10 Weak Mindsets and Behaviors that Make Women Think You’re Immature

10 Weak Mindsets and Behaviors that Make Women Think You’re Immature

declare war on yourself book

Maturity is Everything if You Want to Attract Higher-Quality Women who Stick Around

Not only does maturity make it a lot easier to attract more and above average women, but it also makes them WANT to stick by your side through thick and thin. If you’re mentally weak and immature yet, somehow, lucky enough to land a high-quality woman, I promise you there’s a good chance she’s only hanging on by a thread. She always has one foot out the door and is constantly questioning her relationship with you until you push her over the edge and she’s gone without hesitation. When you have a more evolved, well-rounded, and more mature mindset, you see the world through a more mature lens, and you have a more mature outlook on life and situations you’ll find yourself in with her, she’ll do whatever she has to do to weather the storm and make the relationship work. That’s how big of a difference strength and maturity makes! She knows, without a doubt, that weak and immature men are becoming more and more common and stronger and more mature men are becoming harder to find.

A stronger and more mature mindset removes the questions from her mind. It removes the insecurities and the doubt. She’s more relaxed and more comfortable being in a relationship with you and more likely to feel she’s in the right place and making the right life decisions.

If you have the same mindset you had 5 and even, 10 years ago, you’re only screwing yourself over and it’s easy to guess that your life is full of problems and women don’t stick around.

The ones who do stick around probably don’t make you very happy and you don’t make them as happy. I wrote this article to help you change it. To help you grow up a little. To help you outgrow the friends, family, and associates that are poisoning your mind with their immature and mediocre bs that’s holding you back. Yes, I said “poisoning” your mind because that’s what hanging around weak and immature people does. Their thinking and beliefs permeate your brain and before you know it, you’re thinking, behaving, and saying the same things they do. You have to get away from all of that if you want your dating life and other areas of your life to get better.

Look at the guys around you and on social media who complain, “Women don’t notice me and they only like douchbags and bad boys wah wah wah!” That’s not true at all. I know tons of guys who aren’t jerks, assholes, douchbags or body builders and they have no problems with women because their mindset is different and they STAND OUT. They aren’t weak, fragile, and immature and thinking and behaving like they’re still in high school. Weaker and immature men don’t stand out, don’t catch women’s attention, and aren’t getting the same results with women.


It’s Impossible to Remain Mentally and Emotionally Weak and Immature and Get the Life, Friendships, and Relationships You Actually Want

10 things that make women think you're immature - case of being a little bitch

The world’s most successful men are not only getting better results with women but they’re getting the much better results in their personal and professional lives. Pay attention to men like Jeff Bazos, Carlos Slim, the late Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Larry Ellison, Grant Cardone, Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Tom Brady, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Dan Bilzerian, and so many more. Read up on them. Watch interviews on YouTube. Listen to how they speak, the words they use, and the look on their face. Watch their temperament. Look at their eyes when they talk to people. They ALL have an edge. They’re dominant. They’re in charge. They take more action than everyone else around them and they do whatever is necessary to create the life they want. They’re not taking shit from anyone and they’re definitely not getting bullied or pushed around. They’re not complaining about what isn’t fair and not wasting time caring what other people think. The success didn’t make them who they are. Who they are made them successful! The strength and maturity came FIRST and everything else that the world envies them for followed.

It’s impossible to remain a mentally and emotionally weak and immature guy and still keep high-quality women around.

If you want an above average life with high-quality women who actually want to be in it, you simply cannot skip the work. You can’t skip what it takes to become the type of man and develop the personality traits that women naturally want. You can’t just jump straight to the success part. You have to invest your own personal time and energy for a few months and, maybe, even a few years, like I did, and just hammer away at everything holding you back in your life and with women. Hammer away at your weaknesses and insecurities. Hammer away at the part of your mind that is still childish and believes the world is unfair. Hammer away at the immaturity that’s causing women to run away. Spend time pulling out all of that bad, ineffective, and useless programming, trash it, and replace it with wise and effective thoughts and beliefs that make you mentally and emotionally stronger.

Physically Being a Man Doesn’t Mean You’re Mentally and Emotionally Grown Up

10 things that make women think you're immature - wannabe man

All of the physical signs of being a mature man doesn’t, by far, make you a mentally strong and mature man. Puberty only affects the body, not the brain. If you want your mind and emotions to grow up, that’s a process you have to put YOURSELF through. It’s not automatic and not something your mom, grandma, dad, or, even, the military can do. They can educate you and show you the ropes but, ultimately, it’s up to you to decide when you’re ready to grow up and knock off all of the dumb and immature shit.

Unfortunately, for most of us, it usually takes REAL problematic situations to wake us up and force us to grow up. I don’t mean minor problematic situations like having to Uber because your dad took the car away or using the laptop to get on social media because your phone broke or you didn’t pay the phone bill. I mean REAL PROBLEMATIC SITUATIONS like losing your job, being dead broke, and on the verge of being homeless (or you are homeless). That painful situation WAKES YOU UP and FORCES you to evaluate which thoughts and decisions put you there and how your mindset has to change in order for you to avoid ever being there again.

The more weak, immature, and naive you are, the more terrible shit you’re going to experience as a result. The more terrible shit you experience, the more you figure out how to grow up and become more mature in hopes of avoiding those situations again. But, you only become more mature if you’re smart enough to learn from your mistakes. If you’re a stubborn and hardheaded know-it-all and don’t force yourself to grow up and become more mature as quickly as possible, life will keep shitting on you until you get the point.

