, it’ll catch her attention and she’ll move you up on her priority list.

3. She Only Calls and Texts When She Needs a Favor

Women “use” guys for drinks, rides, and “help” with things they can do themselves. Once you’ve helped them, they magically disappear.

You may think helping her out is the “nice” thing to do, but you have be smart enough to recognize when “helping her” becomes a pattern, you’re getting nothing in return, and she says things like, “Aww you’re so sweet and such a great friend!”

Women charm you, hug you, use their “princess voice”, tell you how much you mean to them, and pull the vail over your eyes so you don’t notice they’re using you. Some women don’t even carry money with them because they know they can talk some guy into buying them whatever they want.

Don’t be a sucker. OPEN YOUR EYES AND PAY ATTENTION.

4. She Keeps Cancelling Plans and Dates

When women are actually interested, they don’t break plans. If she’s cancelling but keeps agreeing to go out, she’s playing games and wasting your time.

If she cancels more than 2 times, just tell her you’re no longer interested – it’ll get her attention very fast.

Stop with the “Ok, that’s fine.”, “No problem”, and “I understand…” responses when she keeps cancelling. Have some respect for yourself and tolerate anyone wasting your time.

5. She Chooses Her Girlfriends Over You

When you’re low-priority in her life and ALWAYS choose her girlfriends over you, she’s playing games.

Once in a while, it’s no big deal. It’s good to let her have fun with her friends without being a control freak, feeling left out, and feeling like you need to be part of the fun. Encourage her to go out and have a girls night. But if you’ve known her for a while and she’s choosing her girlfriends over you more than 50% of the time, then you need to confront the problem or walk away.

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6. She Acts Different Towards You Around Others

The minute she starts changing her personality or how she treats you when others are around, that’s when it’s time to make your exit.

WHY she’s acting different doesn’t matter – seeming embarrassed or like she’s hiding something is enough to know she’s wasting your time and playing games.

7. She Says You’re Just Her “Friend”

When she pulls the “we’re just friends” nonsense, that’s when it’s time to shut down your feelings and emotions for her. It’s clear she’s not into you the way you’re into her. Start seeing other women and if she has a problem with it, tell her, “But we’re just ‘friends’, remember?”

Don’t play the “friends” game with anyone. Don’t allow women to friend zone you.

8. She Always Needs “Time”

When she acts interested but always refuses to advance the relationship because she needs “time”, give her all the time she wants – meaning that you’re not going to waste your time “waiting” for her.

Simply tell her, “Take all the time you need. I’ll be over here dating these other women until you can learn how to make decisions like a grown up.”

9. She’s Always Busy

When she’s always too busy for you, the solution is very simple – you’re, all of a sudden, too busy for her as well. Two can play that game. If you’re not worth her time, she’s not worth YOUR time. Don’t make it complicated.

She says, “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m just very busy.” and you reply with, “OK. That works perfect. I’m too busy for people who are too busy for me.”

10. She Won’t Take Pictures with You

She’s either embarrassed to be seen with you or there’s some guy she doesn’t want seeing your pictures with her. Awesome stuff.

If she’s on the FBI’s Top 10 list, it’d make more sense. But if she’s not, then she’s simply playing games and hiding something.

Conclusion: Respect Yourself Enough to Not Tolerate Games and Nonsense

When she’s playing games and you’ve had enough, you shouldn’t have to spell it out for her. If she’s smart enough to know how to play games, she’s smart enough to see the obvious signs that you’ve figured out what she’s doing.

When you stop calling, texting, and seeing her, your ACTIONS should communicate, loud and clear, that you’re not as dumb as other guys, you’re not cool with it, and she’s wasting your time.

Let the childish couples play games with each other. Since you have your act together enough not to play games, mature guy, you don’t have to accept it from women.

