10 Ways You’re Still Acting Like a Boy Instead of a Real Man

ways you're immature and not a man


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Mature Men Are Going Extinct

marlon brando real man

In the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s, Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, James Cagney, Gary Cooper, James Dean, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and A LOT of other masculine and mature guys were viewed as REAL MEN. Men wanted to be like them and women wanted to be WITH THEM!

The number of mature and real men over the last 20, 30, and even, 40 years has severely declined.

Real and mature men are quickly becoming endangered.

Luckily, the few real and mature men left have more options with the women they like and want.


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The “Pussification” of Today’s Men

man up

EVERYONE is starting to see The “Pussification” of men. More men are growing up without their masculinity and dominance. They’re turning into big pussies, wimps, and pansies. When they reach adulthood, they’re acting more immature, weaker, and more feminine. Our modern society is producing men that are mentally, emotionally, and physically WEAKER than in the past.

In today’s schools, boys don’t have to exercise in P.E. if they don’t want to – something that wasn’t an option for older generations. READ ABOUT IT HERE If you were told to run half a mile, YOU RAN half a mile! Parents weren’t writing letters to the school demanding that the exercise was “too much” and “too stressful” on their children.

Today’s boys are also more sheltered than ever before.

They stay inside all day on their cellphone – which they’re too young to responsibly have, watching TV, playing video games, and surfing the internet instead of going outside and playing with other kids.

More and more men, who are still immature boys, are irresponsibly getting women pregnant and being responsible for their children. They’re abandoning the responsibility of parenthood. As a result, more and more boys are being raised by their mothers and not learning from their fathers how to become real men. There is no masculine father figure to set the example.

A lot of women say “he doesn’t need a father” – but this isn’t the best mindset to have. A boy can’t learn EVERYTHING he needs to know about being a real man from his mother – unless his mother is UFC’s Cyborg. Yes he CAN learn a lot from his mother, but nothing replaces an actual masculine man teaching his boy about maturity and manhood – just like a father can’t teach his daughter EVERYTHING about being a woman.

Rite of Passage

right of passage

Most countries have a “rite of passage” – a tradition passed down since the dawn of civilization.

In the ritual, the boy must pass a test, sometimes extremely painful or difficult, in order to become a man. He has to “pass” for his “right” to become a man. Hence the term, “rite of passage”. If he passes, he is now considered and looked up to as a man. Some countries even give the boy a spear and make him survive out in the wilderness and kill lions!

In western civilization, these traditions are pretty much extinct.

There are no tests boys must pass to prove they’re a man.

Boys are no longer required to prove they’re emotionally, mentally, and physically strong enough to take on the world and survive without their mom’s help.

Rite of Passage – The Emerald Forest is a good movie to watch.

From the lack of a rite of passage, when these boys reach 18 and it’s time to take on the REAL WORLD, they’re, not surprisingly, unable to handle the physical, mental, and emotional stress and they choose to run back home to mommy – and live with them until they’re 37 years old.

Parents were even trying to get the U.S. Army to start issuing STRESS CARDS. If an instructor is putting too much stress on a trainee or “private”, the trainee can pull a stress card out and the drill instructor has to take it easy. They should call them “Wussy Cards”.

As a result, more and more men are immature boys trapped inside of men’s bodies and most of them are completely unaware of it. They think they’re real men because they physically look like a man and they have no clue what real maturity is or even looks like.

Physically Being A Man Doesn’t Make You Mature and a Real Man

immature wannabe real man

When we hit puberty, we change PHYSICALLY. Our bodies grow, we grow hair in different places, our voices deepen, our muscles grow and get more toned, our genitals get bigger, etc. We develop all of the physical signs of being a mature man, BUT we all don’t MENTALLY become a real man.

Ultimately, mindset is what seperates real men from immature boys.

Your body doesn’t matter when it comes to being a REAL MAN. Some men are physically masculine and BIG guys – but when you get to know them, they’re immature little boys who haven’t grown up mentally. Other guys don’t look like they’re finished going through puberty BUT when speak to them and get to know them, you would think they’re 10 feet tall and lead armies of men. They’re not physically big, scary men, but mentally, they’re big scary men. Mentally, they’re mature, REAL MEN.

Here are 10 things keeping you immature and holding YOU back from being a real man:


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1. Not Accepting Responsibility

immature guy playing video games

Responsibility is huge.