So, to help you avoid getting shitted on, even more, by life than you already have, here are 10 things that you can work on. Not only do these 10 things make your life much easier, but they also help you attract more women and keep them around longer.


1. Not Accepting Responsibility for Your Life and Your Problems

10 things that make women think you're immature - video games

Refusing responsibility for your own problems, situations, and life not only makes keeping women around extremely difficult but it also leads to a lot of arguments and dysfunction in any relationship you’ll find yourself in. You can’t have the mindset that everything going wrong in your life is always someone else’s fault or it’s because of a certain circumstance. You gotta stop being too weak and scared to look inwards and find out where you’re being sloppy, lazy, and complacent and how all of that negligence has led to where you’re currently at. Accept the blame and admit when you’re not on top of your shit and doing the things you’re supposed to be doing.

This mindset is the first thing that has to go when you’re trying to become more mature and attract higher-quality women. When things happen, which they ALWAYS WILL because it’s a part of life, you can’t start looking to blame other people or things. Be strong enough to accept responsibility and deal with whatever happens because of it.

Here are a few things that need to quit happening IMMEDIATELY if you want women to quit thinking you’re immature:

  • Living with your parents to maintain your “lifestyle” and avoid working harder. If you’re capable of living on your own, it’s selfish, weak, and immature to mooch off of your parents. Even if your parents WANT you there, don’t be the type of man who lets other people take care of him. Live your own life, do well for yourself, and take care of YOUR parents. Give them something to be proud of.
  • Asking your friends and family to help you pay bills because you mismanage your finances and live beyond your means. It should be a major wake up call that you have some growing up to do if you’re an adult and you’re still asking others for financial help. If you’re asking to borrow $900 to take a girl to a concert to impress her but you can’t even afford to pay your cell phone or car payment, then guess what, you have need to become more mature when it comes to your priorities.
  • Maxing out credit cards, ruining your credit, and making it someone else’s problem. First of all, here’s a little tip – never use over 30% of your credit card limit. If they say you can have $100, only spend $30. Even IF you’re paying it, using over 30% reflects poorly on your credit. If you can’t get any kind of financing without a co-signer, then you have some growing up to do in how you borrow and spend money. Last, borrowing money and not paying it back is a scumbag thing to do. If you get a credit card or pay money, do the mature thing and pay it back.
  • Letting others clean up after you – dishes, laundry, trash, etc. Come on, man! Seriously? By the time you’re like 12 you should already be getting this lazy habit under control. Don’t carry this nonsense into adulthood and make it a problem for your friends and the women you date. It’s selfish and sloppy. I’m not trying to be an asshole but there’s no other way to say it – not being responsible enough to clean up after yourself makes everyone think you’re a selfish piece of shit. Simple as that.
  • The maturity that attracts women is taking responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life and not making it anyone else’s problem. Accept responsibility for where you’re at RIGHT NOW, stop complaining about it, and take consistent action to make it better.

    YOUR LIFE IS YOUR FAULT and you have just as many opportunities as everyone else around you to get your act together and become a better person.

    Come on. Let’s put away the emotions, knock of the complaining and blaming, and start being responsible for the results you’re getting in your life. That’s the only way you’re going to attract and date the women you really want.

    The mature man that women want to be with accepts total responsibility for his mindset, decisions, and behavior and NEVER makes it someone else’s problem.

    2. Mismanaging Conflict, Friction, Stress, and Problems

    10 things that make women think you're immature - man crying

    Bitching, whining, and complaining about everything that doesn’t seem fair or isn’t going your way isn’t what women are looking for. They’re not deeply attracted to the guy smacking his lips, throwing his hands in the air, and complaining about how something isn’t the way it “should” be. Look, life never has been and never will be fair and perfect. Sometimes people who don’t deserve to win are going to win and people who “should” win will get the shitty end of the stick. It’s just the way life goes. Complaining and whining about it is a complete waste of time because it doesn’t change it.

    The guy that women actually want to be with is rolls with whatever happens and never makes it a bigger deal than it has to be.

    Everything doesn’t need to be perfect in your life for you to feel good and be in a good mood. If you allow every little imperfection in your life to put you in a negative mindset and mood then you’re just going to keep meeting women who think you’re a weak, whiny, and wimpy man. Find a way to work with what you have going on and if you’re not happy with your situation, as I always say, TAKE ACTION TO CHANGE IT. There’s positive in every situation and instead of focusing on what’s wrong in your life, focus on what’s right. Instead of focusing on the darkness, focus on the little bit of light you do see. 99.9% of the time, it can always be worse and your life isn’t as bad as it could be.

    Adjust your mindset! Not only is it more mature and less annoying, but it’s more effective and eliminates a lot of unnecessary stress from your mind and life.

    10 things that make women think you're weak immature jocko willink control your emotions

    All the stress and negativity from not handling your situations and circumstances correctly POISONS AND DAMAGES YOUR RELATIONSHIP with her. It minimizes your chances of success. Negativity is toxic and, if you’re smart, you’ll keep your problems and frustrations to yourself. Jocko Willink, retired SEAL Team Three Task Unit Bruiser Commander, says, “Oftentimes, expressing your emotions to the world doesn’t improve your situation or position AT ALL! Most of the time, expressing your emotions to the world sets you back.”

    Stop allowing yourself to be victimized by people, situations, and circumstances and instead of thinking and saying, “This thing happened TO ME”, change it to “This thing happened” and just leave it at that. Take yourself and your ego completely out of the equation. Everything doesn’t always have to be about you and how it makes you feel. Being a man is having the maturity to take yourself OUT of the equation and just see it for what it is instead of feeling like the situation is against YOU.

