This article was written by Mike at Masculine Profiles.
Knowing how to talk to girls on the phone is VERY important and you’re eventually going to have to know how to do it if you want dating success.
Texting only gets you so far and a lot of girls hate guys who only want to text all the time. It definitely doesn’t build a high level of trust.
Talking on the phone isn’t hard, but it requires knowing a few basic rules, tips, and suggestions.
1. Don’t Apologize or Back Off Too Much
In my past experiences, not many women were interested or attracted when I had a habit of saying “just kidding” or “sorry” too often. It doesn’t matter if you’re texting, on the phone, or in person. Using these words too often makes you look weak, needy, and desperate for her attention.
Girls feel a lot of attraction for men who can handle themselves well – so don’t be afraid of what you have to say – and if you say something she doesn’t like, don’t feel the need to apologize to her for being yourself.
2. Be Aggressive Yet Respectful
Although it sounds like an oxymoron, it’s important to be aggressive and yet respectful.
So while you’re talking to her on the phone, make it clear to her you’re interested without being too much of a wuss or nice guy!
Texting all the time is for guys who are scared to be aggressive and assertive.
Don’t place too much importance on texting because it can lead to big mistakes and her losing attraction, I guarantee you! It’s not all about the context or verbiage you use while talking to her on the phone – but how you deliver it during the call. Be keen on how you deliver your message so you can make the right approach and not come off as too afraid or aggressive.
You want to be right in the middle.
3. Surprise Her
Find a creative way to call her up on the phone and talk to her – like calling her at an odd hour. Sometimes it can be in the morning when you are on your way to work or in the middle of the day during lunch hours. That’s perfectly acceptable.
Most phone conversations occur late at night she’s likely to enjoy it if you pick up the phone and call her at a random time.
I use it to my advantage by telling her I was just thinking about her and wanted to call her up for a few minutes. I also let her know that something reminded me of a conversation I had with her before, a hobby of hers, or an inside joke. This works WONDERS, especially if you can relate it to one of the 3 things I just mentioned in the previous sentence. It shows her you’re paying attention, observant, and don’t mind picking up the phone, calling her, talking to her, and making her feel special.
Although many guys prefer texting, taking the time to pick up the phone and call her makes you stand out more than the other guys. This is more personable and she appreciates it a lot more than just a text from you. Any guy can send a text!
I also encourage you not to ONLY call at random times, but do it consistently – like once or twice a week and have a fresh, new reason to call her. Vary it up. Just be honest. Don’t make up dishonest lies as to why you’re calling her or she’ll eventually catch on and she won’t trust you for being dishonest with her.
Give her a surprise phone call and I promise you she will love it!
4. Don’t Play the Waiting Game
Don’t pretend to wait a couple of hours before texting because you “haven’t seen her”. Don’t play the waiting game – this is for “high school minded” guys and I encourage you to move past this point. As I would say, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
There is no “perfect” amount of time to wait. If you want to talk to her, pick up the phone and call her. The worst that can happen is she won’t answer and she’ll have to call you back.
5. Keep the Phone Call Short
Make sure to keep the phone conversations short – 5-10 minutes max. Any longer and she may get bored or annoyed. However, a short phone call is enough to have a few good laughs with her and to keep her thinking about you – which is EXACTLY what you want.
Tell her about your day and how it went bad or good – and if your day was whatever then, think of a way to spice it up and make it sound more exciting.
5. No Filler BS
I’ve noticed that many guys find it difficult to talk on the phone and it takes a while to get good at it. However, my favorite piece of advice, that most guys don’t follow, is no filler BS. Sounds pretty simple, but let me explain before you skip this golden nugget – especially if it’s EARLY and you and her are just getting to know each other.
Like a lot of guys who aren’t good at talking on the phone, if you don’t know what to say, then you’re likely to use filler BS to keep the conversation going. This can lead to mistakes and cause her to see you as boring and unattractive.
No filler BS. Keep her talking about herself by saying, “Oh really?”, “No way”, and other interjections to keep her going.
6. Be A Good Listener
A good way to overcome your lack of experience talking on the phone is to be a good listener. All girls love good listeners and the better you are, the more “special” it’ll make her feel.