When we make a mistake or we’re not being responsible, we’re supposed to own up to it. We’re supposed to raise our hand and be say, “Hey guys that’s me. I own that. It’s my fault.”

Most immature guys don’t accept responsibility. When they’re screwing up and making mistakes, make excuses and blame other people and circumstances.

Immature men do not take responsibility for their actions and life. They’re still:

  • 30 years old and getting that associate’s degree in college
  • Living at home with parents
  • Getting their parents to make their car payment
  • Maxing out credit cards and asking their parents to pay them
  • Borrowing money from friends and family
  • Making messes and letting others clean up after them – dishes, laundry, trash, etc
  • Having children and not raising them
  • Immature men are not holding themselves accountable for:

  • Not completing school
  • Living at home with mommy and daddy
  • Mismanaging their finances
  • Not being able to pay for their own vehicle
  • Having children and not taking care of them
  • Immature men blame every person, circumstance, and situation rather than blaming themselves.

    Real men take responsibility for EVERYTHING. The pain associated with admitting fault and accepting responsibility is TOO MUCH for immature men to handle.

    The term “Man Up” exists for a reason.

    Accept responsibility for where you’re at in life RIGHT NOW whether it’s good or bad. It’s your own fault -not your parent’s, sibling’s, friend’s, boss’, or teacher’s fault. You’ve had many chances just like everyone else to shape up and get your act together.

    Real men accept responsibility for their conduct and decisions and how they feel, behave, think, respond, and treat people.

    2. Mismanaging Conflict, Friction, and Circumstances

    immature man crying

    Immature men complain, bitch, whine, moan, gripe, cry, and seek pity for everything happening inside and around them.

    Complaining, bitching, whining, moaning, griping, crying, and seeking pity isn’t the “mature” thing to do when conflict and friction arises. It’s not how real men handle situations.

    Instead of saying, “You know what? This sucks but I’m going to MAN UP and deal with this situation without complaining, bitching, whining, and seeking pity for it”, immature men choose to act like a victim and be victimized by it.

    Check out this immature guy freaking out because his dad wants him to put the video games down and get a job:

    And this guy who loses his mind when his mom cancels his World of Warcraft account:

    Real men don’t respond this way. Only immature men do.

    Crying and complaining about things beyond your control doesn’t change ANYTHING or benefit you in any way. Real men understand the victim mindset doesn’t change the situation and so he deals with it.

    Here’s an immature guy crying ON CAMERA because his girlfriend left him:


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    3. Too Concerned with Impressing Others

    immature guy cares about what people think

    It’s completely obvious when you care what others think and you’re always want to be impressive.

    When we’re still a kid, we want to impress our parents and friends all of the time. But when we grow up, that mindset is supposed to go away.

    And thanks to Facebook, bragging and wanting to impress everyone is completely out of hand. Immature men’s self-esteem, confidence levels, self-images, and self-awareness rely on looking good to others.

    Real men aren’t concerned with impressing others and don’t care what people think.

    4. Poor Reputation and Image

    immature man poor reputation

    Your reputation is your social resume. It’s what others say and know about your character. It’s the “word on the street”. Men have reputations at work, on the street, in prison, and everywhere they go. Your reputation can get you promoted, fired, banished, and even killed.

    Immature men are completely unaware of their reputation and their impact on people and situations. They have the, “I don’t give a f*ck what people think!” mindset and they do idiotic, “socially unacceptable”, and destructive things that put them in very bad situations.

    Real men are aware of how their actions affect their reputation. Immature men use, “I don’t give a f*ck” as an excuse to act ignorant, foolish, and uneducated.

    If you have “haters” and people who avoid you because you’re acting like a moron and embarrassing yourself, you SHOULD CARE about your reputation and what others think. You should have pride, integrity, and know how to conduct yourself in public and private.

    When you know something can come back to haunt you, your reputation is telling you to be smart.

    When you do something good, 10 people will hear about it. If you do something really dumb, 100 people will hear about it. Not good for business.

    You will have haters, downers, and nay-sayers everywhere you go but if you get criticism for “not giving a f*ck”, then you’re bringing it on yourself.