    Instead of being mature about it, this guy is freaking out because his dad asked him to get a job and lay off the video games:

    This guy’s mom cancels his World of Warcraft account and he handles this problem by getting really weird, making dinosaur noises, and going completely insane:

    Instead of remaining calm and accepting responsibility for whatever happened, this cries like a baby ON CAMERA because his girlfriend left him:

    Only immature men are weak and self-centered enough to respond to situations in this manner. If ANY woman EVER sees you behaving this way, regardless of how long you and her have been in a relationship, she will immediately begin to question what she’s doing with you. Freaking out, complaining, and feeling like a victim NEVER changes the situation and it only clouds your judgement and prevents you from thinking clearly. Mature men who attract women easily completely understand this and always find the most effective way to deal with any situation they find themselves in.


    3. Too Concerned with Impressing Others

    10 things that make women think you're immature - show off guy

    Let’s just start with what I REALLY think about impressing women and other people – YOU SHOULD NOT BE CONCERNED AT ALL WITH IMPRESSING OTHERS because it makes you look totally weak and pathetic. You should only be concerned with impressing yourself because YOU STILL HAVE A LOT TO PROVE TO YOURSELF! If you spend your time working to impress yourself by seeing how much you can accomplish while you still have the time, what you can build, what you can improve, how many people’s lives you can improve, etc., at the end of it, you’ll realize that you don’t care about impressing other people and you’ll actually be pretty disappointed that most of society isn’t keeping up with you.

    I’ll be honest, I spent the first twenty years of my life overly concerned with impressing people I didn’t know and who didn’t give two shits about me and my life didn’t changed for the better until I STOPPED DOING IT! I’m shaking my head right now thinking about it because I cared way too much about what everyone thought and I didn’t realize how completely obvious it was to everyone. I drove around in the shiny car with the windows down and rap music blasting thinking that people would say, “Wow, look at how cool that guy is!”. I went to the gym, got shredded, wore the wife beaters, and posted the selfies so people would see how muscular I thought I was. I walked around with my chest out and head cocked back so people would think I was a tough guy. I unnecessarily pulled out rolls of cash in front of people at the store, mostly 20’s and 1’s, so they’d get envious and think I’m rich. I made unnecessarily loud comments in public with my friends so people would hear and think I was a high status guy. I spent more money than necessary at the bar buying women and all of their friends drinks so they’d think I was some type of big baller. It was pathetic! I had this over-inflated sense of who I thought I was and that limited mindset of wanting to impress people HELD ME BACK FOR YEARS! I’m trying to help you avoid it.

    But to help you avoid it, I have to be brutally honest with you and tell you to STOP GIVING A SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE THINKING YOU’RE BETTER THAN OTHERS. You may think you’re making a certain impression, but from the outside looking in, I promise you, you’re not. To those who are paying attention, looks completely lame, needy, and ridiculous. It doesn’t get you anywhere with women and it actually repulses them! If your showing off does happen to attract women, you’re only attracting low-quality women with the same low-quality mindset. They’re no good for you and only take value from your life instead of adding it. Again, I’ve been there and done that I know this more than I should.

    When you have the mindset of, “I want to impress” whether it be “him”, “her” or “them”, you’re approaching the situation with the completely ineffective scarcity mindset and it doesn’t attract women. You’re basically telling them, “I have low self-esteem and I want you, someone who’s not responsible for how I feel, to make me feel good about myself by being impressed.” Do you hear how stupid that sounds? Seriously think about it, what are you getting out of impressing people? A small ego boost? How is that small ego boost making you a better person or improving your life? It’s not! That tiny ego boost you get from people being impressed does NOTHING to improve you or your situation so you’re, basically, just completely wasting your time.

    On the other side of the coin, when you approach all people and situations with the abundance mindset, you get better results. Something else I learned the hard way is that PEOPLE LIKE YOU A LOT BETTER when you aren’t trying to impress them. This is something I am now 100% sure of. If you haven’t seen this for yourself, try it. Spend a whole week just being “whatever” and not worrying about impressing anyone with your words, money, or what you own. In fact, try to avoid impressing them and just see how much better people respond to you and how much more genuine they are with you.

    4. Poor Reputation and Image

    immature man poor reputation

    To be clear, there is a big difference between the desire to impress women and others and the desire to keep a solid reputation for yourself that you’re proud of. They’re two different things and it’s important to know how they differ.

    Although the image you hold in your mind of yourself IS important and it’s just as easy to screw up, the image of yourself I’m talking about here is equally, if not more, important. Smart and mature men understand that image and reputation is an important life tool that they cannot afford to get wrong. Look at the athletes, musicians, movie stars, politicians, and CEO’s that forgot image and reputation is important and look where they are now – broke, forgotten, in jail, and can’t catch a break. Their reputation is FOREVER ruined and most of them will never bounce back from it. That’s why people like Tom Brady, Ellen, Will Smith, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Keanu Reeves, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, Adam Sandler, Oprah, Meryl Streep, Ed Sheeran, Lebron James, George Clooney, Michael Jordan, Ryan Gosling, David Beckham, Jay Leno, etc. A BIG PART of their wildly successful lives and having the life, friends, and family they want is taking their valuable reputation and image seriously. They don’t care what people say about them BUT they ABSOLUTELY care about the impact their reputation has on their life, career, and opportunities. Find a picture or a video of any of these people with two middle fingers in the air and saying things like “I don’t give a fuck. Fuck everybody!” and engaging in other trashy and sloppy behaviors that those who are “too cool” to watch their reputation engage in. The secret is they know when to avoid talking and answering questions or hanging out with people that can damage their reputation. They don’t risk the wrong people getting the wrong idea about them. They think, “What possible repercussions can this thing I’m about to say or do have on my life, well-being, and opportunities.” They don’t risk it and they’re better off for it.