Thanks for reading,

– Marc Summers

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41 Comments on “Top 10 REAL Signs She’s Playing Games and Not Serious About You

  1. I do agree that all these games are the best for the snes,I would however put final fantasy 3 in the top five and replace Mario Kart putting it in the #6 spot instead and moving the others down,the reason I say this is cause final fantasy 3 was the best rpg on the snes in my opinion, I liked it just a bit more than chrono trigger,now as for a link to the past I do agree 100% that it should be in the #1 spot for lots of reasons, it was amazing,its a shame most kids today haven’t played one of the greatest adventure game of all time,great job this list guys,you finally put out a top 10 I agree with

  2. Link to the past 20-30 hours? Nonsense. Even on your first playthrough not knowing where anything is MIGHT take 8-10 hours if you’re really taking your time. The game can be beat in 3-4 hours with all collectibles and you don’t need to be some masterful speed runner to manage that. I was doing it as a kid and I’m not very good at video games.It’s an amazing game but I often see it described like it’s some sort of mega epic when it’s something most average people could clear in an afternoon or two.

  3. I’m a female in my 30’s and can honestly say I have been accused of putting my guy friends in the “Friend Zone.” The thing is, if I like a guy enough to want to spend time with him because it’s always a great time and we both feel great around each other, but he likes me and I don’t like him the same way, (in other words I’m not attracted to him the way he is toward me) telling him I just want to be friends is not playing a game. That’s called the truth. I value honesty so, if someone doesn’t like me the same way but wanted to remain friends with me, they should tell me. Right? I would appreciate that but, right away this guy accused me of “Friend Zoning” him and playing games with him. That was completely unfair. He treated me horribly after that and I saw him at work, and he told me there was no room to sit around him nor his friends … which is selfish because he was only thinking about himself. The thing is, if that’s how he (or any other guy) handles that truth, then even a friendship wouldn’t have worked out. I’ve seen time and time again guys trying to spend time with this girl they are attracted to with the intention of thinking the girl was “lying” (or playing games) when she told him the truth about just wanting to be friends, in the hopes that they magically become boyfriend and girlfriend in the end (which usually ends up with the guy feeling frustrated and feeling as if he wasted his time). Look, if a girl just wants to be friends with you, they should be honest about that. If a girl (or anyone for that matter) is honest with you, then they VALUE you! There is NOTHING game playing about that especially if it’s HONEST. Bottom line, this particular guy and I both lost a potentially amazing friendship all because of this idea of “friend zoning” and how it’s just a game. (sigh) This happens way too many times and it needs to stop.

    • The only friendship that can exist between a guy and girl is if she is in a relationship, she is ugly to the guy or she is not his type. Anything else is pyre conman-ship. This is coz the friendship will always be onesided. If people attacked you at a park, he’ll protect you. If his car broke down in a dark alley in the night, he’ll call his guy friend and not you.

  4. Great article and I will I had been stronger in the past. The past couple of women that played this game, I walked away. Of course, they chased me, but by this time I had lost interest. They lost a great bloke.

  5. I have a problem with my girlfriend I trully love and I dont know what to do. I met her about a year ago, in May we started dating. In August we had a big fight, after that I tried to fix things, I shared my feelings with her, she told me she loves me to and cares about me, but dont want to be with me (she was heartbroken several times in her life). I could not forget about her, but tried to move on. In november I unexpectedly get her text message where si said that she was thinkng about me, she has feeling for me, she tried to forget me but she couldnt and I arranged a date. I fell in love with her again, I was really happy, she told me she loves me alot of time (she showed me that with her actions too), that she misses me, she talked about our future together, everything seemed to be great, we were texting alot, talking about us, she seemd very happy too, for NY eve she texted me how much she loves me and said all next years should be ours, but suddenly in a week everything changed. She didnt suggested to meet me, texting started dying slowly, she no more sent me playful messages, did not sent me her selfies anymore, she started to become cold and distant. I afcourse asked her what is going on, that I am concerned and she told me she is totaly down because of her studying and that covid no social life, that she loves me and just want me to give her some time and just want me to trust her. I am covid positive right now, she knows that and anyway not trying to make me feel better or call me to wish me best. Whole thing is really bothering me and I dont know what is happening I just dont want to lose her, I did not make anything wrong and she started to be distant towards me over night.

  6. It may seem hard at first and that you are the one losing the “game”, but believe if you are indeed losing at a game, tell yourself that you are not in the business of playing games to start with. You are serious about your approach and have invested your energy in an endeavor that someone else takes as a joke and deals in disrespect. In this case, you are indeed losing, but you are also winning at not getting entangled to a loser.

