striving to be your best self makes you more attractive

Why Striving to Be Your Best Self Will Make You More Attractive

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How well we succeed in the things we want is often tied to our personal development. This includes dating and relationships. Our personal and interpersonal attraction isn’t just based on our physical form. In many cases, we attract others by how we conduct ourselves, how we hold ourselves, and how we treat others. This includes conversational skills, a sense of humor, kindness, and social expression.

Personal Positivity Translates to Self-Confidence

striving to be your best self makes you more attractive self-confidence

Insecurity and feelings of being unattractive plague us all. Most people have a tendency to underrate themselves, and this insecurity feeds into how they interact with others and present themselves socially. Having too negative of an opinion of yourself could cause other people to look at you more critically as well.

Self-development frequently unlocks a personal sense of positivity as you learn to value and respect your own growth. Positivity can help you to cope with stressful situations. This translates to the social world by allowing you to develop the capability of coping with anxiety or stressful circumstances demonstrating to others that you are overwhelmed, therefore allowing you to appear calm and capable.

Taking a positive approach doesn’t mean that you can’t and shouldn’t share your worries and concerns with those people with whom you have deeper relationships. Nonetheless, an overall sense of positivity can help you to weather any number of difficulties.

At the same time, self-confidence helps you to beat the trappings of self-doubt. This means trusting your own judgment which can go a long way to helping you develop your own unique personality without feeling like you need to emulate others. Positivity and optimism are contagious and will draw others to you because your attitude will help them to feel good. Furthermore, confident people have the inner-strength to compliment and build up others around them.

You’ll Develop Strong Social Skills

striving to be your best self makes you more attractive strong social skills

Self-confidence allows you to feel strong enough to let go of your own ego and listen to others. This means having the ability to draw other people into a conversation by learning to talk about more than yourself. You can demonstrate your interest in others by asking questions and steering the conversation toward topics relevant to them.

Strong social skills include empathetic or active listening, eye contact, and body language. When you listen actively and empathetically, you are validating the other person who often just wants to be heard. When practicing active listening, reflect back that you have heard and comprehended what your conversational partner is saying.

Developing social skills also allows you to distinguish the difference between being assertive and being aggressive in social situations. In most cases, being aggressive can deter people from socializing with you while assertiveness can be a positive trait. Aggression might involve pushiness or controlling urges that may suggest an underlying desperation and cause you to appear less attractive. Instead, channel your energy into a sense of forthright or assertive calm.

Become More Dependable

striving to be your best self makes you more attractive more dependable

In many cases, learning to be your best self will often mean introducing routines into your schedule. Routines, habits, and goal-setting lead to a sense of personal consistency.

Consistency tells others that you have follow-through and mean what you say. It also helps you to accomplish goals that will lead to you being more attractive and interesting.

If you’re uncomfortable with consistency, remember that it’s not the same thing as being predictable. Consistent people don’t have to be serious all the time. They can have fun and enjoy a sense of levity, while also giving the vibe of being dependable for others.

It Improves How You Look

striving to be your best self makes you more attractive improve looks

Being your best self helps you improve everything from your physical stature and grooming to your posture. Self-improvement frequently involves a gym routine. Being your best self also means taking charge of your own health, including eating well, as well as caring for your overall body and physique.

For many people, physical fitness is the entryway and impetus for personal development. Physical health is tied to any number of other benefits in your life as well though. Good blood circulation promotes hair growth and hair strength, which can be a key factor in attraction. Regular exercise improves your skin and complexion, both of which are a large part of physical attraction.

Having a physical fitness routine also improves mental health and stability. The routine demonstrates to others that you take personal responsibility for taking care of yourself and your own body.

Additionally, outside the gym, good posture and grooming demonstrate confidence in your appearance, as well as self-possession and self-respect.

Develop a Personal Style

striving to be your best self makes you more attractive personal style

The self-confidence that comes from striving to be your best self makes it easier to develop a personal style. Many people fall into uninteresting or uninspired dressing habits to blend in with the crowd. However, it’s difficult to stand out this way.