    If you want women to desperately want to be with you, start paying this much attention to your reputation and image. You should only be concerned with a reputation and image that’s positive, adds value to your life, gets you to where you want to go, and connects you with the people that you actually need in your life. When you’re connected to the right people for the right reasons and you have all the opportunities in the world, WOMEN WILL FLOCK TO BE WITH YOU! They’re not gold diggers, they know a smart man when they see one! Being the guy who has 50 pairs of Jordan’s, drives the souped up car with the Instagram sticker, or the being past quarterback of your high school football team is completely useless and unimportant. Big freakin’ deal, dude. It doesn’t add value to your life or give you a valuable reputation. The guy who wants to give you 6 figures to run his business doesn’t care about your wannabe sports car or your useless social media page. It’s worthless to him. He wants to know about your character, accomplishments, and your reputation. Oh, you didn’t spend time working on your character, accomplishments, and reputation over the last 10 years because you were focused on your Call Of Duty video game score? Sucks for you. You lost out on a life-changing opportunity, dude. Life isn’t unfair, you’re just focused on the wrong things. You have your priorities screwed up.

    I’m an Aircraft Mechanic and I’m currently restoring aircraft from the 1950’s and when they hired me for the job, the boss walked around with my resume and asked all of the mechanics, “Who knows this guy and what can you tell me about him?” He heard only good things and I was in. No interview required. If he hears anything bad, like the guy shows up late, he complains, he steals, does sloppy work and covers it up, etc., the guy doesn’t get hired and he loses out on an opportunity because he doesn’t care about his reputation. Simple as that.

    REPUTATION EQUALS MONEY, FRIENDS, WOMEN, CONNECTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES and you’re a moron if you think you can have a poor reputation AND the life you actually want.

    Your poor reputation follows you around and if you don’t start fixing it NOW, you’ll eventually run out of money, women, choices, and opportunity. There’s still time to become more mature, knock of the dumb shit, and turn it around. If you simply don’t care about the impression you’re making on everyone around you, then it will continually mess with every part of your life and you will always have serious, yet avoidable, “problems”. Pay attention to how your actions affect your reputation. “I don’t give a fuck” IS NOT an excuse to act ignorant and foolish.

    If you have “haters” and people avoid you, it’s very likely because you’re acting like a moron and you’re an embarrassment. When you know something can come back to haunt you, be smart about it. When you do something good, 10 people hear about it. When you do something stupid, 100 people hear about it. Not good for business or your life.

    5. Seeking Validation and Approval

    immature men seeking approval validation

    You can be as manly as you want and fight bears, wear flannel, grow a beard, chop wood, drink whiskey for breakfast, and act tough BUT if you don’t have the “kiss ass” feature inside turned “off”, then women won’t respect you or feel attraction for you. You can’t act like the epitome of masculinity but still turn into the most pathetic, approval-seeking man the second a pretty girl appears. That just makes you a fake dude that women avoid and make fun of.

    Maturity is GIVING YOURSELF VALIDATION AND APPROVAL. Why do you need it from some woman you don’t know? Why do you need it from people who don’t give a shit who you are or what you’re about? Women don’t sleep with you because they approve of you. They sleep of you because they’re attracted to you. Apples and oranges. How many women have you met that approve of you but they won’t let you get ANYWHERE near their panties? How many women have you met that seem like they don’t approve of you, and yet, they want to sleep with you over and over?

    Approval IS NOT attraction. Get that silly idea out of your head and knock off the childish, “please like me” attitude. It’s weak, lame, and pathetic.

    Who do you think women want to sleep with more? The guy who asks, “So, what do you think about me? Am I what you’re looking for?” or the guy who nonchalantly says, “I don’t care if you approve of me or not. I’m just looking to hang out, relax, and have fun.” The first guy is pressuring her, putting her on the spot, making things super weird, and trying to get something from her. The second guy is like, “Whatever, dude. I don’t care. I’m confident and comfortable in my own skin and I’m not trying to take anything from you.” Who do you think she feels more comfortable around? The guy who isn’t pressuring her in any kind of way.

    I’m dead serious, lose the “Do you approve of me?” mindset. Stop making yourself look so weak and pathetic. Here’s the truth about what happens when you’re in approval seeking mode and wanting her to like you – you take her to an expensive dinner and spend more money than you wanted to, then to the movies, or some other poor choice for a date, and then when you walk her to her car to see if you can kiss her good night, but you come up empty. She politely hugs you, tells you she had a “good time”, and drives off. The date is completely dead and OVER and all you got was a hug in return for all of the money you spent. Here’s where it gets worse – she’s not she’s not going home, she’s texting her “jerk” ex-boyfriend to see what he’s “doing”. You know why? She’s tipsy off of alcohol you bought and wants to get her turkey stuffed. Some OTHER GUY is getting laid on your dime! Believe it or not, she was even “open” to the idea of sleeping WITH YOU if you made her feel enough attraction, but you didn’t (Don’t listen to the “women don’t sleep around” and “no first date sex” garbage. Not true.) How do I know? I’m the ex-boyfriend sitting at home and I get a text at midnight that says, “Hey!!! Wyd. You mind if I come by???” Then when she comes by, she tells me about the boring date, all the things they guy said or did wrong, and then I bang her. That doesn’t make ME the bad guy. It makes YOU the guy who needs to quit approval seeking!

