Everyone Has An Opinion And It Takes No Guts To Be A Critic
Of course, you’ve heard it before – “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.”
A part of life you can’t and won’t escape from is the opinions of others.
Everyone around you has the tools literally right at their fingertips to judge, be a critic, and share their opinion on anything and anyone they want.
It doesn’t take an act of bravery to say something negative about someone.
It doesn’t require guts to share your thoughts about how others are wrong and you’re right.
And what makes it worse is we now have the ability to do it anonymously the way a coward would.
Criticizing and Negativity Is Now A Part of Everyday Life
We now live in a more negative world/society thanks to reality TV whose ratings are boosted by negativity and opinions, the internet where everyone can speak their mind regardless of how ignorant it may be, and social and emotional intelligence being taught less and less by parents and leaders.
There’s no standard anymore for what’s allowed on TV – even on channels and programming for kids.
The more negative, opinionated, and judgmental it is, the higher the ratings are and producers say “let’s show more of that stuff”.
It’s becoming the “norm” and leading us to believe that being negative, judgmental, and criticizing is a normal and acceptable thing.
But it shouldn’t be.
Why The Hell Do We Care So Much Anyway What Women And Others Think About Us?
It’s only natural to want to be liked and for women and others to say, “Wow, I really like that guy! He’s great!”
It’s an awesome feeling to know that everyone thinks you’re a “cool” guy.
Something I learned a while back and I think makes a lot of sense is we want to be “liked” and we want to “fit in” because many years ago before we lived in today’s awesome society filled with nice homes, cars, and technology, we lived in tribes/smaller groups where we were surrounded by serious danger.
If we were “cool”, people liked us, and we “fit in” to the tribe, we were less likely to be harmed or killed from outside “dangers” such as the climate, wild animals, and other tribes who wanted to kill us.
Our chances of survival went up dramatically by being “accepted” by others and being part of a group.
If we were rejected by the tribe or group, we were “left out” and left to fend for ourselves against the climate, crazy ass animals, and other tribes who wanted our head on the tip of a spear, to use our eye sockets for chip dip, or to use our empty cranium as a bowl to eat cereal out of.
BUT today, it’s pretty easy to survive on our own and be protected from the “elements” without having to “fit in” a group.
Advancements in technology has everything MUCH easier for us and eliminated much of our problems.
But here’s one problem it hasn’t eliminated yet – your fear of people “not liking you”.
It might have been extremely useful thousands of years ago to always want to fit in so you wouldn’t die an insanely painful death, but it’s not really useful today.
And in theory, we’re still born with this survival “mindset”.
It’s something that we need to consciously “turn off” in order to stop caring what others think and to stop caring about others “liking” us.
Caring What She Thinks Never Works The Way You Think It Does
I’ve learned from experience and from some very wise friends that when you WANT someone to “like” you – they usually don’t.
It’s one of those things, like many things in life, that just doesn’t work the way it seems it should work.
When you go out of your way to be liked, it will backfire on you every single time.
When you care what women and others think, it shows in your eyes, on your face, in your body language, in the way you move, and in the way you speak.
It’s impossible to hide.
And when that woman you like sees this, she’s going to automatically assume there’s something fishy going on with you and you’re not that “cool” of a guy.
Caring what others think, always wanting to impress, and being too careful not to offend anyone will have the opposite effect as intended.
It will cause women and those around you to like you even LESS rather than liking you more.
So you’re much better off not caring what women or others think.
Your chances of women feeling attraction for you will be much higher.
Why It’s Important to Stop Caring What She and Others Think
Ever noticed that the guys who simply don’t give a shit seem to be well-liked by MANY people?
Don’t believe me?
PEOPLE LIKE THESE GUYS- but these guys themselves have never cared if anyone likes them or not!
People like them because they don’t care if people like them.
They don’t give off the impression that they WANT people to like and approve of them – if they did, they wouldn’t be as well liked as they are today.
As for your dating life, women notice from MILES away when you’re the type of guy who wants to be “liked”.
They notice when you care too much what others think and when you need approval.
They smell it on you like you haven’t taken a shower in a week.
You can’t hide it.
It will kill any attraction she’s feeling for you FAST and it’s one of the hardest things to overcome.
Everyone Is Too Focused On Themselves To Be Judging You Or Thinking About You
“You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” — David Foster Wallace
We now live in a “self-absorbed” society and with Facebook and other social networks giving everyone the power to be an “expert” and critic, to be vain, and to think they’re the hottest thing walking the earth, they’re all too busy doing their own thing rather than thinking about you and judging you.
They’re not taking time out of their “busy” schedule to make fun of you or talk trash about you.
Their mind is buried in Facebook, in their phone, or they’re glued to a TV.
I believe this because I’ve noticed that our society is more self-centered and self-indulged than ever before and most people are occupied being in love with themselves, taking selfies, posting “deep thoughts” and “opinions” on Twitter and YouTube, and trying to buy things they don’t need to imitate celebrities and to impress people they don’t care about.
So as sad as THAT sounds, breathe a sigh of relief knowing that most women and other people aren’t sitting around thinking about you and judging you.
They’re too busy doing their own thing.
We pretty much live in an “out of sight, out of mind” society now.
Caring What You Think Is Probably Having A Negative Effect On Your Social and Dating Life
I can bet ALL my money right now that if you’re always caring what women and your friends are thinking about you, then you probably don’t have many of either.
When you care too much what women are thinking of you, you’re going to have a hard time getting them to stick around.
When you’re caring how much your friends like you and how “cool” they think you are, I promise you that they don’t consider you a really “good” friend.
They probably just hang out with you or invite you out just to be cool, but they’re not about to invite you to go on vacation or spring break with them.
They think you’re “alright”, but definitely not one of the “coolest guys” they know.
It hurts to hear it.
But it’s true and I’ve seen it a million times with my own eyes.
Stop posting things on Facebook to get a reaction or to get “likes” from people.
It takes NO CAPACITY to be scrolling through a news feed and to tap a little thumbs up icon.
A thumbs up doesn’t mean anyone likes YOU – it means your little post entertained their overcrowded and over stimulated brain for 2 seconds.
They’re not thinking, “man this guy Henry is the coolest guy ever because of that post!”
They can care less about you and your post of a goat screaming to Taylor Swift’s song.
They can care less about your meme of woman washing dishes and it says, “OH LOOK. THAT SANDWICH MAKER IS ALSO A DISHWASHER.”
If it’s funny and you just want to share it so others can get a laugh or learn something from it, great. BUT, don’t post things on FB, Twitter, etc. to get people to like you and think you’re cool.
You’ll just be doing yourself a huge injustice.
Don’t give yourself a false sense of approval or belonging.
So now that I’m done with my ranting, here’s 29 helpful tips and things you can do to stop caring so much what women and other people think about you.