    5. Seeking Approval and Validation

    immature men seeking approval validation

    Some of the manliest and most masculine men don’t have the “kiss ass” feature inside of them turned off and they turn into the most pathetic approval-seeking men the second a pretty girl appears.

    Real men don’t turn into anxious and giddy wussies around women. They don’t need approval and validation from women, friends, family, etc.

    Real men make sure all of their needs are met mentally, emotionally, and physically and that they’re giving themselves approval.

    6. Wannabe Tough Guy

    wannabe tough guy

    A lot of immature men try proving they’re tough and strong by lifting more weight than their body can handle. Every part of their body is moving and doing the work EXCEPT for the actual muscle group they’re trying to work! They’re struggling, grunting, and bringing negative attention to themselves.

    Immature men pretend to be someone they’re not.

    They try to be more macho, masculine, and more dominant than they actually are! They’re still boys pretending to be grown, dominant, masculine, and mature men.

    Real men don’t need to:

  • Pretend to be someone they’re not
  • Try intimidating people to boost their ego
  • Try to be an “alpha male”
  • Prove how tough they are
  • Prove how strong they are
  • None of this is necessary to prove you’re a real man!


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    7. Lacking Respect For Yourself and Others

    real man self respect and respect for others

    Real Men:

  • Treat themselves and others right
  • Don’t accept disrespect from himself or those around him
  • Treat others the way they want to be treated.
  • Keep their word, show common courtesy, are punctual, have manners, and know how to be socially intelligent
  • Never belittle anyone
  • Don’t become power hungry tyrants
  • Don’t always need to prove they’re right
  • Immature men lack respect for themselves, women, and others. They say and do things that are abusive and they try to control women out of insecurity.

    Real men are secure and confident and don’t try to bully and control women and others.

    8. Low Standards

    high standards

    Real men’s high standards are the reason they treat themselves and others with respect.

    Mature men have clear standards on:

  • What is and isn’t acceptable
  • How they treat themselves and others
  • Not accepting bullshit, nonsense, and second-rate behavior from themselves, women, and others
  • What they do and don’t want in their life
  • Immature men have much lower standards.

    Define your standards. Set the bar high. Those who want to be part of your life will make the effort to meet your standards. Be clear on what IS and isn’t acceptable and live your life by it.

    9. Poor Social Skills

    immature men poor social skills

    Immature men lack social discipline. They brag, show off, and lack class. Unaware of how they look and sound in social interactions, they lack manners, interrupt, and don’t focus on listening. Instead, they focus on what to say next instead of understanding what they’re being told. They talk more than necessary, use more words than necessary, and respond without thinking.

    No matter how great their life is, mature men avoid bragging and anything and any other bad social habits that make them seem like a douche bag. When others speak, they listen and give them an opportunity to feel understood. When responding, they pause, think about their response, and then carefully assemble their words. They understand verbal, body, and written language and make an effort to become better at interacting with others.


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    10. Poor Self-Discipline and Self-Control

    self-control and self-discipline

    Immature men avoid work and are only motivated to do what’s fun. They don’t discipline themselves to get the results they want.

    They don’t tell themselves “no” or make themselves do things that are tough and boring, yet beneficial – like working out, going to bed on time, getting up early, saving money, eating healthy, and getting their act together.

    When enough is enough, they don’t know how or when to stop gambling, drinking, partying, slacking off, eating, playing video games, watching tv, etc.

    Real men are about self-discipline and self-control. They know how to say “no” do what’s necessary for a better life. They aren’t victimized by a lack of self-control.

    Mature men control of their life and everything in it.

    Bonus: Real Men Chase and Get What They Want

    Immature men dream, wish, and hope their life will improve. They imagine doing they really want, BUT THEY NEVER TAKE ACTION! They say, “That sure would be nice” but fail to take steps in the right direction.

    Real men don’t have the time to dream, wish, and hope because they’re too busy making it happen! Every. Single. Day!

    Real men get what they want whether it’s a job, career, car, house, woman, etc. If they want it bad enough and it’s worth getting, they do whatever it takes to make it happen. They figure out what needs to happen, create a plan, execute, and get what they want. They stop at nothing to get the life they want and deserve.

    If you spend your time watching TV, playing video games, and doing other low-value activities, it’s time for it to stop. Figure out what you want, make a plan, execute the plan, and turn your life around.