  7. Marc you are the man you have great advice my situation this girl text me back fast says she likes me we kissed been talking for a few months hung out 1 on 1 one time hung out with her and her friends 5 times no sex . Recently we went out Saturday to bar with my friend her friends she acted different we layed together end of night but when I fell asleep she moved to other couch . She has negativity about her sometimes I feel she likes me but not as much as she thinks I ask her to hangout she says she’s busy or has homework she’ll let me know but we’re suppose to hangout with friends again Saturday just confused I feel like we both know we’re responding different and playing games idk think I give too much emotion and been giving her too much of what she wants going to see her and her friends hanging out but I make the move Doing everything Kiss make out touch etc idk just my thoughts running wild lol love to hear your thoughts

    • Simple thing I stick to – when things aren’t going smoothly and it’s bothering you, dial it back. Call less, text less, and see what she does. In her reaction to it, you will find a lot of information and answers as to what’s happening in her mind.

      • Mar, This really worked! With this mindse” No one can hurt my emotions without my permission” i have a lot of experiences. But i wanna thank u Marc for you Life changing Deep Tips

  8. I have a problem am friends with a women
    Who doesn’t
    Want to be in
    A relationship
    And I understand
    Why but I keep texting her and

    She won’t reply
    Some one help me to understand

  9. my devilish ex displayed all these attitudes while we were still dating. I was in love then and tolerated all, but now I hate her with the last drop of blood in me! some women are just wicked. I just pray I’ll get past all these sad feelings in a few months time because I I’m really hurt emotionally.

  10. I am a woman and I agree with this. Despite my busy life I tend to reply to my bf within a good amount of time. Also I am the one that sends him good morning and good night text because I am the one that usually gets up and goes to bed before he does lol. Though once in a while he will be the first to go to bed or wake up. If I am going to be longer to reply , I will let him know what is going on so he knows i am not just ignoring him. He also does the same for me, so yes I agree with this article hands down

    • Good words of wisdom here but I’ll add this….When you back off and stop falling for her games….And then she starts texting back because she knows she’s losing control….Block her ass. You’re not distancing yourself in hopes to “win” her. You’re doing it cuz you’re better than that. All girls like that will do is the same thing again once you pay attention to them. They’re insecure and all they want is validation through men. The strong men will be on to the next REAL woman!!

    • Some of these don’t necessarily apply to all girls. Some girls are brought up pretty old school and the phone is not necessarily on them 24/7, I’m 26 and it takes me a week sometimes 3 days to respond but it doesn’t mean I don’t love my bf lol majority of the time I misplace it or it needs charging, while it charges I forget about it. However if the respond is like 5 days
      or more late it’s not good. If she gains something from cancelling dates and plans Definitely a player. However some girls need time to figure out work schedule, as well as finance, if they still live with family finding a day when you can fully get to know a person and not just half it, is a bit difficult. If the plan cancelling last for more than 2-3 months I would say be more careful Or cut her loose and talk to see if her reasons are fair. Time depends on the girl your with, if she is a fast pace girl then yes it doesn’t make sense that she would need time; however there is that rare girl that was brought up differently and she needs time because she is not used to dating or doesn’t just jump into relationships. This could take months depending on how old school or experienced she is. Some girls have traumas time is very important for them too. Before judging the time you would need to know her. Aside from these I think the rest is spot on. ?

  11. Find yourself a positive woman and don’t spend time on women who play games, need time, or confused. I’ve dated 2 beautiful women at the same time, the one who was insecure played games, was less trustworthy, drama and a flake, always turning things around on me and being complicated/analytical. The other woman, wow, self esteem, supportive, funny, never talks about exes, does what she says and I never question what she says or where she has been. Guess which one I picked. 1 1/2 later and she still a badass, the other goes from guy to guy. Dating is sorting, use it to the best of your advantage. Don’t lock yourself into one when you are just an option in their web of self-loathing. Have a great day.

    • At one point I was in your EXACT situation….guess which one I picked….still to this day I still don’t trust her as far as I can throw her. Props to you for picking the right one!