Think about it – most guys can’t wait to interrupt the girl they’re talking to so they can say something impressive. Very few guys know the true power of listening and those are the guys who get the girl without saying much at all!
Be a good listener.
7. Be Playful
When you’re talking to her, she’s going to be telling her stories and other things about herself.
Don’t ask mundane questions like “how was it?” “did you like it?” or some generic nonsense.
Instead, use these opportunities to show some more flavor, personality, and humor. If she tells you she cooked dinner, don’t ask her what she cooked for dinner. Say something like, “No way! I bet you burned the eggs!” This is just an example, but hopefully, you can understand the importance of being able to form a connection, tease her a little bit, and display some humor to make her laugh.
If you can make her laugh, then you’re golden.
This will also help you create some inside jokes with her, build rapport, and strengthen the bond you have with her.
To give you another idea, if she tells you she has a dog, you can throw in some more humor:
– “I bet he/she would like me more!”
– “Your poor dog has to eat your burned eggs?!”
– “Damn he/she is cute. Where do you live…? If [dog’s name] is missing I swear it wasn’t me…”
Hopefully, you get the idea of being playful and a little cheeky.
Sometimes it’s necessary to ask basic questions so you can get to know her, but keep it to a minimum. The goal is to learn how to see the opportunities where you can insert funny context instead of asking a question.
After you get a good laugh with her, then you can insert a quick and light question.
8. Avoid Slang
Please do not talk in slang to try and sound cooler. It doesn’t justify how cool you are because you know all the street jargon and it can make her think you’re just uneducated and/or believe you have no vocabulary skills. Avoid it – unless you grew up in the streets and it’s naturally the way you speak – then it’s somewhat acceptable.
But in most cases, it’s a big NO.
9. Flirt a Little
If everything is going well, then you can flirt to see how she reacts to it. This helps you to see where you and her stand. If she responds to it well and compliments you in any way, then that’s awesome! It’s a sign of good progress. But don’t stress it if she doesn’t react the way you have expected – not everything goes perfectly all of the time and it’s important to learn how to adapt and overcome by not reacting too extremely.
Anticipate her reaction and if it doesn’t go as you thought it would, then set a backup plan. If it DOES go as you thought it would, well then a tip of the hat to you. Good job. It’ll quickly help you to forge a connection and make her remember you.
10. Become Memorable
Find as many ways as possible to make the phone call enjoyable and memorable. Tell embarrassing stories of yourself or even past bad dates. These examples work in my favor because it is something personal that they know you probably don’t share too often. This shows trust in the relationship and that you respect her enough to let her in on your dirty little secrets.
11. Tell Her to Call You
It’s easy to pick up the phone and call her – even though most guys won’t because they’re scared. However, the real trick is getting her to call you.
Next time you’re having a pretty good conversation, tell her to just give you a call when she’s available. If you’re assertive and have a sense of authority when you tell her to call you, she’s a lot more likely to do it without giving it a second thought. If she calls you then you know she’s interested.
Girls love to know you’re feeling attraction by having you call them, but switching it up and having her call YOU gives it a good change of pace and gives you a clear picture of where you and her stand.
Develop a strategy and get her in the habit of calling you. This may sound like hard work, but it’s worth it – so don’t be afraid to test the waters.
At the end of the day, use your instincts on what are the right things to say and not to say when talking to her on the phone.
Talking on the phone is much easier because it helps you to connect with her faster, build rapport, and get an accurate sense of how the conversation is going and where it’s headed.
Phone calls give you instant feedback whereas texting prohibits it because she can be busy or “playing the game”.
Avoid texting too much, if you can, because it hinders the spark you’re trying to develop with her.
Phone conversations, especially late after hours, is the way to go.
If you’re able to continuously do that, I don’t think you will be having any problem with dating.
So good luck! I hope the very best if you’re aiming to one-up your phone game.
Talking on the phone causes her to be more receptive and open to discussion – for both hooking up and dating. Try some of these out and let me know how it went in the comments below!
Please feel free to reach out to me at Masculine Profiles if you have any questions.
Mike is a passionate writer whose favorite topics are traveling, dating, and women. With many of international travel and tons of dating experience, he loves sharing his thoughts and experiences on his blog Masculine Profiles. Check him out!