    Too many old men, WHO WERE JUST LIKE YOU, say, “I wish I would have” instead of being able to say “I’m glad I did what I had to do to make it happen.”

    Conclusion:

    Real men don’t screw around. They handle their business, have their life in order, know what they do and don’t want, and live their lives by rules, principles, and standards. They don’t waste time playing dumb games with themselves and other people.

    Mature men get things done and move their life in the direction they want it to go. Start doing the same.

    Thanks for reading,

    – Marc Summers


    declare war on yourself book


    I'm Marc Summers. My job is to lead you in the direction and help you learn exactly what works so you can become the man women actually want.

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    14 comments on “10 Ways You’re Still Acting Like a Boy Instead of a Real Man
    1. Jason says:

      I think this writer misses what a real man actually is, and rather lists things (in duplicate) for his peers to adhere to in the name of his own society/advantage. You then go on to conclude “Mature men [take] control of their life (lives) and everything in it.” I would guess it’s written by a city person surrounded by suburbs. I don’t know where to begin with you. Firstly for your lastly, view the list of Roman Emperors….scroll, and you will see that even those with supreme power get smoked, sometimes four in a year. The Egyptians figured expansion was mature up until it lead to invasions. All of merry ol’ England came to an end after Norwegians started to settle in northern France. “William” isn’t an English name btw, it’s French. If history tells anything, it’s every man for himself. Has this writer even tried to priest over his own little block or region? No? For Shame. A little bit of insight: It doesn’t work. The made-lowly or born lowly are lowly and they know their roles, which leads me to: As for the rest of the list, disregard. Why? It’s the gene pool, and society itself, stupid. If this writer expects obese (the majority) women to “woman-up” by taking on physical labor jobs to the point it’s all ooge knocking together that rooftop instead of men as he drives by whilst thanking himself he’s not a real man, I think he’s not fully being sincere with his outlook. I’m not sure I know anybody who is dynamic enough to breach their own selves and actually change, circumventing upbringing, environment, genes, etc.

      My point is, real men get killed just the same. If this writer had actual good intentions, he would be preaching “defensive living in an overpopulated world of hypocrites”.

      Maturity, please. This is a very short world of extremes and we are all young. I’d say the only mature thing to do is get the fuck out of the way of future generations.

    2. Alexander says:

      Thank you for the article.

      I have a feeling some negative impact is done by our environment. Not claiming 100%, but the research says that plastics add up to increase of estrogen. The overall increase in products that affect our hormones, has increased dramatically. And even though our bodies can adapt, one can only guess how much manliness overall was reduced by external factors.

    3. Peter says:

      Perfect. These things are often subtle subversions of reality, but not in this case. The only thing I’d argue is that men don’t care what others think because thinking changes as we evolve. But they do care that their thinking creates the reality we all experience, so they’re obliged to influence other’s thinking in the right direction.

    4. Badlandsbabe says:

      Great write. I’m glad to see that there are still some real men out there, it gives those of us women seeking that hope. I was fortunate to grow up with real men as the male influences i n my life, however I was in for a real rude awakening when it came to dating… People ask me with the majority being males, why it is I remain single? This article is why. To many of my female friends accept this bullshit & enable it & because I flat out refuse, I’m labeled with a reputation that superceeds me wherever I go & I’m more then good with that. I’d rather be known as a bitch & a ball breaker who doesn’t take or put up with crap anytime, than put up with whiny, disrespectful, self involved, unemployed, abusive slackers who go around with their arrogant, sense of self entitlement & a million excuses as to why their lack of ambition & unmotivated laziness is somehow everyone elses fault, all while masquerading as real men. The majority have somehow erroneously mistook my interest in them, solely based on their outstanding ability to charismatically lie to women, as somehow wanting to take the place of their mommies. It’s to bad all the time & energy that’s wasted on game playing & untruths isn’t put into growing up.

    5. Nadine says:

      I’m a woman reading this an OMG every word you said is completely true. No man should be living at home with his parents at the age of 30’s and 40 unless they are mentally or physically handicap. I’m so tired of hearing the excuses and the you haven’t walked in my shoes crap. Having their mommies fighting their battles, washing their underware and picking out their clothes.
      This hits home his mom runs his life, I won’t put up with it anymore more unless he grows some balls and has the courage to stand up and be a man.
      I’m not bashing men, I love men and I have three sons. But men need to be MEN and stop being a poor excuse!

