Feeling Like Time Is Running Out In Your Dating And Love Life Can Be A Scary Thought
Being single, getting older, and seeing people who have been together for years can easily make you think time is running out for your dating and love life or it’s already too late.
It’s easy to think that maybe you’ve made a lot of wrong choices and the people who are in, seemingly, happy relationships made better choices than you.
It’s easy to think that maybe you aren’t as good as the men around you and that’s why you’re single, struggling, divorced, and having bad luck.
It’s terrifying to think about!
But before you jump to such conclusions, it’s important to realize that not everything is that simple.
It’s Important To Not Let Your Mind Get The Best Of You
Your mind is great at causing you to overthink and come to conclusions that aren’t exactly spot on and it can get the best of you and cause you to put yourself down a lot more than you should.
When you fall into this trap, you make everything worse for yourself.
It’s the same as having beliefs and disbeliefs in your abilities.
If you believe you’re going to fail, then you’re more likely to fail.
If you believe you’re going to succeed, you’re more likely to succeed.
You have to know, deep down, that there’s always enough time to find love and your mind is only playing tricks on you, telling you that time is running out, it’s too late, and other things that aren’t true.
To help you strengthen your beliefs, even more, that you’re not out of time or running out of time in your dating and love life, here are 12 things to think about and understand before you jump to that conclusion.
1. You’re Not Ready If You Haven’t Made Peace With Being Single
When you’re not happy being single, you haven’t made peace with it, and you’re desperate to fall in love and be in a relationship, you’re full of negative energy and baggage.
You’re carrying around all of this unhappiness inside and other people, potential mates, can see it from a mile away.
It’s not what they’re looking for.
No one says, “I’m looking to date someone who’s miserable and unhappy being single.”
The most attractive men are the ones who are single, happy, and not in a hurry to get tied down.
Those are the men that women fight for and do anything to “bag” them.
The men who are down in the dumps and posting stuff on Facebook about “wanting a girlfriend” are the ones who get passed over time and time again.
You must make peace with being single.
You must learn how to become happy being single – or at least content with it.
Stop fighting it.
People are single from time to time and it’s not the end of the world.
Be the guy who’s single and he’s living life, having fun, and OK with his current dating situation.
2. Placing All Your Focus On Finding Love Will Make It Less Likely to Happen
The more you “try” to get a girlfriend, the more desperate you’ll appear, and the more women you’ll scare off.
Eben Pagan calls it “paying wanting it tax”.
The more you want something, the more you push it away with your desperate behavior.
Have you ever noticed that more women seem interested in you when you have a girlfriend and don’t seem interested when you’re single?
It’s because when you have a girlfriend, all the “neediness” goes away.
Your “needs” are being met.
But when you’re single, your needs aren’t being met, and you’re “searching” for a girlfriend, it’s written all over your face and it shows up in your behavior.
You don’t seem as valuable and “hard to get” when you’re making yourself extremely easy for women.
3. The Younger You Are, The Lower Your Chances Of Things Working Out
Statistics, for the most part, show that younger couples are more likely to divorce and those who choose to wait before they fully commit to each other and “tie the knot” are less likely to split up.
Yes, you have your cases where couples that have been friends since childhood are likely to stay together longer but that’s not the case with most of us.
Now, more than ever, we reach our 20’s and we’re placing more focus on actively searching for “the one” than we are on other things that are equally important.
I’m not saying it’s impossible and you shouldn’t do it.
I’m just urging you to proceed with caution.
4. It’s Important To Learn Who You Are And Figure Yourself Out
When we’re in our teens and twenties, we’re still growing.
We’re still figuring ourselves out.
We’re still changing.
We’re still learning.
We’re still adapting.
We’re still figuring out which direction we’d like to go with our life.
We’re still finding our “inner voice”.
We’re still deciphering what is “right” and “wrong” for us.
As hard as this may be to hear, it’s important to understand that if you haven’t fully gone through this process and you’re still in the middle of it, then you should be placing more focus on figuring yourself out than finding love.
Ever heard that a couple “grew apart”?
It’s because, in the middle of “figuring themselves out”, they decided to jump head first into the relationship – a period in which, I personally believe, we should be more independent-minded instead of co-dependent and a little more selfish with where we’re placing our focus.