    6. Wannabe Tough Guy

    10 things that make women think you're immature - wannabe tough guy

    The wannabe tough guy thing makes women and ACTUAL TOUGH GUYS laugh because they can see how fake and ridiculous it looks. They automatically think you’re a mentally weak and immature guy hiding behind his crippling fear of being uncomfortable, getting hurt, or looking weak. Nobody respects or looks up to that.

    When you’re an ACTUAL TOUGH GUY, like Jon “Bones” Jones, and you don’t need to worry about someone messing with you or doing something stupid, you’re mature about it and you keep your ego in check. The need to prove how tough you are doesn’t exist. It’s just “whatever”. It is what it is and you’re not spending your time and energy focusing on it. Here’s one of Jon Jones’ interviews – see for yourself. When you’re an ACTUAL TOUGH GUY, you’re comfortable being uncomfortable – meaning you’re comfortable being in uncomfortable situations. Rolling around on the ground with someone, having punches and kicks thrown at your face, or someone trying to choke you is not as big of a deal for you as it would be for the average guy. You’re relaxed and able to let your guard down because you’re 100% sure of your ability to handle anything that goes sideways and if you’re not 100% sure, you’re 100% sure you won’t be frozen in fear. You don’t have the need to puff your chest out and hold your elbows out looking like a paranoid chicken. You don’t feel the need to stare people down and intimidate them or wear t-shirts describing how tough you are, how many guns you own, and why people shouldn’t mess with your daughter. The “I’m tough and I want you to notice” mindset just doesn’t exist when you’re an actual tough and dangerous man. All the bullshit just goes away and you’re not egotistical about what you’re capable of. If you don’t get it, read this paragraph over and over until you do.

    Focusing on shaping other people’s perception of you, like wanting to look tough, is a form of approval seeking. It’s a waste of time and creating a false image of being tough, dangerous, and edgy does NOTHING for you except attract trouble and weird women out. Normal women don’t want to date you if you’re always focused on intimidating people and proving you’re somehow better than them. They want you to cut the crap and chill out.

    The wanna be tough guy thing also includes going to the gym and lifting more weight than you can handle. You’re not getting anything out of it. Women aren’t watching you and thinking about how hard they want to ride you. They’re only thinking you look dumb. If you have to twist your body to bring the weight up when curling a dumbbell, you’re embarrassing yourself. If you have to lift your ass up off the bench and yell when hammering out reps on chest and you don’t have a spotter, you’re embarrassing yourself. It’s too much. Stop struggling, grunting, and bringing negative attention to yourself.

    Look how ridiculous some of these people look trying to prove how “strong” they are and how dangerous it actually is:

    When you’re a mature and mentally tough guy who attracts high-quality women, you don’t need to intimidate people to boost your ego, prove you’re an “alpha” male, or prove how tough and strong you are. Only immature waste their time on that nonsense. If you’re actually scared of being uncomfortable, getting beat up, or looking weak, do the mature thing and handle it the right way. Put yourself in that situation, get comfortable with it, and learn what it’s all about. Join boxing, Jiu-Jitsu, or some other self-defense class and get experience. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. The more experience you actually get and the better you get at it, the more the wannabe tough guy act naturally goes away on its own.


    7. Lacking Respect For Yourself and Others

    10 things that make women think you're immature - self respect

    Real Men:

  • Treat themselves and others right
  • Don’t accept disrespect from himself or those around him
  • Treat others the way they want to be treated.
  • Keep their word, show common courtesy, are punctual, have manners, and know how to be socially intelligent
  • Never belittle anyone
  • Don’t become power hungry tyrants
  • Don’t always need to prove they’re right
  • Immature men lack respect for themselves, women, and others. They say and do things that are abusive and they try to control women out of insecurity.

    Real men are secure and confident and don’t try to bully and control women and others.

    8. Low Standards

    10 things that make women think you're immature - high standards

    Real men’s high standards are the reason they treat themselves and others with respect.

    Mature men have clear standards on:

  • What is and isn’t acceptable
  • How they treat themselves and others
  • Not accepting bullshit, nonsense, and second-rate behavior from themselves, women, and others
  • What they do and don’t want in their life
  • Immature men have much lower standards.

    Define your standards. Set the bar high. Those who want to be part of your life will make the effort to meet your standards. Be clear on what IS and isn’t acceptable and live your life by it.

    9. Poor Social Skills

    10 things that make women think you're immature - poor social skills

    Immature men lack social discipline. They brag, show off, and lack class. Unaware of how they look and sound in social interactions, they lack manners, interrupt, and don’t focus on listening. Instead, they focus on what to say next instead of understanding what they’re being told. They talk more than necessary, use more words than necessary, and respond without thinking.

    No matter how great their life is, mature men avoid bragging and anything and any other bad social habits that make them seem like a douche bag. When others speak, they listen and give them an opportunity to feel understood. When responding, they pause, think about their response, and then carefully assemble their words. They understand verbal, body, and written language and make an effort to become better at interacting with others.


    10. Poor Self-Discipline and Self-Control

    10 things that make women think you're immature - self control self discipline

    Immature men avoid work and are only motivated to do what’s fun. They don’t discipline themselves to get the results they want.

    They don’t tell themselves “no” or make themselves do things that are tough and boring, yet beneficial – like working out, going to bed on time, getting up early, saving money, eating healthy, and getting their act together.

    When enough is enough, they don’t know how or when to stop gambling, drinking, partying, slacking off, eating, playing video games, watching tv, etc.

    Real men are about self-discipline and self-control. They know how to say “no” do what’s necessary for a better life. They aren’t victimized by a lack of self-control.

    Mature men control of their life and everything in it.