    6. Tyson says:

      The op is simply helping explain how to be a man to many guys, whose parents failed to instill these characteristics in them. I love women, make good money, workout, mountain bike and I wreck a lot. My point is I used to think being a metrosexual in my 20s was acceptable… but I was a kid in an adult body, I disrespected women to get laid, lied cheated, stole, manipulated and was passive aggressive. I knew all this so what did I do? I tried to join the army and my parents talked me out of it. Worst mistake I made was letting them. All this is taught in the armed Forces. Drill sargeants break men down and build them back up to portray these manly characteristics and looking back I wish I had a strong role model of a man in my life, blunt, harsh, but concerned and was harsh out of love and respect for me. Looking back I’ve been driven by insecurity, outside validation, hypochondria, vigilance, fear… this article and the op just nailed what it is to be a real man and I am going to follow my interpretation of it. This Article is downright 100%. The ‘new’ world is taking a crap on mans masculinity… get self aware and own your shit and thank this man for giving you the commandments of being a man.

    7. Jack says:

      Another point of being a real man would be to have self-awareness. Clearly, you have none. Points three and four practically contradict each other. How can you care about your reputation and image if you’re suggestion men shouldn’t worry about impressing others? Also, if that’s the case then why would they care if they have social status at all? It’s the same thing. If you care about your status you care about what people think and say about you to an extent. In the end, worrying about impressing others.

      Other than that, I can agree with the rest of the article.

      • Marc Summers says:

        Jack, it is perfectly possible to maintain a clean and respectable reputation while, at the same time, not investing emotional energy into the petty and ignorant opinions of those who are seeking attention, jealous, or attempting to get under your skin. It is immature to be 100% oblivious or careless about what kind of impact you’re making on others and how you make others feel when you’re around them. Have a good reputation, but at the same time, you can’t be concerned with what EVERYONE thinks of you. If you can’t understand this simple concept, you might consider working on YOUR self-awareness.

    8. L tate says:

      This is true and blunt. Unfortunately until a man wants to grow up nothing he reads will makes sense.

    9. Don says:

      Who is the complete idiot who wrote this stinking pile of dogshit? You act like it’s a level playing field and everyone has the circumstances. Some people have longer roads to how you moron. Being a man has nothing to do with where you end up and when. I’ve seen entitled little rich boys go through college and because they’re “educated”, make a lot of money and go far. I’ve seen men of meager means take years to claw their way up before they could find the time and money to put themselves through night school to get an associate’s degree. Your generalizations speak volumes about your true stature as an adult. Grow up dipshit.

      • Marc Summers says:

        Thanks for your comment, Don. By the way, I’m the complete idiot who wrote this article. Why are you so angry? FYI, some people make the “road” harder and longer on THEMSELVES because they choose to find reasons it’s “hard” and “impossible” and they choose to be victimized by life. Life isn’t fair, get over it, but it’s all about the MINDSET and attitude you choose to have while dealing with your particular situation. I lived in my car when I was 17 years old, showered anywhere I could, STILL ironed my clothes at the laundromat, still went to job interviews, still worked 12 hours a day 7 days a week, got a nice apartment, paid my bills, and STILL went to college without acting like a baby about it and having a “poor me, life is hard” attitude. I did whatever was necessary and barely, and I mean BARELY complained about it. I didn’t tell my mother about it until I turned 30 and she’s the one who put me on the street! So I don’t care how “hard” you’re saying everything is, it’s DOABLE for ANYONE in ANY SITUATION.

      • Peter says:

        Don, your attitude needs adjustment, and if anybody close to you cared, they adjust it for you. Sometimes, they try to adjust it but if you scream like that, they’ll probably just let you follow that thinking to the end. Sometimes we like to learn the hard way, don’t we?

        After you’ve adjusted your attitude, work on exercising your will power by doing things you don’t want to do, but know are right, or good.

        Then, remember the equation – Power + Attitude = Performance. It works.

    10. Bobsen says:

      Massive RESPECT to this dope article. You’re the best man.

    11. New Around Here says:

      Thank you for writing this. I recently started dating again and see way too many men that are really boys.

      Pro Tip: If the woman you want to date lives alone in her own house and has a white collar job while you live in your parent’s basement, don’t ask her out.

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