  12. Um. I’m a woman, and most of the time, we distance ourselves because we don’t feel comfortable with what’s going on. Remind yourself you don’t have a “right” to any woman regardless of your behavior, and ask yourself: if someone was treating you the way you’re treating her, would you be weirded out? Reading this article and these comments is very scary. If I found a page like this in my boyfriend’s search history, it would be an automatic red flag. Try opening up a respectful conversation in neutral territory where you implore her to be honest, and absolutely don’t react to whatever she says. Allow her to talk, then you share your thoughts, and go forward as adults.

    • And why are you here then? Pointing out flags in neutral territory… Maybe you are unaware that some girls like to keep their ego stroked continuously and won’t say no to dates or hanging out but won’t show up either… They will provoke and poke at dudes to get their attention and validation and will be happy just with that, proud that someone likes them, while simultaneously chasing some dude that they consider to be of higher value, most of the time because of how she perceives his looks or social status, which is understandable but not really an excuse to keep someone hanging indefinitely… I’m here because the way some girls treat me leaves me thinking if they’re crazy or there’s something wrong with me… turns out I’m fine…

    • And they still can’t be honest even after you’ve opened the lines of communication in an adult and pleasant manner.

    • Take your own advice and try acting like a mature adult. You mention “we distance ourselves because” and in the same paragraph state “Try opening up a respectful conversation in neutral territory”. Rather hypocritical and childish.Also, you are so insecure you check your boyfriends browser history? You are not an adult so therefore you cannot “go forward” as one.

      • After reading this 90% she’s playing games with me and is just behaving as I am one of her best friends.

    • I find it ironic that you tell men they don’t have a “right” to any woman, while implying women somehow have a “right” to men’s attention. This isn’t a one-way street. The advice in this column is pretty clear: if someone is not respecting your time and energy move on. The fact that you believe men should stay in a psychologically abusive relationship shows you’re operating with a clear double standard, and believe women have a “right” to men’s attention, time and energy regardless of their behaviour.

      Your language also implies men are inherently creepy. Of course, if a man is creepy and aggressive they shouldn’t expect women to be responsive. That behaviour is unacceptable. But when a man is courteous, respectful and shows genuine interest in a woman who is not reciprocating, then that man has every right to show some dignity and walk away.

      Why is the obligation on the man to “open up a respectful conversation in neutral territory where you implore her to be honest”? Why is the woman allowed to “distance” herself while it’s a “red flag” if the man does the same? It just seems like you’re not even open to the possibility that some women are manipulative and/or attention-obsessed.

      This may come as a shock to you, but some women do, in fact, play games. Some women like the attention and have no interest whatsoever in dating a man. Some women use guys for free meals and string them along for months. This shit happens. I’m not saying all women do it, but enough do it that the advice in this column is justified and helpful for some people.

      I’m in no way ignoring the reality that some men engage in similarly fucked up behavior in their dealings with women. But that’s not what this thread is about. This thread is about psychologically abusive women, and the advice he gives is spot on.

  13. Separated for 10 months . Been together for 17 years. During our separation she was acting way different, would not hug me kiss me even when we when out on dates. I’ve noticed that when our relationship subject would come up, she always said or she would roll over it. Not to mention her distance from me. Wouldn’t communicate with me unless it was something about our 4 boys. Or say things like I need my ,(time, space). So I decided it was time to move back to my house. Same day again talking negative about me and everything. Even trying to give excuses not to come back. She says she wants to work things out with me. Be a good family again. You think I should keep going with my emotions and energy and time. Or simply give up. End this chapter.

    • So she SAYS she wants to work things out and be a good family again but do you believe her actions are reflecting the words coming out of her mouth? If her words and actions aren’t congruent, you need to have a talk with her and figure things out. The target you’re aiming for is simple – with enough time, either you see a positive change in how she’s behaving towards and around you or you decide not to waste your time anymore and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but you can’t waste all of your mental and emotional energy on someone not invested in moving forward in a positive direction.