    Bonus: Real Men Chase and Get What They Want

    Immature men dream, wish, and hope their life will improve. They imagine doing they really want, BUT THEY NEVER TAKE ACTION! They say, “That sure would be nice” but fail to take steps in the right direction.

    Real men don’t have the time to dream, wish, and hope because they’re too busy making it happen! Every. Single. Day!

    Real men get what they want whether it’s a job, career, car, house, woman, etc. If they want it bad enough and it’s worth getting, they do whatever it takes to make it happen. They figure out what needs to happen, create a plan, execute, and get what they want. They stop at nothing to get the life they want and deserve.

    If you spend your time watching TV, playing video games, and doing other low-value activities, it’s time for it to stop. Figure out what you want, make a plan, execute the plan, and turn your life around.

    Too many old men, WHO WERE JUST LIKE YOU, say, “I wish I would have” instead of being able to say “I’m glad I did what I had to do to make it happen.”


    Real men don’t screw around. They handle their business, have their life in order, know what they do and don’t want, and live their lives by rules, principles, and standards. They don’t waste time playing dumb games with themselves and other people.

    Mature men get things done and move their life in the direction they want it to go. Start doing the same.

    Thanks for reading,

    – Marc Summers

    declare war on yourself book

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    32 comments on “10 Weak Mindsets and Behaviors that Make Women Think You’re Immature
    1. Rob says:

      Real men do what they need to do, to get what they want. I’ve shifted my mentality, to not want anything, or to not want anything bad enough to work for it. An I the only one?

    2. AB says:

      I agree with Don!

    3. ?????? says:

      But, there’s plenty of successful men who didn’t finish school. Other than that it’s a pretty good article.

    4. Mo says:

      As a woman who has been working for 20+ years and is the main breadwinner for her family, if I was in the position to be dating again I would never entertain a male who didn’t have a solid, longstanding profession and good track record of being responsible for himself, his bills, kids if he has them etc.

      I’m not interesting in adopting a male, I want a partner and someone who respects himself enough to not ask or allow any woman to take the role of his mother.

      • alex says:

        Mo says:
        June 16, 2019 at 1:29 pm
        As a woman who has been working for 20+ years and is the main breadwinner for her family, if I was in the position to be dating again I would never entertain a male who didn’t have a solid, longstanding profession and good track record of being responsible for himself, his bills, kids if he has them etc.

        I’m not interesting in adopting a male, I want a partner and someone who respects himself enough to not ask or allow any woman to take the role of his mother.”

        This is the reason why men should always refuse to couple up with dependent women, women see lower status men as sub humans

    5. Captain Oblivion says:

      Acknowledging one’s own deep seated insecurities (the feelings of not being secure) by taking a long hard look at oneself and doing some digging makes all the difference. Insecurities drive our attitudes and behaviors on an unconscious level. Awareness is the beginning of gaining control. Good luck, fuckers.

    6. Candy says:

      I agree.. it’s very true

    7. Emily madison says:

      I agree with this accept for
      .Video games and tv are cool
      .You can cry I don’t care just don’t embarrass yourself

    8. Danny Q says:

      As an immature man, I have to agree with *most* of the things in this article. Some things in other cultures are different in how they perceive what’s masculine, but that’s more or less negligible, as the point still stands as an ideal.

      But the one thing I would ask the author and those who read and agree with the article to remember is that while we are responsible for who we become, sometimes becoming a mature man takes a little longer for some because of any number of reasons. Sometimes becoming mature takes a little longer, but hopefully we’ll get there.

      Great article, spot on. I’d recommend anyone wanted to get some hard truth look at it.

    9. Terry jay says:

      What’s wrong with “30 years old and getting that associate’s degree in college” if they’re trying to get their life together

      • Marc Summers says:

        Terry, you have a very good point. What I meant was doing it at 30 because you’re lazy and you procrastinate. I should have been more clear. If you’re 30 and things are finally starting to click and you’re deciding to turn things around for yourself, then being in college at 30 is not a problem at all. It’s a good step in a positive direction no matter what age you’re at.

    10. Unseen says:

      I disagree with the “living with your parents” thing. There are many who live on their own and reek of immaturity and lack of fiscal responsibility.

      • Mo says:

        Adults should not want to live with their parents; it’s not natural for a child to cling to its first home and parents. The natural order is to leave the nest. If you aren’t living independently by 30 then there’s a huge problem because you’re not mentally able to live alone and be responsible for yourself or you have not prepared properly to do so.

    11. Woman of Wasted Youth says:

      The worst thing about most immature men if the they’ll never seek out or read this article even tho some of the points really characterize them so well. Especially # 10. I’ve grown tired of the word “fun” because my husband has continued to stay in his 20-something mindset. Well, I’m completely over it. After a decade of sticking it out with him and hoping he’d finally *get it*, I’m checking out. He’s just going to have to figure out how to be a mature person himself. His Spanish parents failed him, US society failed him but most of all, he failed himself.

      Thank you for the article. I wish this was a class in Highschool so kids would own up to their own shit and learn how to be an adult without wasting so much of their 20s with excuses.