Remember that style is a big part of your self-representation. If your goal is to appear more attractive, it will pay to put some thought into what your clothing, accessories, and grooming represent about you.

The way you present yourself isn’t the only thing that makes you attractive, but it can be a key factor. You communicate much more by your style than simple animal attraction. Grooming may be the entry-level of developing a personal style, but it is also the most important layer of style since it shows others that you can take care of yourself.

The more you get to know yourself through personal development, the better you will be able to construct your visual style and how you want to present yourself. This also takes experimentation as you try different looks, colors, and facial hair styling.

It Encourages Self-Reflection

striving to be your best self makes you more attractive self-reflection

As you engage in personal growth, you will be reflecting a lot on yourself. This will mean accounting for your strengths and weaknesses, your relationships past and present, and how you determine, chart, and reach your goals. While it’s not recommended to beat yourself up about past relationships, or those times you strike out with someone, it can be helpful to think about your actions and how you could have conducted those interactions better. Of course, some relationships are not meant to be and will never work. Nonetheless, self-reflection helps you to know what you want and what kind of relationships work best with you.

Self-reflection, furthermore, helps you to develop a sense of sincerity. Sincerity means doing away with the false flattery and sales approach to personal attraction and interpersonal relationships. It means developing a personal authenticity without causing you to copy others’ personalities or becoming a people-pleaser.

Personal development and being your best self means growing your attractiveness inside and out, while also helping yourself to live a more enjoyable life

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Hi, I'm Marc

marc summers of major league dating
I sucked at attracting women. I made all of the mistakes, tried everything from TV, and did what I actually thought attracted women. The women I DID date were always below my standards and I usually got cheated on or dumped before I even knew what was happening. Despite being the nice, generous, and loving guy I thought women wanted, they simply didn’t feel attraction for me and I was miserable.

The last straw was when my girlfriend left me for her ex that just got out jail. It took her 15 minutes from the time she received the call to pack her bags and leave. I was so lame that I even helped her carry her bags to the taxi! That was when I knew I had to make big changes if I wanted to avoid ever feeling like that again. That was the day I decided to figure out and learn what actually attracts women and makes them want to be in your life.

Since then, I’ve written multiple best-selling books on attracting women and have helped countless men get instant results with women using what I teach. No matter how screwed up and hopeless your situation seems right now, I guarantee you I can help you make it better.

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Hey Marc, thanks for the eBook. It is amazing. You say it as it is.

Doug M.You've changed a life for the best

I have "Declare War on Yourself" and I've lost count, but I'm guessing I'm on my 15th time listening to it. I actually always have it on a loop. I listen every minute in the car, around the house, and while I'm going to sleep. I'm huge on self-improvement books since my dad got me Think and Grow Rich when I was 13. I'm 46 now, so I've read/listened to them all including all of Tony Robbins seminars, etc. Declare War is THE ONLY one I need now. It is the only one ANYONE would ever need. I just want to thank you a million times over. I even play small snippets for my 5 year old. (where appropriate) I noticed positive changes in my life since the first listen. It's more like an intervention of your life from a friend at a coffee shop. It's a "Dude, you need to get your shit together, and here's how" approach. Thank you for the time you took to write this book. You hit on EVERY area of life. I want you to know you've changed a life for the best. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


Hi, Marc. I enjoyed the book very much. I learned quite a bit, it put into perspective the things that I was doing wrong and gave good ideas on how to avoid those same mistakes in the future. I now know to not think of girls the same way or to make them my goal for success, my problem was that I was always over-thinking every situation, and I would let myself get too attached. After reading your book, I know understand that just because a woman likes you that doesn’t mean they’re attracted to you. I think that knowing that women respond to emotions is going to be a big help for me.


Thanks bro. I must confess, you’re a great writer. I mean your tips really seem like you’re talking to me in person and not like any ordinary website. Keep up the good work!


Great book! Short, sweet and to the point. I almost felt like a buddy of mine was reading and telling me these things. Emotions run high in break ups but playing your hand right can be the difference between getting her back & not. Now wish me luck as I am determined to use these 72 rules!