  14. Thank you sometimes we can’t see for the way we feel about the woman when we think we’re in love so again i want to thank you for make it so clear on how to move on without feeling bad?thank

  15. I’m in highschool and I have a “friend” of mine who tells me she’s interested, but never texts or calls me first. She wants to go to homecoming with me but has plenty of boy toys. She has sex and even has dudes dickpics on her phone. I like her and told her I love her but seemingly has no qualms doing things I can’t stand. What do you think I should do?

    • The fact that your friend has dickpics of other dudes means that she is a serious whore. She probably has been banged more than what you think… no doubt about it. Such girls should be discarded like hot coals… or you will get burned.

      Let this sink in:

      You must walk away and cut contact with her at all costs. I know that a lot of girls will say that “She is just exploring herself of what she truly desires and she will come back to you with loving arms.”, don’t believe it. She is a HOE, full-stop. These girls will try to turn you into a blue-pilled cuckold. You must not allow it. You must avoid being a simp (you might think that staying around will make her reciprocate but she won’t).

      If you have not read about the “Alpha fux, beta bux”, i suggest that you google it, read it. You will understand the female behaviour and why they act this way and why they are so attracted to alpha males… but,

      And I only said but: You must travel the world to different places that are traditional and find traditional women. Such women raised in traditional, stable families are taught to respect themselves and not to be sluts and whores. They are taught to respect masculinity. Go for beautiful, traditional women. You will not regret it. Date foreign traditional women. I know that a lot of western women (or women where you come from or live in) will b**** about you choosing foreign women over them and tell you that “foreign, traditional women are not good.” All you have to do is tell them to f*** off and laugh. They are just jealous and venting of foreign, traditional women.

      Western women are real pieces of s***.. they are full of s*** and think they are entitled to everything and not a good candidate for marriage. They will rip your soul in pieces. Blame feminism for corrupting them as f***.

      There are plenty of fishes in the sea… TRAVEL. You can easily replace women and find better ones but avoid being a nice guy.

  16. Stay away from these woman folks all these 11 signs Marc stated hes correct. Mental health issues selfish little spoilt brat kids that never grow up. Save the stress and walk away block them ?

  17. Hi, in day of start I propose to married but she always say me grow u r self I m graduate and employee in orginazation i always say how i meet u r mother she say wait and study start again then i say ok and then I say we only engage but she refuse.what i do know

  18. While she asks me that she needs a time, she is keep in touch, calling me. Meanwhile she always escape for spending time, having sex, ..etc.
    She finally admit that she thinking to resume relation with her ex.

    should I tell her “Enough” and end the story??? , deep inside me I do not want to have such game,,,,

  19. Okay so I like this girl she keep playing mind games with me texting me first calling me hey boo and with kisses faces then every time when we both make planes or she make planes with me she always cancelling them then I get these no reply back some times she reply right away for good 30 min then she stop then hours through out the day she text me at work all day. And she get jellious when I’m have other females.

  20. Ok so this girl I like only mentions her ex around me occasionally. And that’s only because the two of them bought dogs together a while ago, and he recently moved out of her place. I knew the guy too.
    Other than that she hasn’t done anything on this list, yet I still feel like she’s playing games with me. She’s taking a little longer to respond to messages. Not stupid, crazy long, but it’s noticeable. Plus she doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about our conversations anymore. Yet when I go to her place she’ll scoot close to me, rest her head on my shoulder and move her hand closer to me, indicating that she wants me to hold her hand. What is going on? I’m so confused by this girl.

    • Maybe she’s not playing games at all. It’s possible she has a lot going on, a lot on her mind, or something else. You can’t be too paranoid about it. Just be cool and when you see some serious red flags, pay attention to those and be very observant. It’s easy to become paranoid assume someone’s playing games when they’re actually not. Whatever you do, don’t go poking around and asking questions that aren’t really necessary. That can get under women’s skin and become annoying if it’s coming from a place of insecurity.

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"I love Marc’s tough no BS approach to advice on self-improvement. He talks about his own life and lessons that have helped shape him into the man he is today."
Joe
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"Honestly other than the Bible, best book I have read in my life in regards to making changes in my life."
Sean
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"Thank you so much for what you teach! You don’t understand how much it helped me. You saved my life. I been struggling with this stuff for years. I wish I seen this earlier."
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