    12. Jason says:

      I think this writer misses what a real man actually is, and rather lists things (in duplicate) for his peers to adhere to in the name of his own society/advantage. You then go on to conclude “Mature men [take] control of their life (lives) and everything in it.” I would guess it’s written by a city person surrounded by suburbs. I don’t know where to begin with you. Firstly for your lastly, view the list of Roman Emperors….scroll, and you will see that even those with supreme power get smoked, sometimes four in a year. The Egyptians figured expansion was mature up until it lead to invasions. All of merry ol’ England came to an end after Norwegians started to settle in northern France. “William” isn’t an English name btw, it’s French. If history tells anything, it’s every man for himself. Has this writer even tried to priest over his own little block or region? No? For Shame. A little bit of insight: It doesn’t work. The made-lowly or born lowly are lowly and they know their roles, which leads me to: As for the rest of the list, disregard. Why? It’s the gene pool, and society itself, stupid. If this writer expects obese (the majority) women to “woman-up” by taking on physical labor jobs to the point it’s all ooge knocking together that rooftop instead of men as he drives by whilst thanking himself he’s not a real man, I think he’s not fully being sincere with his outlook. I’m not sure I know anybody who is dynamic enough to breach their own selves and actually change, circumventing upbringing, environment, genes, etc.

      My point is, real men get killed just the same. If this writer had actual good intentions, he would be preaching “defensive living in an overpopulated world of hypocrites”.

      Maturity, please. This is a very short world of extremes and we are all young. I’d say the only mature thing to do is get the fuck out of the way of future generations.

    13. Alexander says:

      Thank you for the article.

      I have a feeling some negative impact is done by our environment. Not claiming 100%, but the research says that plastics add up to increase of estrogen. The overall increase in products that affect our hormones, has increased dramatically. And even though our bodies can adapt, one can only guess how much manliness overall was reduced by external factors.

      • Mo says:

        Estrogen should also be making you more cooperative and nurturing but we’re seeing males who are creating babies and having nothing to do with them. So I don’t think it’s estrogen increase that’s stopping males from maturing properly. Society has changed dramatically and we don’t expect much from males anymore. We think it’s normal for a 25, 35 or even 45 year old male to be playing video games and constantly watching super hero movies and porn because we expect the males to be having “fun” and being entertained and comfortable constantly. There’s a lack of self discipline and even labor on their part. Women have also been in the workforce in droves since the 80s and now we have families where the woman/mother is the main provider for the male and the children. We didn’t see that much at all in decades past. It used to be a male moved away from his parents, went to school and learned a trade or entered the military. He would start a family and work and provide. He could at the time do this on his salary alone. He could have a home and a car and wife and kids all on his salary.

        Today we need two, three, four incomes for one family. People have two or three cars or trucks instead of something modest. We want and have a lot more expensive stuff than we used to — people just in general lived with a lot less in the 60s and 70s. Today we’re told we deserve, should have and NEED all the stuff we accumulate.

        So estrogen, it’s just a hormone. It can affect you somewhat but nowhere near as much as society’s teachings which come to us from every direction and are echoed by anyone and everyone, reinforcing these ideas and ideals.

        When did it become “normal” to father 3 or 4 kids and not be married? Live with a woman for 10 years but never marry? Walk away from your kids, not pay child support? Not feel you should even have to? Get mad at women for getting pregnant when you controlled where your sperm went? Males are just not expecting anything from themselves anymore. They even walk around in raggy t shirts and ripped dirty jeans where males used to look dapper and sophisticated in suits and hats.

        No one is doing it “to” you — you accept this stuff yourself and perpetuate it. You want to be a little boy? You will have women in your life treat you like a child because women are hard coded to take care of those who are weak like that. If you sit around and play video games like a child, you will be seen as a child and treated as a child. Put away the childish things and you will get the respect and esteem you want and need from those around you.

    14. Peter says:

      Perfect. These things are often subtle subversions of reality, but not in this case. The only thing I’d argue is that men don’t care what others think because thinking changes as we evolve. But they do care that their thinking creates the reality we all experience, so they’re obliged to influence other’s thinking in the right direction.

    15. Badlandsbabe says:

      Great write. I’m glad to see that there are still some real men out there, it gives those of us women seeking that hope. I was fortunate to grow up with real men as the male influences i n my life, however I was in for a real rude awakening when it came to dating… People ask me with the majority being males, why it is I remain single? This article is why. To many of my female friends accept this bullshit & enable it & because I flat out refuse, I’m labeled with a reputation that superceeds me wherever I go & I’m more then good with that. I’d rather be known as a bitch & a ball breaker who doesn’t take or put up with crap anytime, than put up with whiny, disrespectful, self involved, unemployed, abusive slackers who go around with their arrogant, sense of self entitlement & a million excuses as to why their lack of ambition & unmotivated laziness is somehow everyone elses fault, all while masquerading as real men. The majority have somehow erroneously mistook my interest in them, solely based on their outstanding ability to charismatically lie to women, as somehow wanting to take the place of their mommies. It’s to bad all the time & energy that’s wasted on game playing & untruths isn’t put into growing up.

    16. Nadine says:

      I’m a woman reading this an OMG every word you said is completely true. No man should be living at home with his parents at the age of 30’s and 40 unless they are mentally or physically handicap. I’m so tired of hearing the excuses and the you haven’t walked in my shoes crap. Having their mommies fighting their battles, washing their underware and picking out their clothes.
      This hits home his mom runs his life, I won’t put up with it anymore more unless he grows some balls and has the courage to stand up and be a man.
      I’m not bashing men, I love men and I have three sons. But men need to be MEN and stop being a poor excuse!

      • Some dude says:

        What if your dad died young?

        • Mo says:

          My father died at age 45. I was 16 years old. In those 16 years he worked I think maybe 2 years, and I’m giving the benefit because I can’t recall if he quit his job before I was born or just after. At the end of his life he worked a little bit, maybe a year but I am not sure. Now from the time I was 6, my mother supported our family. She went to work every day. She worked nights so I hardly ever even saw her. She would say bye at night, i went to sleep, wake up and go to school and by the time I got home she was already asleep to get up for work at 10PM again to start over. I used to communicate with her by leaving letters on my bed. She paid all the bills. She provided health insurance. She paid for the car and the gas and well, EVERYTHING.