From personal experience, the more you have yourself “figured out”, the more likely you are to know what you want and not waste your time getting it.
5. It’s Important To Learn Which Women You Do And Don’t Get Along With
How are you going to know which women you do and don’t get along with if you don’t take the time to “date around” and go out with different types of women?
Yes, it sounds “bad”.
Although what you do is your business, I’m not saying to sleep around.
What I’m saying is to “test the waters” and get a feel for the type of person who you think is best for you.
6. Don’t Feel Pressured Just Because Everyone Else Is In A Hurry
A lot of men fall into the trap of getting into a relationship because they don’t want to be the single guy.
They think about it so much that they cause themselves to feel like a loser and imagine everyone around them laughing at them because they don’t have a girlfriend.
The “pressure” isn’t real.
You’re putting the pressure on yourself by thinking about it so much and IF, by chance, there actually is someone telling you that you “need” to hurry up and get into a relationship, it’s important to not listen to it.
Don’t let others dictate your love life.
It’s your life and you shouldn’t let others have a hand in your decision making.
Have you ever thought, even for a second, that MANY of the people in relationships WISH they were single like you?
Have you ever thought that many of them feel “trapped” and feel as if they made a mistake?
Don’t think that everyone in a relationship is happy because that would be a big mistake on your part.
7. Do Not Settle Just Because You’re Feeling Lonely
A good reason that not everyone in a relationship is happy is because they settled for “someone” to avoid being alone.
They couldn’t handle the the negative emotions that come with feeling lonely and chose to be with someone who doesn’t make them truly happy.
Instead of being mentally tough and dealing with their emotions properly, the did what they had to do to stop feeling that way.
They took the less mature route.
Settling so you won’t have to deal with “hurtful” emotions and thoughts is a weak mindset – and in today’s instant gratification-minded society, it’s a mindset that’s all too common.
It’s important not to jump into a relationship just because you don’t want to be alone.
Be a man.
Act like a big boy.
Quit jumping into relationships because your emotions from feeling “lonely” are getting the best of you.
If you can’t control your emotions, then you probably aren’t ready to be in a relationship anyways.
The very last thing you want to wind up with a woman who doesn’t make you happy.
The last thing you want is to know you could’ve done better if you just would’ve had some patience.
The last thing you want is to be waking up next to a woman you don’t like and can’t stand looking at.
Very scary place to be.
8. Do Not Get Depressed And Lose Hope
Another part of being mentally tough is not allowing yourself to get depressed and lose hope because you feel like you’re running out of time in your dating and love life.
How are you going to meet someone if you’re depressed?
How are you going to meet someone if you don’t have hope and “believe” it will happen?
You think someone is going to magically show up and say “I’ll take you as you are – looking all pathetic and feeling sorry for yourself”?
Fake it ’til you make it.
Make YOURSELF happy and keep it that way.
Don’t lower your standards, don’t settle because you’re sad, and learn to become a happier person when you’re by yourself.
9. Do Not Think You Are Damaged Goods
Just because you have a kid, just because you’re divorced, and just because some of your relationships haven’t worked doesn’t mean you’re “damaged goods”.
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
It’s called “life” and shit that you don’t like is going to happen in your life whether you want it to or not.
Thinking no one wants you because of your current state is garbage thinking.
You’re convincing yourself of something that isn’t true.
Stop doing that.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Even if you have arthritis, you have trouble walking, you have children, you’re getting older, or you don’t feel as attractive as you used to, there’s still nothing wrong with you.
There’s always someone who thinks the world of you the way you are and it’s important to understand that.
Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t actively work on improving yourself.
Work to improve yourself every single day.
Just get rid of the “I’m damaged goods” mindset.
10. Don’t Feel As If Everyone Has A Partner But You
Another mindset you shouldn’t have is “I’m the only guy who doesn’t have a girlfriend”.
There are TONS of guys who are single – some by choice.
Again, remember than not everyone in a relationship is happy. MANY are completely miserable but they’re afraid to be alone and they stay in that miserable relationship.
Quit feeling left out.
Quit feeling unwanted.
Your mind is playing tricks on you by telling you that “everyone” has partner except you.