          What did my dad do? He mainly sat around the house and watched TV. He was into Star Trek. Westworld, that old movie. He dominated the house and wouldn’t let us have friends over. He had assaulted my mom when I was very very little but learned that his gravy train would end so stopped that pretty quick.

          My mom being Christian and Catholic felt that she wanted to honor her vows to him. She eventually divorced but regretted it because she felt guilty. It was a bad situation with a male who never grew up, didn’t take care of his children, and acted like a child himself. He was jealous of her attention to us. He wanted to just be one of her kids. Taken care of.

          In the end, his life amounted to very little. He didn’t really get to fully enjoy it, he had only distractions and entertainments but nothing substantial or deep. 45 short years and left behind children who never felt loved at all because what father who loves his kids would allow them to suffer like that? To never take care of them or provide? To be angry at them for existing? To be angry at his wife, even?

          I don’t know whose fault it was. All I know is I feel angry and also sorry for him. He missed out on life and caused so much pain.

          Now what I see is males everywhere invested in having lots of sex and playing lots of video games and this is somehow normal for them. They should get vasectomies right off the bat. No one who has the mindset of a child should be having children.

    17. Tyson says:

      The op is simply helping explain how to be a man to many guys, whose parents failed to instill these characteristics in them. I love women, make good money, workout, mountain bike and I wreck a lot. My point is I used to think being a metrosexual in my 20s was acceptable… but I was a kid in an adult body, I disrespected women to get laid, lied cheated, stole, manipulated and was passive aggressive. I knew all this so what did I do? I tried to join the army and my parents talked me out of it. Worst mistake I made was letting them. All this is taught in the armed Forces. Drill sargeants break men down and build them back up to portray these manly characteristics and looking back I wish I had a strong role model of a man in my life, blunt, harsh, but concerned and was harsh out of love and respect for me. Looking back I’ve been driven by insecurity, outside validation, hypochondria, vigilance, fear… this article and the op just nailed what it is to be a real man and I am going to follow my interpretation of it. This Article is downright 100%. The ‘new’ world is taking a crap on mans masculinity… get self aware and own your shit and thank this man for giving you the commandments of being a man.

    18. Jack says:

      Another point of being a real man would be to have self-awareness. Clearly, you have none. Points three and four practically contradict each other. How can you care about your reputation and image if you’re suggestion men shouldn’t worry about impressing others? Also, if that’s the case then why would they care if they have social status at all? It’s the same thing. If you care about your status you care about what people think and say about you to an extent. In the end, worrying about impressing others.

      Other than that, I can agree with the rest of the article.

      • Marc Summers says:

        Jack, it is perfectly possible to maintain a clean and respectable reputation while, at the same time, not investing emotional energy into the petty and ignorant opinions of those who are seeking attention, jealous, or attempting to get under your skin. It is immature to be 100% oblivious or careless about what kind of impact you’re making on others and how you make others feel when you’re around them. Have a good reputation, but at the same time, you can’t be concerned with what EVERYONE thinks of you. If you can’t understand this simple concept, you might consider working on YOUR self-awareness.

    19. L tate says:

      This is true and blunt. Unfortunately until a man wants to grow up nothing he reads will makes sense.

    20. Don says:

      Who is the complete idiot who wrote this stinking pile of dogshit? You act like it’s a level playing field and everyone has the circumstances. Some people have longer roads to how you moron. Being a man has nothing to do with where you end up and when. I’ve seen entitled little rich boys go through college and because they’re “educated”, make a lot of money and go far. I’ve seen men of meager means take years to claw their way up before they could find the time and money to put themselves through night school to get an associate’s degree. Your generalizations speak volumes about your true stature as an adult. Grow up dipshit.

      • Marc Summers says:

        Thanks for your comment, Don. By the way, I’m the complete idiot who wrote this article. Why are you so angry? FYI, some people make the “road” harder and longer on THEMSELVES because they choose to find reasons it’s “hard” and “impossible” and they choose to be victimized by life. Life isn’t fair, get over it, but it’s all about the MINDSET and attitude you choose to have while dealing with your particular situation. I lived in my car when I was 17 years old, showered anywhere I could, STILL ironed my clothes at the laundromat, still went to job interviews, still worked 12 hours a day 7 days a week, got a nice apartment, paid my bills, and STILL went to college without acting like a baby about it and having a “poor me, life is hard” attitude. I did whatever was necessary and barely, and I mean BARELY complained about it. I didn’t tell my mother about it until I turned 30 and she’s the one who put me on the street! So I don’t care how “hard” you’re saying everything is, it’s DOABLE for ANYONE in ANY SITUATION.

      • Peter says:

        Don, your attitude needs adjustment, and if anybody close to you cared, they adjust it for you. Sometimes, they try to adjust it but if you scream like that, they’ll probably just let you follow that thinking to the end. Sometimes we like to learn the hard way, don’t we?

        After you’ve adjusted your attitude, work on exercising your will power by doing things you don’t want to do, but know are right, or good.

        Then, remember the equation – Power + Attitude = Performance. It works.

    21. Bobsen says:

      Massive RESPECT to this dope article. You’re the best man.

    22. New Around Here says:

      Thank you for writing this. I recently started dating again and see way too many men that are really boys.

      Pro Tip: If the woman you want to date lives alone in her own house and has a white collar job while you live in your parent’s basement, don’t ask her out.

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